If This Be Treason, Make the Most of It
by streetlightlove
Summary: AU - American Revolutionary War - Peeta's POV. "I don't know what it is about this girl with the stormy eyes, but she unhinges me. She attacks my equilibrium and I find it hard to think with her eyes on me" Banner by Ro Nordmann h t t p:/tinyurl . com/Banner-ITBTMtMoI (Remove spaces)
1. Chapter 1

**Hi Everyone,**

**I apologize this will be a super long AN but then I promise they will be short and sweet after this...**

**So this story is based off of a prompt by HGRomance... So I really hope I can make good on it! (Please read her stories 'Goddess' and 'Legend' They are UN-F'n-Believable! You won't be disappointed. )**

**So this is an AU about Massachusetts (Mostly the Boston area) just prior to and during the Revolutionary War. There may be story outside of Mass in the future, but I'm sticking here for now. I myself live a little north of Boston so it makes it easier for me. **

**The Story will be from Peeta's POV, and even though yes there will be romance between Peeta and a certain gray eyed beauty this really is Peeta's story and how he deals with family, politics, love and war during this time period...but again that's not to say that Katniss won't be a big part of this story because she will...**

**Speaking of Katniss... She out of everyone will probably be the most OOC. Story will explain it but in here she has kind of lost her self deprecating 'no one could love me' attitude and instead I have emphasized her I am a kick-ass chic who can take care of myself trait, so she should be fun (You will meet her in chapter 2)... Everyone else should be pretty In character...But w/ that said they may all be OOC for the time period. I'm not going to attempt to write the dialect of that period, mostly because I am not comfortable with it and will be afraid things will get stuffy...so I apologize in advance...  
**

**Umm what else...Ok I am going to try to be super factual with big events and such, but may have to alter names and some smaller events so that I can add that Hunger Games flair we all love so much, so I hope it translates well for those who love HG and those who love History (I am one of both). **

**I have also decided that for those who love history I am going to try and add a fact about that time period after ever chapter so I can get super dorky with you guys...**

**I am going to rate this M because its war so there will be violence, I may sneak in the occasional swear, and if all goes well maybe a little bit of lemon... I already have a pretty sexy scene in my head which involves Peeta, Katniss and a speech by Patrick Henry...hee hee hee**

**I will try to post once a week at least...hopefully I will always be able to stick to that or do better... **Crosses fingers*****

**And Last...**

**I do not own the Hunger Games, but I do think Suzanne Collins is a genius!**

**I reeeeeeeally hope you enjoy!**

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**April 1769**

I make my way down the road that I have traversed many times before, the simple dirt road that will lead me to my family's estate on the outskirts of Braintree, Massachusetts. The change of season is assaulting my senses, as I take a liberating breath of the springtime air. The road is quiet besides the sounds of my horse's heavy hoof falls and the birds chirping contently in the trees above my head as the mid-afternoon sun shines through new leaves.

A small marker to my left indicates that I am approaching the Adams Farm. I have never had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Adams, but a few years back his wife Abigail visited my father's bakery. I feel my chest knot up at the memory. My father had been so proud that day, he was more than happy to let Mrs. Adams sample anything and everything. I could see the gleam of pride in his eye when she very straightforwardly informed my father that these were the best cakes she had ever had. I peered at her curiously from the back room; finding her so interesting, a paradox if you will. She was more forward than any woman I had ever come across, yet there was a kindness about her that was unmistakable. She did not carry the same harshness in her eyes that the matriarch of our family did.

"Oh father.", I whisper softly, the words taken from me by a sweet scented zephyr. I miss him more and more everyday. My father passed away three months ago, a wasting disease the doctor had called it. He died on a Tuesday morning before the sun had even begun to illuminate the sky. The candle light next to his death bed flickered on the hollows of his face, casting eerie shadows on the man not long for this world. I held his hand and I cried. Neither my mother nor older brother came into this room very often, and had not on these past few days when time was becoming so short. My tears and strong grip were the only gifts of passing this wonderful man was given.

Moments before he took his last breath, his eyes opened and he looked into mine, for a moment all we did was stare into the mirrors of blue wordlessly, a smile playing on my father's lips. With what strength he had he squeezed my hand back.

"Peeta.", his voice was shaky and his breathing labored. I tried to shush him, hoping for him to save his strength, but he shook his head, determination in his eyes as he started again.

"Peeta... I could never have hoped for a better son. I am so proud... so proud of you." He paused momentarily to catch his breath, I could hear the rattle in his lungs, "Always do what is right, and you will never be... be wrong." The slight smile on his face holding on a few moments longer before his head is resting back on his pillow. His eyes closed one last time, and his grip on my hand wavered. Two heavy breaths later and he was gone. He was buried under the apple orchard on our estate at my insistence, it was his favorite place.

So now I am heading to see my mother and brother, but not to go home. When my father died it stopped being home. I am currently on break from my studies at Harvard. It is the desire of my mother that I become a lawyer. It is not to say that I do not enjoy my studies. Frankly, I have excelled at them, especially in terms of speechwriting and public speaking. My professor calls me a natural wordsmith with a talent for persuasion, traits that will come in handy in a courtroom. However, I had always pictured myself taking over my father's bakery when he retired. My happiest memories were born in that bakery when I was in the company of my father. My mother would never hear of such a thing, I was not to play merchant like my father, and was instead to make something of myself and my name. So instead of walking in my father's footsteps after graduating from Boston Latin, I was sent to Cambridge to attend Harvard. I was thoroughly disappointed; my father was clearly heartbroken.

It is not as if my father came from nothing, his family were of a merchant class and had run a family bakery for many years. My mother on the other hand came from exceeding wealth. Most of her family lives in Canada now, but my mother, for some reason, decided to settle down in Massachusetts with my father. It has always been puzzling to me how the two had ended up together in the first place. I had often wondered to myself, with slight amusement, if no one else would have that shrew of a woman.

Once married and settled, my mother found it aberrant that my father, who was now subject to so much wealth, would continue to run the bakery. She simply chose not to understand that it was not a livelihood for my father, but the makings of his soul. As soon as my father became too ill to run the bakery on his own and I had been shipped off to school, my mother closed the doors to my father's spirit. She sold the land without delay, donating the money from the sale to the Church of England. I often wonder if this cruel act was not the cause of my father's ultimate demise.

The young stable boy named Thom, a small dark haired lad whose father works for my mother running the estate, meets me near the large white house to take Lily, my horse. I dismount Lily and quickly reward her with an apple I retrieve from my coat pocket. After eating the apple, she lowers her head and I gently rub the white spot between her eyes, the color out of place on her otherwise chestnut color hair.

"Hello Thom." I look down to the small boy whose unruly black curls rival the blond ones on my head.

"Hello", he glances around quickly. "...Peeta." I give him a knowing smile, if someone else were around he would have to address me as "Mr Mellark", but I am not one for all that proper nonsense. I see him quickly glance at my other coat pocket and I can't help but chuckle as his cheeks flush with heat. I pull out the small package of peppermints that I picked up In Cambridge specifically for Thom. They are his favorite after all. Thom happily frees my hand of the bag and rewards me with a large smile. "Thank you Peeta." I just nod back.

"Take care of Lily.", I say with a wave before heading up to the house. I remove my hat and coat as soon as I close the door behind me. I yell out a greeting, but am only answered back by the quiet and stillness of the house. I sigh, expecting no less, and make my way to the kitchen. The ride has left me famished. When I open the door I am greeted by the sound and smells of cooking.

"Peeta!" I look up to see our old cook Sae making her way around the counter, hands extended. I walk towards her and she takes my face in her hands, using her thumbs to drag over the bit of stubble that has grown since this morning. My hands come up to cover hers and I smile at the happiness that is on her face.

"Hello Sae." I lean over and kiss her on her cheek. Sae has been cooking for the family since I was in diapers and in all my 19 years I have never met a kinder soul. She managed to do her job all this time while still giving me the motherly affection I was missing. "Where's mother and Luke, were they not expecting me?" Sae releases my face and her smile falls.

"They are in the parlor with the Cartwrights." I cock my head and narrow my eyes in confusion at her words. She merely shrugs. "I haven't a clue as to the reason for their visit, but I do know your mother is in one of her moods." I smirk at her choice of words.

"Mr. Mellark?" I hear a soft voice behind me, I turn to see a beautiful girl with green eyes and dark hair. When our eyes meet she curtsies gently and averts her gaze.

"Annie!" I say enthusiastically. I take two strides in her direction and pull her into an embrace. She stiffens temporarily and then reciprocates the hug. Annie's mother was the head housekeeper for as long as I can remember. She was a widow with a young daughter to raise and no monetary support. My father managed to get her a job, and her daughter Annie, lived in the house with her, becoming the closest thing to a sister, and the best playmate I have ever had. When her mother died last year, both father and I managed to secure Annie her mother's old position.

"Peeta.", she squeaks into my shoulder, "You are going to make trouble for me. Your mother sent me to find you." I pull back but still steady my arms on her shoulders. Her mouth is serious, but her eyes are anything but. "We've missed you.", she whispers. I can't help but smile as I look between the two women who may be the last real family I have.

"Me too.", I say softly before pulling Annie to me so I can plant a kiss on her forehead. With a heavy sigh I make my way towards the parlor.

As I open the doors that lead to the parlor, I see my mother and brother Luke, sitting at a table set for late tea with Mr. and Mrs. Cartwright and their daughter Adele. The Cartwrights have been my mother's closest friends for many years. I approach the table with caution, not knowing the reason for this late day meeting, my stomach twists with apprehension. Adele sees me first and her eyes light up with delight, the corners of her mouth tuning up slightly. My mother must catch the look on her face because without turning to greet me she addresses her guests.

"I must apologize for the tardiness of my youngest son. He has always been a hapless daydreamer like his father." I cringe inside at her mention of my father, but I hold my face steady and deny it the scowl it would like to display. As I close the distance between myself and the table, the rest of those seated finally look my way for the first time. I bow tightly at the Cartwrights.

"Mr and Mrs. Cartwright, Miss Cartwright." I finish with a nod to the family of three then turn to my brother and give him a nod before leaning over to give my mother a kiss on the cheek, which is merely for show. "Mother.", I say. I see her glare at me from the corner of her eyes. She turns ever so slightly in my direction and whispers.

"Will you tame that hair. You have the appearance of a dockworker." I ignore my mother's biting comment and look to her guests instead.

"It is such a pleasure to see you on this beautiful spring eve. To what do I owe this happy homecoming?" I almost choke on the word happy as I look at the puritanical scowl of Mrs. Cartwright, she is a woman of God and not much else. Luckily for Adele, her father shares her cheery disposition. My question is answered by awkward glances at my mother by the Cartwrights.

"Times are changing Peeta.", my mother begins, "Those who respect the crown and the love and protection it gives us, those who believe that we are still Englishmen are being treated with the utmost disrespect. We are expected to bow down to the likes of wild animals calling themselves _Patriots." _, she spits the word out as though it were bitter on her tongue. Suddenly her features soften towards me ever so slightly, and I wonder what game she is playing at. "There have been incidents, violence towards loyalists. We are no longer safe here..." Her pause seems to last an eternity and my heart begins to race. "We are moving Peeta. We are going to be living closer to my cousins up..." I cut her off before she can finish her sentence.

"In Nova Scotia?!", my voice comes out much louder than I intended, and my mother looks at me with a mix of shock and rage at my outburst.

"Yes, Peeta, Nova Scotia. We will be living with family."

"No..No I will not go... No, I will not move, I have school and... No this is..." _This is my home. _I think to myself, I love New England, I love Boston, I love it's fire, its spirit. I don't want to move to Canada. Seriously, Canada, of all places. I will not live with my mother's family, for all I know they are just like her. What kind of life and future would await me in the far north.

"Peeta, _this_ is not a discussion, you _will_ go." My mother's coloring betrays her rage, I glance quickly at the Cartwrights. Mrs. Cartwright's mouth is tied into a knot of disgust, Mr. Cartwright is looking at his lap, and Adele, my sweet, sweet Adele. Her sapphire eyes shimmer with unshed tears, as they plead to me. I nearly lose my resolve right there between her eyes and her cherry red lips, and bit of sunshine colored hair that can be seen from under her bonnet. I cannot tear my eyes away from her's as I ask my next question.

"And if I choose not to go?" I think I can hear my mother gasp.

"Then you are no longer a son of mine. You will be cut off entirely. You would be no better than any of those who wish to destroy our way of life. You would be nothing but a_ traitor." _ The venom she spits as she finishes her statement would be deadly enough to kill any serpent. I tear my eyes away from Adele's, about to state my case to my mother, when I am interrupted by a vindictive chuckle that comes from my brother.

"Peeta, try to be reasonable for once in your life. You are proving to be a bigger fool than our father." I look to Luke. My fingernails digging into the palm of hand and I feel my skin tighten over my knuckles. I take a deep cathartic breath, I am not at all surprised at my brother's attitude, he is a perfect copy of my mother, from his political views to his cruelness. He and father never saw eye to eye, but Luke was always the perfect prince that my mother wanted. Even though I expect this kind of comment from him, that does not mean that I am not enraged by it. I cannot stomach anyone speaking ill of my father, especially now that he is gone.

I manage to control my anger and choose not to make an ungentlemanly gesture, such as break Luke's nose. Instead I look straight into my mother's eyes. I stand tall and proud and use my diaphragm to make my voice clear. With careful precision I say my final words on the matter.

"I. Will. Not. Be. Joining. You. May the Lord bless thee and keep thee safe on your trip to your new home." Before anyone has a chance to stop me I leave the parlor.

I had always known growing up that my mother and father subscribed to differing political philosophies. When I was 14, I remember coming into the bakery after a day of school to find my father looking over a parchment in his hands. When I asked what the paper said he told me of a new tax set by parliament, called the Sugar Act. The act would put a 3-pence tax on every gallon of molasses. I was surprised by the gloom that was apparent on my father's face. I understood that molasses was a main ingredient in our pastries and cakes, but we were not lacking wealth, so I did not understand why a seemingly insignificant amount of money could mean so much to him. When I asked as much he simply sighed and smiled sadly. He told me it was not the amount or even the tax itself, but instead it was the act of taxation without representation. Our colonies did not have an ambassador to England and therefore were not given the ability to vote or voice our say on matters such as this. He then told me this tax was so England could make up for losses suffered during the French-Indian War, and that we were the only ones being taxed even though it was the colonists whose blood was spilled. As far as my father was concerned we had already paid our debts.

The conversation came up again at the evening meal. My mother thought it ridiculous that anyone would question any decision made by the crown. She was mortified that a question of paying taxes would even come up at her table. No matter how my father explained it, my mother would not believe her parent country was anything other than giving and gracious. Politics were not spoken of at our table again, but in the years since the Sugar Act we have had other taxes implemented without any voice. The Currency Act and Stamp Act came a few years later. I remember how elated my father was as he read to me in the kitchen of the bakery a speech by Patrick Henry in regards to the Stamp Act. I still remember the line as it flowed from my father's mouth, "If this be treason, make the most of it." Since that day I have followed the career of Patrick Henry very closely.

I find myself pacing my bedroom with no real plan of what to do next. I know that my mother was not bluffing, and that sooner or later she will expect me to leave this house. I am just not entirely sure where I will go. I silently mourn the end of my college education at least for now. As I am mentally trying to come up with some sort of plan I hear my bedroom door open behind me. I feel her before I hear her sweet voice.

"Peeta?" I turn and see Adele standing there, she looks defeated. Her shoulders slumped. Her eyes are rimmed with red, and the streaks of her hot tears have left their imprint on her cheeks. My stomach twists at the realization that I caused her pain. "Peeta you must come with us." Her voice cracks with desperation. I approach her, slowly raising my hand to cup her left cheek. She closes her eyes and leans into my palm. I let out a shaky breath before I speak.

"Oh Delly, my sweet beautiful Delly, I am so sorry, but I cannot go. This is... home." As she listens a sob escapes her lips and I take her into my arms, my shirt absorbing her tears. When the sobs that wrack her body finally subside I hear her soft voice again.

"I have always loved you, Peeta, sadly it's decisions like the one you made today that made me fall so incredibly hard for you." Her words bring the sting of tears to my eyes and I ask the question, even though I already know the answer.

"Stay with me?"

"You know I cannot.", she replies with a heavy sigh. I do know that, I know that she could never leave her family. I know that her own views are very much loyalist, and therefore this move will be safer for her. I do want for her to be safe... always. She pulls away not looking at me, and I know she does not have the strength to say goodbye, but I cannot leave it like this. This cannot end this way. I will not profess my love for her, because all it would do is hurt her now, but I need her to know that I did not make this decision lightly.

Just as she reaches the door I run to her, grabbing her arm, spinning her so she is facing me. In one swift motion I take her face in my hands and crash my lips into hers. The kiss is my everything, and I want to give everything to her. I press her against the closed door pinning her with my hips. She moans into my mouth as her hands reach into my unruly hair. Sadly the fire of the kiss soon becomes more and more hesitant, and I know that this is the end. When we break apart we look into each other eyes one last time before we both mouth the word, "Goodbye".

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**Fun Fact - The 1764 Sugar Act was actually put in place to replace the previous tax of the Molasses Act. What is funny is the Molasses Act was 6-pence per Gallon vs. the Sugar Acts 3-pence. The difference being that the Molasses act was almost never enforced, whereas the later Sugar Act was strictly enforced...**

**Thanks for Reading**


	2. Chapter 2

******Hi Everyone, Thank you so much for the outpouring of interest in this story, for all of those who reviewed, followed and favorited you are amazing!**

**It was pointed out to me by a reviewer that Peeta would not have referred to Canada as Canada in 1769. I did the research myself and that is correct, so I apologize for the mistake. With that said I am sure that I will get lots of things incorrect along the way, though I will try my best not to, but I hope regardless that you still enjoy the story.**

**This chapter literally took until this evening to write. I don't know why it gave me such trouble, but because it took so long my editing team (My husband and I) had very little time to edit, but because I didn't want to fail on my update timeline right off the bat I am posting this anyways. In the future I hope to have the chapter done earlier in the week, and possibly get a 3rd set of eyes to use for editing. I do hope tho that this chapter isn't a grammatical nightmare. **

**Also besides any story by HGRomance, please also for your sake check out "Stories of Us"by Ameiko - absolutely fantastic...**

**Until then please enjoy! **

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**July 1769**

I suppose in a way I am lucky that my mother, who cares so little about people, cares a great deal about what people think. I had been allowed to remain in the house until my mother left. She did not want to risk anyone finding her son begging on the street. It has been three months since that day where the lines of our beliefs had been drawn. The Cartwrights moved last month, but Delly and I had not spoken since we gave our farewells in my bedroom. It was simply too painful.

I did not return to college after the spring recess, but I did correspond with my good friend and roommate from my dormitory, Finnick Odair. My mother chose not to take any of her servants with her to Nova Scotia besides Richard, her groundskeeper, and his son Thom, the stable boy. I wanted to beg her for at least Annie and Sae's positions, as it is hard to find work for house servants nowadays, but my mother hasn't entertained an audience with me since our argument and the following disownment. So I wrote Finnick hoping for his help.

Finnick's family made their wealth in ship building. Their massive estate and business lies in the farming community of Tiverton, RI. It was a long shot when I asked Finnick if he could find positions for Sae and Annie at his residence, but I was pleasantly surprised when he said his family would be more than willing to take both of them on.

This is where the three of us head to now. Our carriage has just passed the town limits of Fall River, Massachusetts, so I know we are not too far off now. The trip has taken us less than two days. I was able to secure us lodging at a farm along the way. The elderly couple who lived there did not want much, simply the company. They in return were more than generous with the meal this morning.

We pull up to the Odair residents about mid-afternoon. Sae doesn't seem at all phased by her sudden change of residence, but I can tell Annie is very anxious. She sits stiffly next to me, wringing her shaky hands in her lap. I let out a sigh before placing a hand over hers. This action seems to snap her out of the thoughts that plague her. She looks at me, and I can see nervous tears glaze over the emeralds in her eyes.

"It will be ok Annie, I promise you." I try to ease her with a smile. "The Odairs are a kind family, you will never have to serve someone like my mother again." This statement makes her smile slightly. Her shoulders seem to relax. She breaks her hands apart and grabs mine. She brings my knuckles to her mouth and kisses them lightly.

"Thank you so much Peeta. Thank you for what you have done for Sae and I. We would have been lost without your kindness." I simply shake my head, taking one of her hands in mine and repeating her actions, kissing her knuckles.

"You and Sae are the only family I have left. I love you both. I would do anything for you. I will always make sure you are safe." I held her hand for the rest of the trip.

As we pull up to the front of the off-yellow mansion, I realize I am excited to see my friend. I also realize this is the first stop on the road to my new life. I am no longer the boy who grew up in the lap of luxury. I am now Peeta Mellark; the man who has nothing. I have never been so scared and thrilled in my entire life.

As the horses pull to a stop, Finnick comes running out his front door, followed by his parents, who I had met once before on holiday the previous year. Finnick runs up behind me as I help Annie and Sae out of the carriage. When I spin around to greet Finnick I am pulled into a strong hug instead.

"Peeta my boy, we miss you in Cambridge. School is _not_ the same without you." I pull back and pat my hand on Finnicks shoulder repaying his smile with one of my own. I spin around to grin at Sae and Annie, who regard the two of us with amusement.

"Finnick Odair, let me introduce to you Sae Bowman... ", Finnick bows to her, a smile on his face, "...and Annie Cresta." Finnick looks as though he may bow to her but stops suddenly, and proceeds to stare. His jaw slack and his sea green eyes wide. Annie looks down immediately, blushing from the attention.

"Mr. Odair.", she says with a curtsy. The sound of her voice seems to jostle Finnick. In school, Finnick was always very friendly with any ladies we would encounter while mulling around town between classes. They always seem to find him debonair, dashing and suave. Yet in this moment I see none of those traits in Finnick Odair.

"M..M..Miss Cresta, its a... pleasure to me...meet you." His reaction to Annie threatens to overcome me with laughter. I walk up next to Finnick and face Annie.

"At Harvard they call him 'The Man with the Silver Tongue'." I jest as a pat him hard on the back. I watch as the corner of Annie's lips turn up into a smirk.

"Peet...", Finnick breathes, "Please do not shame me in front of this beautiful girl." My laughter will not be held back any longer, it comes out loud and boisterous as I make my way to Finnick's parents.

"Mr. and Mrs. Odair.", I bow, "It is so wonderful to see you again. Thank you so much for taking in Sae and Annie, they mean the world to me." Mrs. Odair approaches me taking one of my hands in hers. Her eyes are the same sea green as Finnicks, but her hair is a dark brown, unlike the copper hair of her son and husband.

"Oh Peeta, we are so happy we could help you. We are very sorry for what you are going through and we were devastated to hear of your father's passing." I bow my head as she speaks. "We hope that we can convince you to stay with us for as long as you need." I look up at her again, and begin to feel the slight sting of tears forming at her generosity. I clear my throat.

"Thank you so much, your family has always been so kind to me." I smile to both of them, then turn back around to watch a still-tongue-tied Finnick try to have a conversation with Annie. Sae couldn't look anymore amused.

The night turns into days and the days into weeks and suddenly I have found myself here for a month. It is not that I do not enjoy my time here, I certainly do, and it has been lovely to be here while Sae and Annie adjusted to their new positions. The Odairs have been beyond generous to all of us, yet I am starting to feel restrained. I realize that as much as I love it here, this is not where I belong. I think it is time to start my life.

That night Finnick and I sip rum and smoke cigars from New York.

"Finn.", I begin

"Hmm?", he murmurs into his half filled cup.

"I think it's time for me to head out on my own."

"Peet, you know you can stay with us as long as you want. We really enjoy having you here."

"I know Finn, I know. You have gone above and beyond for me and I cannot begin to show my gratitude, but I have to do this."

"But where are going to go? What are you going to do?", there is a slight desperation in his voice

"I figure I will head to Boston and go from there." Finnick seems unconvinced by my plan.

"Peet, living costs money, and you have been cut-off. How do you expect to survive? Winter is just around the corner."

"I'll be fine, Finn." He cocks an eyebrow at me. "No, seriously, I have some money and when I get to Boston I will find work." Finnick lets out an exasperated sigh.

"I won't be convincing you to stay will I Peeta?" I simply shake my head. "Well you'll come visit me at school won't you? So I can check on you?" His statement elicits a laugh from me.

"Fine Finn. I promise to check in."

I appreciated Finnick's concern, but I know I will be alright. My father had insisted on paying me when I worked at the bakery. I had thought the idea ludacris because I had never wanted for anything material in my entire life. When I explained as much to my father he tilted my chin up so that my eyes could meet his and he said.

"Peeta, a man should be paid for the work that he puts in." I knew in my heart he wasn't just referring to payment in coin but I took the pay anyways, and now I was glad I had.

I decided finding work may not be so hard either. My writing and reading was excellent and I could speak and write almost perfect french. I was of an above average height, and broad like my father, not to mention the years of working in the bakery defined my body with muscle.

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Two days later and I was ready to make my way out into the world, my destination was Boston, where I would find honest work and a place to live. The whole Odair family had tried to convince me to stay, but I managed to calm their disappointment with the promise of a visit at Christmas time if the weather permitted.

I had said my goodbyes to Annie and Sae that morning. Knowing I had done right by them, knowing they both had a good life ahead of them; especially Annie, whom I had witnessed more than once over the past month locked in meaningful gazes with Finnick.

I took both Sae and Annie into my arms, kissing them fiercely on the top of their heads, replacing my lips with the tears I found myself shedding during the goodbye. They both left my shirt equally as wet. We whispered "I love yous" and I promised to write as soon as I found a place to reside.

My carriage is packed and my horses are well fed. I walk around giving my thanks and affections to those standing out front to see me off. I come to Finnick last who takes me into a hug. I hear his whisper.

"I think I am in love with Annie." I can't help but laugh out loud.

"I know.", I whisper back as I gaze over his shoulder, my eyes meeting Annie's. She smiles sadly. "Promise to take care of her."

"With my life Peeta, with my life."

With my farwell's bidded, I climb onto the carriage grab the reins, waving my hat before placing it on my disheveled hair. With a twitch of the wrist the horses move and I begin the trek back to Boston, back home.

I arrived in Boston the following evening. I hadn't bothered to stay anywhere on the way now that I was alone, sleeping a couple of hours in my carriage. When I arrive the streets seem particularly quiet for Boston. I room at an inn near the harbor. Upon mentioning to the innkeeper, a large man named Brutus, that I was looking for work, he told me to head to Griffin's Wharf the next day and ask for a fellow by the name of Hawthorne.

I fell into a fitful sleep that night, I don't know if it was nerves or sheer excitement that kept me tossing and turning, when I finally did find a moment of sleep I dreamt of her.

_Her hands are on my face as she hovers over my form, straddling me at my waist. The sapphires in her eyes glisten and her lips turn up in that shy smile that is quintessentially her. She leans over and her lips meet mine. My hands unconsciously move up and down her sides, gliding over the curves of her body. She pulls away from me, and I hear a whisper of my name. It is like she is praying to me. _

"Delly." I breathe back, but before my voice could carry to her ears she is gone. I groan at the loss, and what the dream has done to me. I look out the small window to my right. It overlooks Boston Harbor. In the horizon I can see the first rays of light crawling their way out of the ocean. I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment just to capture her face again, before getting out of bed.

After grabbing a muffin made by the innkeeper's wife, I make my way to the docks. Keeping an eye out for any mention of Griffin's Wharf. The morning had not yet truly started and the light was still new, but it was already exceptionally warm and the streets near the docks were already bustling.

I finally catch a glimpse of a sign indicating I am in the right place. I see a dark skinned man about my age and height walking down a plank placed between the dock and the side of a ship. The man carries a large parcel and from the sweat on his brow and the concentrated look on his face I assume it to be heavy. I let the man place the parcel down before approaching him.

"Excuse me sir?" The man turns to me silently, a confused look on his face. "Can you tell me where I might find a Mr. Hawthorne." Apparently my question is found to be amusing because the man simply chuckles and points to another man behind him. The gentleman he gestures towards has very short black hair. He is at least a head taller than me, but just as broad. He is overseeing two other men unloading the same ship using a different plank.

"Mr Hawthorne.", I approach. He turns to face me quickly. Cocking an eyebrow as his steel eyes meet mine.

"Yeah, who's asking?", his tone is impatient

"The name's Mellark sir, I was pointed in this direction hoping I may be able to find work with you."

"Is that so?" The man puts his hands on his hips. His eyes move up and down my person, scrutinizing every inch. "We don't get many of your kind here."

"What kind is that sir?" He snorts at my question

"A pretty boy _Mister_ Mellark." He begins sizing me up again, his face alive with amusement. I feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment and mentally scold myself for dressing so well off. Ironically these are the only clothes I have. _I will have to remedy that soon._

"Looks can be deceiving Mr. Hawthorne, I am strong, a hard worker and a fast learner." The man no more than two to three years my senior continues to gawk at me in amusement. His mouth obviously holding back a chuckle. I inwardly sigh and am about to give up and walk away with my tail between my legs, knowing I am getting nowhere, when I am shoved backwards. A British soldier pushes between the man and I without even a slight acknowledgment. I find myself glaring at the soldier as he nonchalantly walks off down the dock.

Everytime I see a British soldier I can't help but think of my father and the talks we would have about not having our fair say in the government. How we were being treated like children, held accountable for our wrongs, yet not being allowed to grow up. I realize I have been glaring at the soldier for an inappropriate amount of time. I quickly look back to Mr. Hawthorne. I am surprised to find that his face no longer harbors its earlier amusement, but instead he regards me curiously, his head cocked to one side.

"Your name's Mellark you said?"

"Yes sir, Peeta Mellark."

"Well Peeta,", his hand lifts to rub his chin, "I've decided I will indeed need another set of hands around here, so the job is yours under two conditions." I give him a silent nod urging him to continue. "One, you need to change out of those clothes." He smirks at my outfit. "I think I have an extra set of clothes in the supply building up there, and two, you cannot call me Sir or Mr. Hawthorne ever again, understand?" I nod again, and he gives me a warm smile, "The name's Gale." He puts his hand out to me and I grasp it for a strong handshake. "Welcome to the docks."

Gale does indeed find me an extra set of appropriate clothes and I am put to work. The work is hard, but I am more than capable. Not that I would let Gale know if I wasn't, especially since "Pretty Boy" seems to be his pet name for me. There is something so satisfying about working with my hands. Unloading and loading the ships reminds me of working in the bakery, bringing 100 pound sacks of flour up and down from the attic. Gale introduces me to the rest of the crew. I learn the dark skinned man I had spoken to earlier goes by the name Thresh Attucks, a runaway slave trying to make a life for himself and his wife Rue. I also learned that the quiet gentlemen was also one of Gale's best friends.

Gale is the head of this specific dock crew. It is his job to keep us in line and negotiate and distribute our pay. He was good at his job, tough but also genuinely concerned for the men that worked under him. When it was revealed that I had no food for the midday break he was more than willing to share with me, noting he_ couldn't have the Pretty Boy fainting on his first day. _I could tell it was more than that when he gave me an equal portion of his goose, bread and berries.

Towards the end of the work day Gale and I were quietly unloading a ship called _The Mockingjay. _The ship contained spices and herbs of a wide variety. I hear Gale clear his throat in my direction, I look up to catch his eye.

"So where are you living?", he asks

"I just got into town last night. Currently I'm staying at an inn up the street." My answer seems to put Gale into deep thought. He begins rubbing his chin again.

"Do you have any family in this area?", he looks at me thoughtfully.

"No.", I shake my head and look down. "My father died about half a year ago, and my mother... well... no... no family." I look up at Gale to find a look of resolve in his eyes.

"Well you happen to be in luck Pretty Boy, because you are coming home with me to have dinner with my family." He gives me a warm smile, and I can't help but smile back. I nod my acceptance to his offer.

About an hour later we are walking through the streets of Boston. I didn't think to ask where he lived, but I am enjoying walking the lively streets. We are about to walk past a row of merchant shops when Gale stops abruptly at my side. He is staring down the street. I squint my eyes trying to see what he could be looking at in the mass of people walking in every direction, but can't seem to pinpoint where his gaze falls. Suddenly he looks to me and groans in frustration.

"Can you try not to be a Pretty Boy for a few moments please?" I look up at him and shrug not understanding what he is talking about. He groans at me again, rolling his eyes. "Pull down your hair over your face, and keep your head down, and whatever you do don't be charming." I can't help the bubbling confused laughter that escapes my lips. Gale gives me a pointed look and I quickly comply to his requests. I feel foolish, but Gale seems satisfied by my efforts and we begin walking again.

Just moments later Gale's pace slows. My eyes peer through curly bangs to see a lovely young woman walking our way. She is blond, with bright blue eyes, curvy in all the right places. An absolute beauty.

"Good evening, Miss Undersee.", Gale says with a small bow, his cap removed from his head.

"Good evening, Mr. Hawthorne.", she returns with a slight smirk. She pays no attention to me.

Once we are a good enough distance away, I raise my head and flip my hair back again. I look up at Gale who seems to have a lost look on his face. I clear my throat.

"Well she was beautiful." This seems to snap Gale out of his reverie as he looks at me seemingly trying to dissect my words. after a moment he sighs out loud.

"Margret is the most beautiful girl in all of Massachusetts Bay, and most likely all of the world, and when I save up enough I'm going to ask her to marry me." I can't help but smile at his admission.

"Well good for you, Gale.", I pat him gruffly on the back of his shoulder. He looks down at me and grins, after a moment he cocks his head at me.

"Do you have a girl from where you're from?"

"I did.", my words come out wistfully, "But.. she moved... she moved to Nova Scotia with her family."

"Ahh, a Tory." I wince at the semi-derogatory term for loyalists. Not because I don't disagree with the ideals of loyalists, but because I don't like Delly perceived in any sort of negative light. She was after all to be my future wife. I can't do anything but sullenly nod at Gale's observation. he returns the pat on my shoulder as we continue.

The house we stop at is a modest two story dusty rose colored house, with a small sign labeled _Apothecary_. I notice the shades are pulled in the front windows as Gale directs me towards the back of the house. We walk through a backdoor and immediately head upstairs to the second floor. Gale leads me into a small eat-in kitchen area.

"I'm home." Gale bellows into the house from in front of me. He steps aside to let me move to his left side. From a sitting area straight ahead of us a slight woman who looks to be in her forties appears with pale eyes and almost white blond hair which is hanging freely under a bonnet. She is trailed by a younger girl who looks to be an exact replica of the older woman.

"Glad to have you home, Gale." Her smile is loving and kind. The small girl sprints up to Gale wrapping her tiny arms around his waist, hugging tightly. Gale immediately reciprocates

"Hi Gale.", she speaks enthusiastically.

"Hi Prim.", he whispers back. Suddenly both blonds look to me with curiosity.

"Aunt Lily, Primrose, this is Peeta Mellark. He just started with my crew today, staying at an inn near the docks. He's got no family around here, so since I know how much you like strays, I figured I would invite him to dinner." As if it was planned a scruffy orange cat jumps up onto the wooden table in front of me, his yellow eyes menacingly staring in my direction. I almost jump at the cat's sudden appearance, having never seen a cat who came indoors before. The only cats I had ever come across were barn cats on my family's estate.

"Mr. Mellark.", Lily says before both blonds curtsy in unison, "It is a pleasure to meet you, welcome to our home."

"Thank you so much Mrs... "

"Everdeen.", she finished.

"Mrs. Everdeen, thank you for having me in your home on such short notice. I do hope my presence does not inconvenience you in anyway."

"Not at all, Mr. Mellark."

"Peeta, please."

"Peeta.", she smiles graciously. "We enjoy the company."

"I'm Prim.", the smaller blond stands in front of me with a sparkling smile on her face. I can't help but smile back.

"Hello Prim."

"And this is Buttercup.", she gestures to the cat on the table. I nod to the cat, only to have him hiss back. Prim giggles at the interaction. "Be nice Buttercup.", she scolds before smiling apologetically at me.

"Hey where's...?", Gale's question is cut off by his own loud chuckle. I look up to see him shaking his head at something. I then hear a gasp come from Mrs. Everdeen.

"Katniss!", she wails. "We have company!" My gaze finally settles on who is causing the upset. A slender young woman with long loose hanging hair, the color of a moonless night. Her skin is a light olive like Gale's. Her eyes are similar to Gale's as well, but while his are a straight steel, her's are more like the color of the sky before a storm, smokey gray over a canvas of blue. They are stunning. I find myself staring into those eyes, while hers widen while looking into mine.

She is the first to look away, and I feel a subtle heat in my cheeks. It is at this point I observe the rest of the woman. I am shocked to see that she is wearing an outfit similar to what Gale and I are wearing. I assume the clothes are in fact Gale's as she is swimming in the shirt and her trousers are rolled up at the bottom, yet still fall around her ankles, her feet, I then notice, are bare. I have never seen a woman dress like that in my entire life.

"Katniss.", Mrs. Everdeen hisses, "You go change immediately, before you offend our guest." I start to shake my head to let her know that it is fine.

"But Mother, this is much more comfortable, and it is not like our guest is dressed any differently."

"Katniss.", the word is a warning. I watch as the young woman visibly deflates. She immediately turns on her heel and huffs before storming off from whence she came. Once she is out of sight I realize that she seems to have taken all the air in the room with her.

Mrs. Everdeen looks mortified, while a blushing Prim giggles next to Gale. Gale is still chuckling as he leans down to my ear.

"And that, Pretty Boy,", he whispers, "is my cousin Katniss."

* * *

**Your fun fact this week is also kind of a spoiler so I'm not posting it here, but for those who are interested see if you can find out why Thresh has the last name he has... Feel free to PM me if you find out...**

**Also... What is the most effective way to avoid a love triangle... Yup that's right... Make him her _actual_ cousin**

**Thanks for reading**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you to everyone who reviewed, followed and favorited this story... You are simply the BEST!**

**Today I want to plug Liberty Sue's story 'Mine' - It is an emotional roller coaster of amazingness!**

**I don't own the Hunger Games, but I do think Suzanne Collins is a genius!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**August 1769**

Once Katniss is out of sight, Mrs. Everdeen and Prim begin setting the table for dinner. In all the excitement, I hadn't noticed the enticing aroma coming from their wood stove. The smell alone makes my stomach grumble. When I ask if I can help in anyway I am waved off by both mother and daughter.

Gale leads me into the sitting room across the way. He lights a lamp and sits unceremoniously into an old chair. I wonder to myself if others will be joining us for dinner. I have yet to meet anyone else with the last name Hawthorne, or Mrs. Everdeen's husband. I almost slip and ask Gale right there, but manage to bite my tongue before I start an awkward conversation, especially since they have all been so kind to me. Gale and I sit in comfortable silence, and I relish the chance to sit down for the first time since our midday break, the fatigue in my muscles is apparent.

Soon enough, we are ushered back into the kitchen where the table has been set and bowls of what smells like seafood stew are placed at each setting, along with filled water cups. Bread is placed at the center of the table, next to a carafe of wine.

"Please sit, Peeta.", Mrs. Everdeen gestures to a chair. I move to sit down while everyone else follows suit. Katniss has not made her way back to the table and I can't help but flick my eyes to the hallway she fled down. Out of the corner of my eye I see Gale reach for the bread, but I can't bring myself to bury my spoon into my stew until she comes back, no matter how much my stomach hurts. Both Prim and Mrs. Everdeen seem to agree with my sentiment, as I see Mrs. Everdeen hold back a holler as she also glances down the hall. I mentally urge the strange young woman to appear before I starve to death.

As if she meant to answer my prayers, Katniss walks forcefully back into the the room and sits with a thump in her chair at the table. Her hair is now in a braid, free from any sort of bonnet, Her dress is red and has a gold colored lace trim at the neck. I can't help but think to myself that although this is what I am used to seeing on a woman, it does not seem to suit her.

Katniss has just finished placing her napkin in her lap and has picked up her spoon, when she seems to freeze momentarily before slowly lifting her gaze up to meet mine. When our eyes meet, she cocks an eyebrow curiously at me, and I can't help the audible breath that escapes my lips brought on by my embarrassment of being caught staring. Gale must notice the exchange, because I hear him clear his throat.

"Katniss, this is Peeta Mellark, He's new to the docks and the area."

"It's a pleasure to meet you Katniss.", I say nodding towards her while willing my voice to to stay steady and my cheeks to stop burning.

"Pleasure is all mine, Mr Mellark.", she answers with not a trace of sincerity in her voice. Her eyes are guarded and her mouth pulls into the starts of a scowl.

"Peeta. Please call me Peeta." I mentally beg myself to stop talking, and just eat the intoxicating stew stationed below my nose.

"Peeta." She nods to me in a way that makes me think we have just engaged in a gentlemen's agreement.

I look away as quickly as my eyes can and finally begin to eat. I am barely able to hold back a moan when the first spoonful of stew hits my tongue. Instead, I indulge myself by closing my eyes and taking in a deep breath through my nose. I open my eyes just enough to see Prim looking at me in amusement. I can't help but wonder how many times one could embarrass themselves during a single meal. I slowly turn to Mrs. Everdeen who has a kind smile on her face.

"This is excellent Mrs. Everdeen, truly the best seafood stew I have ever had." _Sorry Sae_. Mrs. Everdeen's smile widens and I can almost see a slight blush at her cheeks.

"Thank you Peeta, that is very kind of you." Determined not to do anything awkward for the remainder of the meal I quickly go back to my stew, grabbing a slice of bread.

"Where are you from Peeta?" The sweet voice of Prim fills the silence.

"Hush Primrose, let Peeta eat his food.", Mrs. Everdeen warns. I put up a hand to let her know it doesn't bother me to answer. Prim gets a giddy look on her face while she waits for me to speak.

"Actually, not far from here. I'm from Braintree." Prim nods slowly at my answer.

"That's where John Adams is from.", Gale adds. I nod in agreement. Prim seems to understand and her mouth forms an 'Oh'.

"Why did you leave?" Katniss' voice startles me, when I turn to look, her stormy eyes have a determined gaze to them.

"Umm well... My father died about 7 months ago, and my mother decided she wanted to move closer to her family, but I chose not to go." I drop my eyes to my nearly empty bowl, swirling my remaining stew with my spoon.

"Where did your mother go?" I can hear the emotion in Prim's voice and I realize she thinks I am upset that my mother left.

I clear my throat before answering, "Nova Scotia."

"Ah.", Gale says. I turn to see him nodding his head in understanding. I look to Prim seeing once again that she doesn't understand the implications of what I've said. I am reluctant to fill in the blanks. "His family is Torres, Prim.", Gale says beating me to the punch. I begin to feel slightly defensive.

"Well, not my whole family, my mother and brother yes, but not my... father.", the last word comes out as a bereaved whisper. I have managed to quiet the room, my speech professor would be proud.

I take a moment before shaking my head of thoughts of my father, and lift my head only to meet eyes with Katniss once again. This time though the hardness that I saw there before seems to have vanished and instead it has been replaced by something akin to sympathy. The slightest smile graces her lips.

The room is quiet and the tension thick and I yearn for something to end it, but not knowing what to do to help.

" So Catnip?", I hear Gale ask, silently thanking him for coming to my rescue once again. I'm not entirely sure who he is speaking to until I see him and Katniss looking at eachother. Katniss nods for him to continue. "I hope you don't expect to find a husband dressing in my clothes." I hear 's spoon hit her bowl and when I look to her she is glaring at Gale. In turn, Gale has lowered his head in feigned shame, a smirk is apparent on his face. When I finally do look to Katniss her face resembles the color of a tomato and her eyes are dangerously narrowed.

"Here we go again.", I hear Prim mumble with a sigh.

"Well then it's a good thing that I. Am. Not. Getting. Married.", her voice is high pitched and imposing. "Do you have any idea, Gale, what happens to a woman once she is married?" I can't help the inadvertent blush, as I try to tell myself that is not what she is talking about. Gale chooses to stay silent, not engaging, but Katniss rails on. "A woman loses her identity. If I were to marry a man and we were to own land, and he died, that land could be taken away from me and given to _his_ closest living male relative. I could lose my husband and my home." She takes a deep breath, but it is obviously not meant to calm, just to refresh, as she continues her rant, "Before a woman gets married _she _is considered a _whole _person, yet once married she just becomes part of the man. _Why, _Gale, would I voluntarily do something that would make me _less _of a person?"

I can't help but let my jaw slack open, and my eyes grow wide as I stare. She's not wrong. Woman are not treated fairly in our society, and in a way it is refreshing to see a woman speak against it. Her passion reminds me of my father. Yet I have never in all my years heard someone make marriage sound so unappealing. Most women were aware of where they stood in society, but that did not take away from the fairy tale that they would create involving their wedding day. Katniss looks up at me only to catch me staring again. _What is wrong with you, Peeta?_

"Plus,", she continues though the fire in her words seems to be abating, "I am only seventeen. Why should I think of marriage now anyways?" Her statement confuses me, at her age most girls I knew at least have an idea of who they are to marry. Delly and I were betrothed at 15. At fifteen I knew who I was spending the rest of my life with, yet Katniss thinks herself too young to even entertain the idea. I want to scoff at her, but stop myself when I think that maybe she's right. Even though I was engaged at fifteen, my life seemingly planned for me, now that I am nineteen I haven't a clue what woman I will settle down with. Katniss begins to speak again, her fire seemingly reignited and I find myself anxiously awaiting what other parts of society she finds to be distasteful. Her mother however has other ideas.

"Enough Katniss!" Her voice is firm, her eyes narrow at her eldest daughter. This however seems to have the opposite effect Mrs. Everdeen was hoping for as Katniss seems to catch her second wind.

"Oh, so I cannot speak what is on my mind, but we must endure Gale's rants about instigating conflict for the sake of rich men not wanting to pay their taxes." Katniss snorts a moment before Gale's fist hits the table.

"Dammit Katniss, you know it is not..." I can't help but cut him off.

"Miss Everdeen.". She looks up at me. "Pardon my intrusion, but the issue is not merely about _rich men not wanting to pay their taxes _as you put it, but about not being represented in the current government as it stands. We just want to be looked at as equal."

"Equal!? Equal!?", she screeches in my direction. "You speak to me of equality when you live in a society where women are considered second class citizens and people of color are made to be slaves. Your _equality _is a sham Mr. Mellark."

I don't know what it is about this girl with the stormy eyes, but she unhinges me. She attacks my equilibrium and I find it hard to think with her eyes on me. I manage to take a calming breath and scold myself for being so flustered, after all I was taught in school how to deal with situations like this, and people like her. I make sure my face remains impassive, as I stare back at her for a long moment, Professor Heavensbee calls it "courtroom quiet". Before I finally speak I give her a small neutral smile.

"Well Miss Everdeen you are right, equality in our current position is unattainable, which makes me suspect that you of all people would want to change the way our current government functions." I continue to keep my face without emotion and hope she cannot hear my drumming heart. She looks at me, confusion in her eyes. She opens her mouth to speak, but closes it again just as quickly. For a moment she just sits and stares at me, seemingly dumbfounded. Then without warning she stands, tossing her napkin to the table before storming out of the room for the second time tonight.

The room is uncomfortably quiet for a long time, and I fear that I have overstayed my welcome. _Oh well at least the stew was good. _Then I hear Gale clear his throat.

"How did you do that?", he asks me with all sincerity

"How did I do what?" I stare at him confused

"Get Catnip to shut her mouth. I have never seen anyone prematurely end one of her rants. She stops when she's tired and not a moment before." He seems thoroughly amazed.

"Ah, I suppose it might have been the two years I spent studying law. I took a whole class that was nothing but learning how to win arguments." I shrug. Gale nods in understanding. Prim gives me a small smile before excusing herself and heading down the same hall Katniss ran down. I wonder if she is going to check on her. I turn to Mrs. Everdeen, wanting to apologize for my uncouth behavior, but the smile that is present on her face tells me there is no need. She stares at me appraisingly, before starting to speak.

"Peeta I see no reason for you to have to go all the way back to the inn when you can just stay here tonight." My eyes widen in shock, not being able to comprehend the reason behind the invitation.

"Oh Mrs. Everdeen, I couldn't poss..." She waves me off.

"In fact I don't feel good about the idea of you living alone, especially when you have just lost your family. I think it would be best if you stayed here until you are more established at least."

"Mrs. Everdeen that is a very generous offer but..."

"I have two rooms downstairs in the apothecary that I use for sick rooms, but I have never needed more than one, you can have the other one for as long a you like, its not much but it's better than you spending money at an inn." She smiles at me with, what I assume to be, motherly affection. it's a look that Sae gives me frequently, though I had never seen it on my own mother.

Her offer has left me speechless. I just moments ago drove her daughter out of the room, yet this woman is, with a full house already, offering me a place to stay."

"I... Um..."

"It will be nice to have another man around the house." Her smile stays just as bright and caring. Gale slaps me on the back.

"Of course Peeta will stay.", his voice is jovial, and I can't help but smile.

"Thank you, Mrs. Everdeen.", I manage to finally start speaking again. "That is an incredible offer, and I am very grateful to you and your family." She nods her head at me to finalize the agreement, and begins picking up the table. When I attempt to stand her hand comes in contact with my shoulder keeping me firmly planted in my chair. I turn to Gale, and he just shrugs and smiles.

"Come on Pretty Boy, let me show you where you will be sleeping." Gale brings me down to the first floor, and leads me to a room at the back right of the apothecary. The room itself has a small window, a bed big enough for a single person positioned underneath the window and a small wooden bedside table with a lantern placed on top of it. Over in the corner, just right of the door, there is a small wooden table with a chair, and over to the left a medium sized wooden chest. As I look around I realize it is all I could ever need. Right now the bed looks like heaven.

"I'll bring down some more clothes for you to wear tomorrow. You can wash up upstairs, down the hall behind the kitchen, second door to the right. The first door on the right is mine if you need anything.", he says while lighting the lantern on the table. "Come upstairs for food in the morning, and we can head down to the docks together. I can help you collect your items from the inn tomorrow after work if you want."

"Thank you Gale. Really, this is amazing, thank you."

"Ah, don't mention it, us patriots need to stick together." His hand claps the side of my arm and with that he turns and leaves. I can hear his footsteps on the stairs above my head. I undress to my underclothes and climb into the bed. The room is cooler than it was upstairs and I find it is easy to get comfortable. I realize I do feel bad about the encounter with Katniss earlier, I feel like I should at least apologize to her, even if the rest of the family found the whole event comedic. I note that I will have plenty of time to make amends now that I live with her. _I wonder how she will feel about that? _With that thought I blow out the lantern, let my body relax completely into the bed, and am soon drifting off to sleep. I expect to dream of Delly like I have done almost every night since that last kiss, but instead I dream of smoky colored eyes, and dark braided hair.

I wake the next morning, my stomach feels like it is in knots, I am not sure why I dreamed the things I did last night, but I decide to blame it on the new environment. The sun hasn't even begun to light the earth, but I am in need of something to drink. I rise from the bed, stumbling in the dark, not able to find a way to light my lantern. For whatever reason I manage to make it to the stairs without falling or breaking anything around me.

As I ascend the stairs that lead to the Everdeen's kitchen, I see the soft shadows of bouncing light crawling from under the door, indicating that someone is already up. I open the door cautiously peering in, and see the soft silhouette of Katniss. My breathing inexplicably picks up, as my heart starts drumming quickly in my chest, just at the sight of her. I nervously clear my throat to alert her of my presence. She doesn't seem startled that I am there, and only half looks over her shoulder in my direction.

"Hello Peeta, would you care for a cup of tea?", her voice seems calm. She takes a sip from the tea cup sitting in front of her.

"Umm that would be great, thank you." I make my way to the table as she rises to grab the kettle from the fire. I notice that she is wearing a dark green dress, but it is covered with a full length jacket that appears to be made of some sort of hide. As my eyes move down her body I catch what looks like boots donning her feet, then I see the gun propped up against the table. When she turns back around with my tea, she notices my lingering gaze at the gun and looks to me with a smirk on her face.

"So, what are your plans today?", I ask a little too curiously, but I need to know what the boots and jacket and gun are about.

"I'm hunting today.", she says like this is what young women do everyday. Why am I not surprised?

"Oh...", picking my words cautiously I do not want to get into an argument this early in the morning, especially since I have yet to apologize for the first, "Where do you go... hunting?" My caution seems to amuse her as she chuckles softly.

"There is a patch of woods near Bunker Hill. I go there if I am by myself, because the journey is shorter and my mother worries. However, if Gale is with me we go much farther out. Sometimes as far as Salem Village."

"So Gale taught you to hunt?" She nods at me and takes another sip of her tea. We drink in relatively comfortable silence, however I can still feel all the unresolved issues between us.

"Katniss, I am sorry about last night. It was wrong of me to engage you like that." She looks at me with surprise then relief. she shakes her head at me.

"Oh no Peeta, I am the one who should be apologizing. I was completely out of line. I shouldn't have acted that way in front of someone I didn't even know. I am frankly surprised you decided to stay.", she pauses and sighs, "I... I get something in my head, and I can't get it out without yelling. I am no good at words unless I'm angry." She looks down seemingly embarrassed, her cheeks becoming a deep pink in color. I hope my smile shows that she does not need to be ashamed.

"If it is a comfort to you at all, I did agree with most of what you said." She smiles wide at me for the first time, her stormy eyes lit up.

"It does actually." She keeps her eyes attached to mine for a while, before she looks down at her tea, her smile still present.

"So,", I begin, "how long has Gale lived with your family?" She raises her head to look at me, this time her smile has turned into an amused smirk. I know what shes thinking, because I'm thinking it too._ My curiosity is going to get me into trouble._

"He has lived here since he was eight. Gale's father had married my father's sister. Our father's were both sailors. They used to go out for months at a time, and one of those times they didn't come back. I was four, my mother was pregnant with Prim. That same year Gale's mother Hazelle and younger brother Rory became sick with fever and died soon afterwards. My mother took Gale in, and raised the three of us all by herself, while working as an apothecary. Of course she never made as much as our father did, especially since some people in the Bay won't go to her simply because she's a woman.". Katniss pauses, her eyes narrow, but then she quickly softens, "But she did good by all three of us."

I can't help but feel amazed by the story. Through all the tragedy Mrs. Everdeen persevered for the sake of her children and her orphaned nephew.

"Your mother is an incredible person.", I can't help but gush. Katniss gives me another genuine smile.

"She's the strongest person I know." Her eyes are hazy and reminiscent. She sighs out loud before abruptly standing up. I stand as well not sure what else to do. "Sit.", she insists, "I have to get going, it's getting late." I look out the back window but still see very little in the way of sun.

I don't understand why I feel so anxious about Katniss hunting, I know she has done this before. Hunting for food is common in Massachusetts, but I just feel the overwhelming urge to go with her, and protect her from harm. I can only imagine what Katniss would say if she heard these thoughts, I am sure it would involve screaming. I have to say something though.

"You... you will be careful... won't you?" I try to make my face look at ease, but I know I am failing. She smiles kindly at my sentiment.

"Yes Peeta, I will." Then she is out the door.

About two hours later Gale and I have cleaned and dressed, been fed, given packed midday meals , and are on our way to the docks. At first we walk in comfortable silence.

"I heard you and Katniss talking this morning.", Gale's voice breaks through the quiet. "Glad to hear she has decided not to hold a grudge." I can't help but laugh.

"Actually, she apologized to me.", a cocky smirk developing on my face.

"Huh?", Gale grunts at me. "Never thought I'd see the day." He shakes his head in amazement.

"Gale?"

"Hm?"

"How does Katniss know so much about property laws and such, did she have any formal schooling?"

"Nah.", Gale shakes his head. "You know Darius from the docks?" I nod thinking of the friendly redhead I met the day before. "Well, he fancies Katniss. Don't ask me why, God help him. When he goes off on the ships he always comes home with books and newspapers for her. She loves to read." Gale ends with a shrug. For some reason the information I've just heard makes my stomach twist, agitation bubbling up from it.

"And does she... fancy him back?", I say willing my voice to stay steady. Gale turns to me stopping mid-step, his eyes seem to take me in curiously. After a moment he shakes his head and smacks me on the back hard, the suddenness of it making me wince.

"Not that I know of Pretty Boy." He laughs out loud. "Not that I know of." For one reason or another his answer pleases me.

* * *

**Who else thinks Mrs. Everdeen is up to something?... hmm because I do...**

**Speaking of Mrs. Everdeen, I know, I know, she is incredibly OOC, but frankly I was so sick of her being weak and useless, making Katniss pick up all the slack...its infuriating...With that said I have kinda made your fact of the day explain the logic behind her OOCness**

**Your Fun Fact is a Quote from the musical '1776' which don't laugh is my favorite musical w/ 'Newsies' of course (Yes I'm a dork...Whatever!)**

**Anyhoo this quote comes from a scene where John and Abigail Adams are discussing the fact that John had Thomas Jefferson's wife sent from Virginia to Pennsylvania so that she could attempt to put Jefferson in the 'mood' to write the Declaration of Independence... **

**So here it is the quote that explains why Mrs. Everdeen can be strong in my story...hee hee!**

**John**: Please come to Philadelphia, please come

**Abigail**: Oh thank you John I do want to ,but you do know now it's not possible the children have the measles

**John**: So you wrote, Tom and little Abby

**Abigail**: Only now it's Quincy and Charles, and it appears the farm here in Braintree is failing, the chickens and the geese have all died, the apples never survived the late frost... How do you suppose she managed to get away?

**John**: Oh well the winters are softer in Virginia

**Abigail**:...and their woman, John

**John**: Fit for Virginians madam, but pale, puny things next to New England girls

**Abigail**: John, (chuckles) I thank you for that.

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi Everyone! Thanks to all who followed, favorited and reviewed... You are so GREAT!**

**I actually researched cinnamon extensively before writing this chapter...haha... You will see why!**

**Today I want to plug Monroeslittle's Civil war AU 'Knot Your Fingers Through Mine' One of my reviewers compared this story to it, and that is such a compliment because the story is amazing - Her Peeta makes one of the most amazing transformations its incredible! So check it out if you like historical AU's.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**August 1769**

Today's shipments seem larger than usual, and the presence of British soldiers seems to have increased. Thresh tells me that he overheard talks of smugglers and the extra soldiers are here to prevent tax evasion. The whole situation makes me uneasy. Gale has been on edge all morning. It started when he caught sight of the soldiers, one soldier in particular; a tall, blond, young captain with dark eyes. Gale has been glaring more than working, and I am worried about his current state of mind.

As Darius and I finish unloading a shipment of spices, he takes a cloth from his pocket, wipes his forehead, leans up against a large crate then looks to me, giving me a small smile. I return the smile, thinking that this morning's tension is behind us. When Gale and I arrived at the docks, Gale had mentioned to the guys that I was staying at his house. Darius had looked completely crestfallen at this news.

_ "Ah so you've met Miss Everdeen.", a man by the name of Boggs says with a chuckle. I don't know if it's the amusement in his voice or the mere mention of Katniss that's to blame for the smile that invades my face. I glance nervously at Darius who no longer appears sullen, but instead looks like he wants to break me in half. Boggs sees the same expression I do and firmly slaps Darius on the back before bursting into full laughter. "Oh Darius, don't look poorly towards the boy. He can't help that he is better looking than you. Otherwise, we'd be calling you 'Pretty Boy'." With that all the men around us burst into laughter, even Gale who up until this point had been preoccupied with that blond soldier. All the men except myself and Darius, who is still glaring at me. I know I have to defuse this situation somehow otherwise it's going to be real uncomfortable working with him._

_ "I don't know.", I offer, "I don't think she fancies... 'Pretty Boys'" I can't help but cringe at the term. "Not five minutes after meeting her she was screaming at me." I shake my head. I could see Darius fighting a smile as the corners of his lips twitch. I glance up to see Gale looking my way, he gives me a knowing nod with a smirk on his face. The rest of the men start 'ooo'ing' and laughing even harder. When I look back to Darius his face has softened considerably._

_ "She sure gets heated faster than any woman I've ever met.", Darius says while rubbing the back of his neck with one of his hands, a small smile on his face, his eyes are distant. _

_ "That's for sure.", Gale chimes in. The rest of the men silently nod in agreement before starting the days work. _

Gale approaches Darius and I, who are still leaning on our newly unloaded crates. His eyes quickly flit around the shipment, pretending he is here to inspect it, but when his eyes move off into the distance I know he is only here to get a better view of the captain. When I myself follow his gaze I come to the unfortunate realization that the blond captain is now glaring back at Gale.

"Come on Gale.", I tap his arm, "Let's go eat." Gale doesn't budge though and now the captain and three other soldiers are heading our way. _Damnit! _

"Do we have a problem here?" The captain's dark eyes are narrow, his face unforgiving as he glares at Gale.

"Yeah, I do." Although the defiance in Gale's voice is admirable, I have to hold back the urge to smack him in the face until he snaps out of whatever is going on in his head.

"Oh? And what would that be?" The captain and his entourage close the distance between them and Gale, a deadly smirk playing on his face. To Gale's credit he doesn't move a muscle, keeping his eyes trained on his target, a similar smirk forming on his own mouth.

"I was just thinking that _you_ and the rest of the _lobsters_ should jump back into the ocean where you belong." I can't help the exasperated sigh that leaves my mouth at Gale's words. Suddenly the captain's hands shoot out, grabbing Gale by the collar, and pulling him closer.

"What did you say?" The soldiers behind the captain are closing in. Before my brain has a chance to think things through, my own hand has shot out and I am now grabbing the captain by the front of his uniform.

"That is enough!", I say when he turns towards me. I am completely awestruck by how steady my voice is, but it doesn't change the word floating through my head; _Fuck! _Now I am the one surrounded by soldiers. Two of them flank me and grab my shoulders, hoisting me away from the captain. They heave me, and I am only weightless for a moment, before I come crashing down onto what I assume is a crate, or was, now it seems to be a thick brownish-red cloud. I begin coughing as the thick scent of cinnamon assaults my senses, making it hard to breathe. When I finally manage to open my eyes, there is a musket shoved in my face.

"Captain Cato?", a voice calls from down the dock. I cough a little more before turning my vision towards the captain. He has let go of Gale, and the musket has been pulled away from my face. Captain Cato turns towards the voice. He seems to quickly regain his composure as he speaks.

"Ah, Mr. Abernathy, sir. How are you today?" The limited vision I have of the encounter is blocked off when a hand is offered. I look up to see it belongs to Darius, a smirk on his face. I grab it and let him hoist me up. When I am standing next to him he squints as he tries to fan the cinnamon dust that is now blowing off of me into his face. I nod to him in appreciation as I turn to the conversation in front of me, using my idle hands to dust the spice off of my person.

"I was wondering if I could have a few words with you and your men about an important matter." He eyeballs me, amusement apparent on his face as he speaks to Captain Cato. I must look ridiculous.

I have seen the man before. Haymitch Abernathy. He is a Harvard man and is big into Boston politics. He tends to be outspoken, and rumor at school was that he was secretly creating a rebellion against Great Britain and the crown. However in society he was considered no less than a gentlemen by colonists and soldiers alike. I observe the man, whose attention is completely with Captain Cato now. He is in his late forties, with shoulder length graying blond hair.

Captain Cato quickly complies with Mr. Abernathy's request, and he and his men walk away from us and down the docks. I stand there momentarily stunned. Once I gain control over myself, I start dusting cinnamon out of my hair and clothes. Gale makes his way over to me, a look of gratitude mixed with budding amusement as he takes in my appearance. I want nothing more than to punch him in the face.

"Thanks for that.", he says to me as I continue to dust myself off. His words bring me to a standstill once again. I stare up at him like he's got two heads.

"What was _that_ Gale." I hiss at him. Gale quickly goes from inspecting the wooden planks under his feet, to inspecting the state of his fingernails or anything that isn't me.

"I just don't agree with British occupation.", he mumbles. I suddenly feel a headache coming on. I start pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Gale, I get it, I know what you believe, and you know I believe the same thing, but _what was that_!?", my voice booms towards him, "Who was that captain?" Gale looks up at me, the expression on his face telling me he's been caught. Gale sighs loudly.

"That's Captain Cato. He...he is occupying the Undersee house." _Undersee? Undersee?...Oh. _

"Oh for the love of..." I stuff both hands in my hair, and cast an incredulous gaze in Gale's direction. "You mean to tell me I almost got shot because Cato lives in the same house as your girl?" Gale nods at me, biting his bottom lip to stave off laughter at my expense. I can only shake my head at him dumbfoundedly before we are both laughing hysterically. Gale walks up to me and throws an arm around my shoulders using his other hand to dust some cinnamon off my shirt.

"Think of it this way, at least you also _smell _pretty now too." I break away from Gale and plant a hard punch on his arm. He winces and grabs the assaulted area, mouthing a silent 'ow'. I just laugh as we head back to work.

Apparently standing up to Captain Cato in Gale's defence has earned me a great deal of respect amongst the men in our crew. I have been getting nods of approval and looks of admiration all day. The best part is no one calls me 'Pretty Boy' anymore, instead they have shortened it to 'PB'. I'll take what I can get.

On the walk home, Gale talks nonstop about Margaret Undersee, or to those close to her "Madge". He talks about her hair, and her eyes, her lips, her smile, her laugh, the way her breasts fill out her dress. by the time we were nearing the house I am rubbing my temples to remove the pain caused by the cinnamon I had inhaled earlier and Gale's non-stop chattering.

As we turn down the road that the Everdeens live on, we see a wagon just sitting outside the house, parked at an odd angle. I look to Gale and see the alarm apparent on his face.

"Catnip?", he whispers the name like a question right before he takes off running towards the wagon. Once I put the pieces together I am running right behind him. When we get to the wagon, we find Katniss lying curled up in a ball on the riding bench. Her face is contorted in pain and there is a significant gash on her forehead with a scary amount of dried blood on her face and in her hair. Her dress is torn at several spots, and there are a few rogue pine needles in her now loose braid. I can't help the audible gasp that escapes my mouth.

"Good God Katniss, what happened?", Gale sounds completely panicked. Katniss' eyes flutter open, and the definite emotion present on her face when she sees us is relief, before pain captures hold of her features once again.

"Fell... out of a tree...Pain in my...Ankle, head, back...everywhere.", she groans before unconvincingly chuckling followed by a sob that rips its way from her mouth. "I couldn't get into the house, so i was hoping", another sob escapes, "that someone would find me." I instinctually reach my hand to her face and drag my thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears. My hand moves to cup her cheek, and I continue the movement of my thumb.

"Gale, go get her mother, tell her to meet us downstairs. I'll get Katniss into the house.", I say, my eyes never leaving Katniss' pain filled face. Her eyes have closed again. Gale doesn't respond, but I can hear him running away from us towards the house. "Katniss?", I whisper, "Katniss, can you sit up?" My thumb is still making small circles on her cheek. I can't seem to pull away from the heat that is being produced from this contact. I tell myself that my gesture is comforting her. Katniss groans before opening her eyes, locking them with mine. She makes her nod look painful. I climb into the bed of the wagon so I am standing over her from behind. I lean down and hook my hands at her underarms, then slowly help her to a sitting position. Once she is sitting I hop over to the bench and pick her up with both arms, cradling her into my chest. She hisses with the movement, but once I have her securely in my arms, her head falls to my shoulder as she nuzzles into the crook of my neck. Her breath on my skin begins sending shivers up my whole body, and I have to swallow a gasp that threatens to escape.

I methodically step down as to not cause Katniss anymore pain. Once we are on the ground she wraps her arms around my neck, for extra support I suppose. I make my way to the house as quickly and as carefully as possible, as I reach the door I hear a sound come from Katniss.

"Mmmm" I look down at her to find her eyes closed and a small smile on her face. "You smell like cinnamon." She sighs contently, as a wide smile stretches across my face. _Thank you, Captain Cato._

I walk into the front door of the apothecary to find Gale, Mrs. Everdeen and Prim running around collecting supplies throughout the shop. Mrs. Everdeen looks up at me when the door audibly closes behind me.

"Peeta, bring her to the sick room and lay her on the cot. I'll be there in a moment." I do as I am told and bring Katniss to the room next to mine. I slowly lower her to the cot. Once she is lying on the bed I expect her to pull away from me, but she has not released her arms from my neck. My arms are trapped under her body, our faces are painfully close. Her eyes fly open and we stare at each other for what feels like forever, the storm in her eyes is raging. Her tongue slowly glides against her bottom lip and I feel my eyelids automatically lower as I lean my mouth towards hers aching for just one, small, soft...

"Thank you Peeta.", I hear Mrs. Everdeen behind me. Katniss releases her arms from my neck and quickly turns away to look at the back wall, a slight blush present on her cheeks. I swiftly stand and turn towards the woman behind me. Her face is preoccupied with concern for her daughter and I doubt she catches the burning of my own face. I clear out of the room joining Gale at the threshold of the door, allowing the two healers to descend upon their patient.

Prim grinds a collection of herbs with a mortar and pestle, while Mrs. Everdeen asks Katniss to tell her what happened while hunting today. She lets out an exasperated "Oh Katniss" when she is told the part about the tree. After Katniss retells the events of the day, edited for her mother's ears I'm sure, Gale and I are shooed out of the room so that they can undress Katniss and assess the damage. I try to push away the thoughts that invade my brain at the idea of a naked Katniss.

Gale and I sit against a wall of the apothecary, sipping on rum that Gale collected from upstairs. He doesn't say it, but I can tell he's worried about the girl who is basically his sister. I am fine with the silence, not wanting to admit out loud how worried I am as well. Prim, at one point, slips out of the door and heads upstairs, coming back down a short time later with a nightgown and robe slung over her arm.

Soon after, Mrs. Everdeen and Prim exit the room, closing the door behind them. They have assessed that Katniss has a broken left ankle, a bruised tailbone, and a dislocated right shoulder. The cut on her head will not need to be stitched and has been cleaned so it should heal properly now. The only thing to do for Katniss now is to encourage lots of rest and try to keep her pain down. It is also decided that Katniss will inhabit the other sick room until she is more mobile so that Mrs. Everdeen and Prim can check on her throughout the day, getting her what she needs.

Gale and I eat together upstairs after bringing down food for the Everdeen women who eat behind a closed door. Before I retire to my room for the evening, I am compelled to knock on the door of Katniss' new room. Prim answers, beaming at me when she sees it's me. She opens the door revealing Mrs. Everdeen with a book her hands, sitting beside Katniss who lying in the bed covered in blankets, her head propped up with pillows. Her face and hair have been cleaned of blood and debris. When my eyes meet Katniss' she smiles.

"I...I just wanted to say goodnight, and to let you know if you need anything feel free to wake me." I pull my eyes away from Katniss to look at Mrs. Everdeen who shares the same bright, heartwarming, all consuming smile that Prim has.

"Thank you so much Peeta, you have been such a great help." I smile at her words.

"Ok well... Goodnight." I slowly begin shutting the door.

"Goodnight Peeta." Katniss bursts out, causing Prim to smirk. I nod to Katniss before closing the door fully.

After I have undressed and am lying in my bed, I find sleep evades me. The proximity of Katniss Everdeen to my bed distracts me. I don't know why I am feeling this way. Most of our interactions have been of a hostile nature, yet when I saw her in pain today it tore at me, and I found it hard to think or breathe. I knew I should have followed my instincts and implored her not to go to the woods this morning. I knew it would be dangerous for her. Hunting is not something a young women should be doing, especially by herself. I flinch at my own thoughts, anticipating the the slap across my face Katniss would bestow on me if she knew what I was thinking. Perhaps it would be worth it to know she was safe. Eventually I fall into a troubled sleep.

The next morning Gale and I have a day off from the docks and he plans on showing me around the area. I wanted to pick up supplies for myself and the ingredients to bake a cake for the Everdeen's and Gale for being so kind. I also hope to cheer up a convalescing Katniss. Gale and I are heading down the back steps when I realize I forgot my coins. Gale says he will wait on the steps for me as I run back inside.

I walk down the stairs to the closed shop. Mrs. Everdeen is out delivering a baby. As I approach the room I begin to hear voices. They seem to be coming from the slightly opened door of Katniss' bedroom. I proceed to go about my business when I hear my name trailed by a fit of giggles. _This is so inappropriate _I think to myself when I abandon my current mission and instead sneak closer to the open bedroom to try and get a better listen. I have to move slowly as to not disrupt the usual creaking boards below my feet. At first all I can hear is low mumbling, I maneuver even closer still having a hard time hearing, when I am startled by a shriek that comes from Katniss

"Prim, hush your mouth!" I hear Prim's giggles again.

"So are you denying it then?"

"Yes, I'm denying it. I am not in love with Peeta Mellark.

"Oh Katniss, I saw the way he carried you into the house yesterday."

"I couldn't walk Prim. Did you expect me to float into the house?", Katniss huffs.

"Yes, but then I saw the way you were looking at him when he placed you in the bed."

"Oh Prim, stop this now!"

"Ok Katniss, but at least admit that you find him handsome." There is a long pause, and I inch closer to hear the answer.

"He is quite handsome isn't he?" With that both girls begin giggling, and I am left with a flipping stomach.

"There you are, what's taking so long." I hear Gale sounding slightly annoyed behind me. I hear the giggles cease and I instantly back away. Gale takes in the scene and looks at me curiously before smirking. Prim dashes out of the room suddenly, her face crimson in color.

"Prim.", I say with a tip of my hat before hastily retrieving coins from my room. I quickly head outside not waiting to see if Gale will follow. _Damnit!_

* * *

**No worries, Haymitch will be in this story a lot... just wanted to sneak him in this chapter so you knew he existed and I assume you didn't want Peeta to be shot or arrested or what not. In this story Haymitch will be a hybrid of cannon Haymitch and Sam Adams... Sam Adams was believed by historians to be a major player in the rebellion against the British in Massachusetts, and there is a Beer brand names after him so why wouldn't him and Haymitch meld together in my head... Hee hee**

**A couple of fun facts for you all...**

**1. Lobster - a term for British troops. The term was used in the Boston area**

**2. While researching cinnamon I found this recipe for something called Revolutionary Balls...These, according to a few sources I found, were carried around by the continental army as a food source... So I figured I'd give you the recipe...**

** Revolutionary Balls**

1 c. sugar  
2 eggs  
1 c. milk  
1 pinch salt  
1 tsp. vanilla  
1 big dash nutmeg  
3 c. flour  
2 tsp. baking powder  
Powdered sugar  
Cinnamon sugar

Mix 8 ingredients. Drop by tablespoon in hot fat. While warm, roll in sugar or cinnamon mixture.

**Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hello! - Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed! You are amazing!**

**Sorry this chapter is a bit late, the long and short of it is I am 6 months pregnant and exhausted! Also on that same note, my editing team is me who currently has the energy of a slug, and my husband who is on painkillers for a knee injury... soooo I am sorry if this chapter is a complete mess...**

**This chapter I wanted to plug Twilightcakes - 'Not In Our Favor' - its sort of based off "the Vow" and it is heartbreaking, but wonderful.**

**Also because I haven't done it in a while - I do not own the Hunger Games, but I do think Suzanne Collins is a genius!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Luckily for me, Gale is silent when it comes to the whole eavesdropping-on-the-girls fiasco, however, I find he is more quiet in general, He doesn't seem upset with me, but he definitely seems to be observing me more than usual. I pick up clothing for myself and the supplies for a spice cake, making sure that I purchase plenty of cinnamon since Katniss seems to enjoy its scent and hopefully taste.

When the man behind the counter at the trading post handed me the cinnamon I instinctually lifted it to my nose to take a whiff. It wasn't cinnamon that I smelled, but instead the intoxicating aroma of leather, pine and sunshine filled my nose, a scent combination that belongs to Katniss.

After we finished our purchases, Gale shows me around town. We stop by a tavern near the docks to play cards with Thresh, Darius and a few other gentlemen; just to have Thresh win the rest of the money I had on me, before we head back home. That evening Gale and I move the kitchen table down to the shop so that we can all eat together even if Katniss is confined to her bed. Katniss seems to appreciate the gesture, and apparently is ready to climb the walls with boredom. She seems to be avoiding my gaze,and I can only assume it has to do with the conversation I overheard this morning.

Dinner consists of rabbit stew, made possible by the game Katniss was able to kill before she had her accident. Afterwards we eat cake. Everyone seems impressed by my baking skills. I insist that I am nothing compared to my father, but I find my point a bit deflated when Katniss produces a sensual moan with each bite. When I look to Katniss, her eyes are closed and her mouth is slightly open. Heat seems to explode through my veins and pool in my stomach; I have to look away. I don't think I will ever be able to look at cake the same way again.

We decide that one of us should stay with Katniss throughout the day, for company. We are all willing to do our part. After I agree to help in anyway I can, I glance over at Katniss and find her looking back at me. I manage to hold her eyes for the briefest of seconds before she looks down at her lap, a rosy hue that was not there before appears on her cheeks.

The next day Gale and I arrive early to find that shipments are at an all time low. British troops have confiscated quite a few loads and there isn't much work. Gale is trying to decide who to send home; I volunteer, not wanting any of the other men to lose a days pay. Gale sighs with relief at my offer.

When I get back to the house I walk in through the apothecary entrance, wanting to say hello to both Mrs. Everdeen and Katniss. When I get inside I find Mrs. Everdeen rushing around stuffing vials,cloth, and instruments into a leather sack. The door closing behind me startles her and her head snaps up to look at me.

"Oh Peeta, thank goodness you are here." She places her hands on her hips, taking a few deep breaths. She definitely seems worried and I find the question on my mind spilling out of my mouth.

"What's wrong? Is it...", I am cut off by Mrs. Everdeen shaking her head.

"No.", she says, reading my thoughts. "Katniss is fine, I have a baby to deliver and the mother isn't doing well. I just felt horrible about leaving Katniss alone, not even a day after we talked about _not_ leaving her alone. Would you mind keeping her company for a while? Prim should be home soon." I nod my head at her, even though the idea leaves me uncharacteristically nervous.

"Don't worry Mrs. Everdeen, I'll take care of Katniss." She gives me a wide smile before approaching me, cupping my cheek with her small hand.

"Thank you so much Peeta." She gives me a grateful look before leaving the shop. Once I hear the door close I notice my heart is beating rapidly.

"Get it together Peeta.", I mumble to myself. "It's not like you have any romantic feelings for her. You hardly even know her. She merely needs someone to keep her company until her sister gets home. Sure you overheard her say you were handsome, but there is nothing wrong with that, I mean you think she is beautiful, unnervingly beautiful, with her stormy eyes, and her perfect mouth, molasses colored hair, and slender arms, the way she smells and the way she feels in your arms... Dammit Peeta, stop that." I shake out my whole body trying to rid it of my current thoughts. I have managed to make myself more nervous than I was before. I take a deep breath a walk towards her closed door, knocking lightly.

"Come in.", I hear. I take a shaky hand to the latch and open the door. Katniss is sitting up in bed, her back propped against pillows, and the wall behind her. Her hair is loose and flows like coffee over her shoulders. When she looks up at me her eyes widen, her mouth opens slightly. My breath catches in my throat. "Peeta.", she breathes, "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at the docks?" I watch her fingers nervously tap on the blankets covering her lap.

"Umm...", _Smooth Peeta. _"Not enough work today. Your mother had to go to a birth, she asked me to keep you c-company." _Dear Lord. _

"Oh.", she says before looking around the room at anything but me. "So.", she pauses, "What would you like to do." _Not a chance Peeta! _

"You tell me." My voice comes out lower than I intended, my heart ready to thump out of my chest. Katniss looks like she's contemplating as she bites down on her bottom lip. Watching her teeth sink into the dark pink flesh, makes my heart ache, my stomach do flips and my lungs forget how to fill with air. I am pretty sure I am about to die.

"Will you read to me?", she asks as she tilts her head up to meet my eyes. It's at this point that I realize I have unconsciously moved closer to her bed. I can do nothing but nod my head. She smiles and then begins looking around the bed. "I had it here somewhere." I can only assume she is looking for a book as I see her not slinged arm reach out to pat around her blankets

I begin looking around the bed and its surrounding areas trying to spot the missing novel. That's when I see what looks like the corner of a book poking out from under her stack of pillows. Before I can analyze the inappropriateness of my action I am reaching under her pillows to remove the book. Once it is in my hands I turn it over to see what the book is

"I found..." I stop when I see the title. I silently read 'Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure'. My eyes widen and my jaw drops. I assume at this point Katniss has seen that I have recovered this book of hers, because I hear her gasp.

"Peeta!", she screeches. I can't, as hard as I try, look at her right now, instead I start flipping through the book. her book mark is on a page describing a woman named Fanny watching another couple having sex while pleasuring herself. The next page is an illustration of the scene. The room is filled with Katniss' heated demands for her book back. _This... is hers. _I think to myself. The gentleman in me wants to know if Gale knows this is the kind of literature that Darius gets Katniss, that same gentleman part of me wants to deal with Darius myself. However there is another part of me, no better than a scoundrel who can't help picturing her reading this in the dead of night, no companion but the light of her candle to hear her heavy breathing, witnessing her lips swell with excitement. That same part of me wonders if she ever touches herself while reading, acting out the picture before me.

Katniss screams my name again, and for the first time I look up at her. She looks mortified and on the verge of tears. I suddenly feel awful for embarrassing her so, and hope that she doesn't notice how aroused my erotic thoughts have made me. She reaches out her hand palm up, averting her gaze away from me. I place the book in her hand. When our fingers touch she looks at me suddenly. I try to make my face as apathetic as possible, acting almost bored as I shrug at her, hoping that this will help her humiliation. She sighs deeply before shoving another book into my hand.

"This is the book I would like you to read, if you would still like to read, that is." She gives me a half smile, which I return with a full one. I sit on the chair next to her bed, and try to ignore the tingles running through my body at my proximity to her. She shoves the other book under her pillows again, this time no parts of it show. The novel in my hand now is one I have read before. It is Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift. I see there is no page marker inside, so for the first time since finding that book I finally say something.

"Where would you like me to start?" I look to Katniss to see her snuggling under the blankets, her eyes peer up at me lazily.

"From the beginning if you don't mind, Darius just gave me that last week." _Darius! _I do as she asks, and as I read the line, "My father had a small estate in Nottinghamshire: I was the third of five sons.", I think about confronting Darius about the impropriety of his gifts. By the time I am through with the first chapter Katniss is asleep. I can't help myself when I slide the stray hair that hangs in her face behind her left ear.

The time Katniss and I spend alone over the coming months is nowhere near as awkward. We never talk about the book, or the conversation between her and Prim that I overheard, but I begin to learn a lot about her, and I open up a lot about myself as well. She tells me how she misses a father she doesn't remember and I tell her why I don't miss my mother or brother. She tells me that she loves to sing, and I tell her I love to draw. She tells me about_ most_ of the books she has read and I tell her about school. She talks of her ideal society and I ask if she has read Thomas More's Utopia. She asks me to draw her pictures and then stares intently at me while I do. I ask her to sing, dying a little inside at every note. She calls my pictures beautiful, but nothing could be considered remotely beautiful compared to her voice. It is safe to say that we have become great friends. However, the longing I feel for her and the way she looks at me sometimes, makes me feel like I could burst into flames; makes me wonder if we could be more.

A little over 2 months later, we are just into the beginning of November and Katniss is finally able to go back to her normal activities. Her and I are taking a stroll, a part of her strengthening exercises to rebuild atrophied muscles. The day is blanketed with a brilliant autumn sun and the air is crisp, adding a slightly reddish hue to uncovered skin. Katniss seems to thrive as we walk almost close enough to touch. Every once in awhile, my hand will brush against hers. I blame the dryness of the air for the jolt I feel.

We walk the outskirts of the common, the deeper areas are being used as a British encampment. I watch Katniss stare fondly at the trees, and the gardens in the area. At one point she walks up to an oak, rubbing her hand over the rough bark, taking a deep breath as she does. She suddenly turns to me, a brilliant and mischievous smile on her face.

"I will go hunting tomorrow.", she says matter-of-factly. Her statement bursts with joy, but I can't help feeling overwhelming dread.

"Do you think that's a good idea? Your ankle has just barely mended." I try to talk sense into her, but I can already tell by the smirk on her face that her mind is made up.

"Peeta.", she huffs. "You know as well as I do that my ankle is perfectly fine now." Her smile is sweet, but the rest of her face in tense. "Winter is coming and Gale has not been able to go out hunting in months. We don't have any meat salted or canned for the season. I'll be lucky if I get us any meat at all what with it being so late into Autumn, but I have to try."

"I have money Katniss, I can buy meat for us, enough to last the season." Katniss snorts at the offer.

"Don't be ridiculous, any meat purchased would be way overpriced especially this time of year. Why pay all that money when I can just get it for free." She reaches out and wraps her thin fingers around my arm. I know the gesture is meant to be comforting, but all her closeness to me does is intensify my fear.

"I just don't think you should go." Katniss instantly lets go of my arm, her hands balling into fists, her eyes narrow.

"Why not?", she says in a voice that is eerily calm for Katniss Everdeen. I take a deep breath.

"Because..." _Because I'm worried, because I'm scared, because back when I hardly knew you, seeing you in pain broke something in me, and now, now that I have grown to truly care about you the thought of you being hurt threatens to shatter me into a million pieces, never to be put together again. _Yet for whatever reason I don't tell her this, instead I panic and say the most idiotic thing possible. "Because you're a girl and you're young, and..." The remaining words I was going to say are knocked from my head, as her hand crashes into my cheek. _I saw that coming._

"How _dare_ you?!", she screams. "How dare you tell me what I am capable of, you have no idea." She is visibly shaking now, "I have been hunting since I was 12, and I have been hunting alone since I was 14. You have no idea!" I know it's a risk, but I reach out to try and touch her, attempting to calm her, she instantly pulls away from me.

"Katniss, I..."

"No!" Angry tears begin welling up in her eyes. "You don't get to say something like that to me, and then try to talk your way out of it. You treated me with false respect, if all you think of me is that I am a child and a girl. You... You poor little rich boy whose mother didn't nurture him enough of course would know more than me about supplying food for a family." I flinch at the words intended to hurt me. "Just treat me like a girl from now on, and ignore my existence, I will be ignoring yours." She spins and storms off in the opposite direction. She has left me winded and I am finding it hard to produce sound. I expected her to be upset by my fumbled words, but I didn't expect her to get this upset. Finally, I force the words out of my mouth, calling out after her.

"Katniss, I am so sorry, I didn't mean it." I can barely hear her response.

"I really wish that were true Mr. Mellark." Then she is gone. _Damnit!_

Katniss stays true to her word and acts like I was never born. On the rare occasions that she has to address me, she does so curtly and without looking me in the eye. I try several times to corner her and beg for her forgiveness, but she manages to thwart my plan every time. She has long since moved back to the bedroom she shares with her sister, and the distance, both physical and emotional, between us is driving me mad.

I assume the rest of the family is not blind to the tension between us, but they act as if nothing is different. They smile at me, laugh with me, say kind words to me, but it is not their smiles or laughter or kindness that I crave. On the way to the docks one morning, Gale finally broaches the subject of Katniss with me. He starts with a sigh.

" I understand why you said what you said, you know, to Katniss, and I appreciate how much you care about her safety. Hell, I only taught her to hunt because she would follow me and I was afraid if I didn't teach her the right way she'd get herself killed, but you know she's different. She was never meant for pretty dresses and tea parties. She well... she's just different and well you said that and..." He shrugs at me.

"I know, I know. I am such a fool!" I kick some dirt under my feet. "It wasn't even how I meant to say it. It just fell out of my mouth, and now she hates me, and I shouldn't have said anything at all. Of course she knows how to hunt. Who am I to tell her otherwise? I'm just the poor little rich boy she accused me of being." Gale lightly chuckles at me, and shakes his head.

"I wouldn't worry about it PB. She only gets this mad at people she _really_ cares about." I wish I could take what Gale says and make myself feel better, but all it does it make me feel worse.

"I should give her some space.", I lament. Gale cocks his head at me, a confused look on his face.

"My good friends Annie and Finnick, are, well, attempting to become engaged, and they want me to come to Rhode Island to see them, and talk to Finnick's parents about them over the holidays." I think about the desperation in both their letters to me, and about the apparent love they share for one another. "I wasn't going to go, but with work being so sparse at the docks, and Katniss not able to stay in the same room as me for more than a moment, I just kind of figured maybe I would take them up on the offer." I look up at Gale who has a knowing but sad look on his face. "You'll be able to keep all your men working through the winter with me out of the way, and maybe Katniss will be less angry." I shrug.

"When are you going to tell them?" I know he means the Everdeen's, and I swallow roughly.

"I was going to talk to them about it this evening." Gale gives me a sad smile, and pats me on the back, and for now the conversation is done.

When we arrive at the docks, I am surprised to see Darius there. He has been on a ship for the past few weeks. Without warning the image from the book that I had discovered under Katniss' pillow appears in my head. I haven't had a chance to confront him yet, and although I know the last thing Katniss would ever want is for me to be a champion for her, I don't want to involve Gale, and I really need to say something.

"Hello Darius, how was the trip?" I call to him as I hastily approach.

"Hi, Peeta. It went well, thank you." My resolve almost vanishes right there. He is the only one who ever calls me by my real name. I sigh before I continue.

"So I have a question." He looks at me patiently waiting for me to continue. "When you acquire novels for Katniss, do you pick them out yourself?"

"Why?" Darius asks, he starts to bounce on the balls of his feet nervously. I try calming myself, urging myself to ask more questions before I condemn the man.

"Well it appears one of the books you got her... well...It's a bit...umm inappropriate." I look him in the face and see it fall. He looks a little green.

"Oh no, was she upset?" he looks frantic, and beyond embarrassed.

"Umm... Well no." I shake my head trying to get the image of her reading the book out of my head. "So you had no idea that you had gotten her that book?" He shakes his head and looks down.

"I... I can't read, hardly a word." He heaves a heavy sigh, "One time I got her the same book two trips in a row, that was awkward to explain." He shakes his head, his hands on his hips, still looking down. Now I am the one who feels terrible.

"Hey don't worry about it. Like I said she wasn't upset, I just wanted to make sure that you..." I trail off not wanting to finish. He looks me in the eye and nods fiercely. He understands. He would have done the same thing. I wonder to myself if Katniss has any idea the effect she has on the people around her.

I start to walk away, wanting to end the conversation quickly for both of our sakes. but Darius calls out to me.

"Hey Peeta." I turn to him. "Can you look at what I got her this time, just to make sure?" I nod and he starts fumbling with the leather sack over his shoulder. He retrieves what looks like a book and a newspaper. I walk over and take both from him. The newspaper is a copy of the Pennsylvania Gazette and the book is Candide by Voltaire, one of my favorite books. I smile and look back to Darius.

"She will like these a lot.", I say with a nod. He smiles in return and puts the the two items back safely in his bag. I can't help thinking that Darius is good man. He truly cares about Katniss. He doesn't want to keep her safe in a box that society has built for her, he just wants her to be happy. I know a lot of men who would find the idea of supplying a woman with newspapers and literature outlandish, yet he does it without question or judgement._ He is a better man than I. _Part of me hopes that Katniss will settle down with Darius, or someone like him, and yet another part of me feels nauseous at the idea. I sigh and begin the days work.

I am nervous the whole walk home. Gale seems to understand that, and leaves me to my thoughts. When we enter the kitchen at the Everdeen household, Gale and I are greeted by the radiant smiles of Prim and Mrs. Everdeen. Prim rushes to hug the both of us. Over a short period of time Prim has become nothing short of a sister to me, and I know I am going to miss her terribly. Katniss nods to Gale and smiles, before turning away, and sitting at the table, not sparing me a single glance. Her actions fortify my decision to leave.

I sit in my seat and let the nightly conversation about everyone's day die out before I begin my declaration. A pause in the conversation finally arrives and I jump at the opportunity. I clear my throat before speaking.

"So... Umm. I wanted to let you all know, that I will be... Spending the upcoming holidays with friends of mine in Rhode Island. I was going to spend them here, but my friend Finnick, you see he wants to marry my best friend, well basically sister really, Annie. However his parents seem to need a little convincing, and since I know them all so well, they would like me to go there, spend the holidays and try to talk to Finnick's parents in their defense." I exhale finally, but am unable to lookup at anyone. This family has been beyond kind to me, welcoming me in with open arms, and I feel like I am betraying them.

"Will you be coming back?" Prim's sweet voice is marred with sadness. I look up, her blue eyes wide and full of unshed tears. For a moment I only stare at her, not sure what to say, not sure I'll be welcomed back.

"Of course he will be back, Primrose.", Mrs. Everdeen says sternly. "Right after the holidays. Isn't that right Peeta?" She looks at me. Her face appears caring yet stern at the same time.

"If you will have me.", I say in almost a whisper.

"Then it's settled. We will miss you over Christmas, but it sounds like your friends need you. We will be here when you get back." This time she smiles widely at me, but I do notice the sadness in her eyes as well. Gale pats me on the back, smiling and nodding in my direction. At this point I dare to look at Katniss. She is staring at me, her face somehow completely void of emotion. This time I am the first to look away.

"Why do your friend's parents need convincing?" Prim asks, her eyes no longer shrouded with tears.

"Well you see, Finnick's family is very wealthy, and Annie, well, she was the daughter of my parent's housekeeper. When Annie's mother died, Annie took over her position. My mother decided not to bring Annie with her to the house in Nova Scotia, so I managed to get her a position at Finnick's parents house, and well, they fell in love." At the word _love _I hear a scraping noise come from in front of me. I look up to see Katniss rising from her chair. She drops her napkin to her plate.

"Excuse me.", she mumbles, her voice hoarse, before walking down the hallway that leads to her bedroom. I stare at her as she goes, wishing I knew what she was thinking.

"That is so _very_ romantic.", Prim coos. I can't tear my eyes away from Katniss' retreating form.

"Yes it is, isn't it, Prim?" Katniss turns into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her, and I finally turn to Prim, giving her my best smile. "That's why I hope I can help them, you know, with it being Christmas and all." _I wish someone would help me,_ I think to myself.

I send a letter the next morning, letting Finnick know I will be arriving later this week. A couple of days pass and I am in my room packing my things, preparing for my trip.

She is as silent as a spirit, but I can feel her eyes on me. The hair on the back of my neck stands at attention under her watchful gaze. I turn around slowly, not wanting to scare her off. Katniss stands at the threshold of my doorway, redness rims her eyes. For a while she just stands there staring at the floor. I remain silent, not daring to speak.

"So you're just going to leave?" Her voice is almost inaudible, but my ears ring at the sound of her voice.

"I assumed you wanted your space from me. I figured you would be happy to see me go." I end the sentence with a shrug, this tension between us has exhausted me. Katniss is silent again. Every nerve in my body is screaming at me to go to her, to envelop her in my arms, to apologize for the rest of my life, but instead I just stand there like a coward. Suddenly Katniss is looking right at me, her face is in its signature scowl her eyes are on fire.

"You apparently have no idea what would make me happy." With that she's gone. This girl brings me to the edge of insanity, and likes to give me a shove for my troubles. She makes me want to rip my hair out, or jump into the murky depths of the Charles.

I look down at my bed, covered with all my possessions, as anger bubbles through me. I take one arm, and shove everything off the bed violently. I fall face first into my pillows and groan loudly before I begin to slam my head into the pillow repeatedly, trying to relieve some of the pressure. This separation will be good for both of us.

* * *

**Oh Peeta!**

**Also I know I wrote it, but Darius being illiterate made me so sad... But speaking of reading that brings us to your fun fact:**

**The book that Katniss was secretly reading 'Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure' (known more commonly as 'Fanny Hill') an erotic novel by John Cleland was published in England in 1748. The author wrote the book while in debtors prison. This book is considered "the first original English prose pornography, and the first pornography to use the form of the novel." It is one of the most banned books in history. Sooo of course sassy and naughty feminist Katniss Everdeen would be reading it... hee hee**

**Next up... Christmas at the Odair's **

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi! Thanks to everyone who is reading this, and to those who have reviewed, followed and favorited! You Are AMAZING!**

**I need to insist that you read everything that BleedToLoveHer writes, absolutely brilliant, but especially make sure you read 'Maybe It's Just Me" - Best Peeta goes to HG's without Katniss story that I have read. The love story is so genuine and sweet and sad and beautiful!**

**And with that please Enjoy!**

* * *

I arrive at the Odairs' estate early on a Thursday evening. I only told Finnick I would be arriving later in the week, but not specifically when; I am excited to surprise him. Knowing him he has gone completely out of his mind waiting. I am also looking forward to seeing Annie and Sae, especially Annie. I know she didn't expect this to happen with Finnick. I also know Mr. and Mrs. Odair would be proud to have her as a member of their family. She is kind, studious, and beautiful. I know she will challenge Finnick, the way she did me my whole life. My friends are counting on me to convince the Odairs to look past Annie's station.

I had spent the trip coming up with my plan of attack. I overwhelmed my thoughts with the desirable attributes of Annie, so that I could keep my mind off the desirable attributes of Katniss. I was still so damn mad over the confrontation between Katniss and I that I could barely compose myself during my goodbye's, but Prim's tear stained face snapped me out of my selfishness. I took her into my arms and placed light kisses on her wet cheeks. Gale gave me a firm hug. Mrs. Everdeen cupped my cheeks in her hands and pulled me down to plant a kiss on my forehead. Katniss stood in the doorway to the apothecary with the door half closed. She kept her eyes downward, but once I had said farewell to everyone else her eyes did tilt up to meet mine. We kept each other's gaze for a moment before I tipped my hat and mounted my horse. With a wave I rode away.

I step up to the front door, ringing the roped bell to the right. After a few moments the door opens to reveal a familiar dark haired beauty with emerald green eyes.

"Peeta!", she gasps. I have my arms wrapped around her waist before she can say anything else. Her arms snake around my neck and I plant a kiss on her cheek.

"I missed you so much.", my lips still against her face. "Are they treating you and Sae well?", I whisper in her ear. She pulls away and nods enthusiastically, a smile on her face.

"Oh Peeta, they have been perfect, more than perfect. Mrs. Odair is the epitome of kindness, and Mr. Odair is always smiling and asks me my opinion on a daily basis. He reminds me so much of your father." A sadness glazes her eyes, and I know the same sadness has filled mine.

"And Finnick?", I say changing the subject, a knowing smirk on my face. She gives me a half smile, a blush on her cheeks. She closes her eyes, and rubs the tips of her fingers on each temple.

"What can I say? He snuck up on me."

"Do you love him?" At my question she opens her eyes, a spark I've never seen before is present in them. She looks me straight in the eyes.

"Yes." It's all she says, but it is all she _needs_ to say. I feel my breath catch in my throat. I am so incredibly happy for my oldest friend.

"Well then let's get you engaged, shall we." I give her another kiss, this time on her forehead. Her smile is so bright right now, I don't think I have ever seen her happier.

"Now enough of this.", she states sternly. "I can't keep you to myself, when there is a house full of people wanting to see you, but at some point, you are going to have to tell me about Boston and Katniss." The name makes me both flinch and come alive. I nod to Annie, not wanting to get into anything now.

Annie leads me to what I know as the main sitting room. When she gets to the door, we can hear loud voices coming from the other side. Annie and I press our ears against the door.

"Father this is ridiculous, you have to be cheating." Finnick's voice has a distinct whine to it.

"How pray-tell could I be cheating at chess, son?" I hear the boisterous laugh of Mr. Odair, followed by Finnick's exasperated sigh. At this point Annie puts a finger to her lips looking for my silence, then she opens the door quietly.

"Damnit father, stop it." Then I hear, rather than see, Finnick slam a fist to the table. This just encourages more laughter from Mr. Odair. I hear Finnick mumble something inaudible, then he begins to chuckle as well.

"Gentlemen." Annie alerts father and son to her presence.

"Annie." I hear Finnick sigh.

"We have a visitor." She steps out of the way so that I am able to present myself.

"Peeta!", Finnick exclaims in my direction, before bounding towards me with a large smile on his face. I barely have time to brace myself before Finnick's arms come crashing around me, pulling me into a bear hug and lifting me off the floor.

"I thought it was Annie you were in love with.", I mumble, causing him to begin giggling like a young girl with a crush. He reaches out a gently pats my cheek.

"Ah Peet, you know you will always be my favorite." I roll my eyes again and smack his hand away. I notice as I glance up that Mr. Odair has come up to greet me. He extends his hand.

"Good to see you Peeta, we are so happy you could join us for the holidays.", he smiles.

"Thank-you sir, there is no where I'd rather be.", I lie.

"How long have you been here?", Finnick asks curiously

"Long enough to see how pathetic you are at chess." Finnick slaps me on the side of the arm. His father bursts into laughter once more, and I am pretty sure I can hear Annie snickering on the other side of the room. I can't help but smile widely. These people are more my family than my surviving kin will ever be. I am happy I came.

* * *

Later that evening, Finnick and I are sitting by the fire smoking cigars and playing cribbage.

"So how's life in Boston?", Finnick asks while looking at his cards. I think for a moment how to proceed from here.

"It's... different.", I shrug.

"And this Katniss you spoke of, how's life with her?", Finnick chided while wagging his eyebrows suggestively. I sigh out loud and shake my head, dropping my cards to the floor.

"Frustrating, absolutely frustrating.", I groan

"How so?" Finnick is looking right at me now.

"Well, she treated me like a leper for weeks. She wouldn't even stay in the same room as me for more than a moment. I get it, I was stupid. So I come here to give her space..."

"You mean you didn't come here just to see me?", Finnick cuts me off, feigning hurt. His hand splayed over his heart. I just smirk and shake my head.

"So I go to leave", I continue, "and she goes completely insane. I don't know what it is about her, but she just gets under my skin.", I groan again, dragging my hands through my hair.

"Ah, young love.", Finnick muses. I look at him like he's grown a second head, cocking my eyebrow.

"Finnick, I know what love is... this... this is." I have no idea what this is. Now it's Finnick's turn to look at me in disbelief.

"You have no idea what love is, Peeta. All you know is how to get an erection around the pretty girl your mother made you court."

"I loved Delly... I _love_ Delly." Finnick snorts at me shaking his head. His attitude is upsetting. "Delly, she's great, she's... "

"Perfect.", Finnick finishes. I look up at him confused; he smirks at my lack of understanding. "Delly is perfect, she is beautiful, and polite, and kind. She is submissive and would make a lovely wife, but she wasn't meant for you." I narrow my eyes at him, but allow him to continue. Finnick chuckles. "Let's just say that best thing to happen to you, was that the British decided to tax us colonists to death. Sure, if Delly had stayed you would have gotten married and had children. I don't doubt that you would have cared for her deeply, but you never would have been happy. You were never going to fall completely in love with her." He sighs and rests a hand on my shoulder, his expression suddenly serious, "Peeta, please believe me when I say I have never met anyone who was more passionate than you. Peeta, you _need_ fire in your life. The happiest I have ever seen you was after your mother disowned you. So sure, Delly is perfectly perfect, but it sounds like this Katniss knows how to make a fire." He smirks to himself over his cleverness. I want to argue, but I am completely stunned. My heart is thumping loudly at the prospect of Finnick being right.

"So tell me about Katniss. What does she look like? Besides beautiful with grey eyes." Finnick speaks after a few moments of contemplative silence.

"Hold on a moment and I'll show you." I get up and head to my room picking up one of my leather cases that hold my sketches. I head back, and sit down in front of Finnick. Opening the case and pulling out the first one I find of Katniss. It's one I drew during our first walk when she was allowed to go out again. We only walked to the end of the road, before Katniss had to rest on a stone wall. She wore her hair in two braids that day, her dress was blue and white, and the sun made her glow. She was stunning.

"Wow Peet, you weren't kidding, she's remarkable." I lose myself daydreaming about the way she looked that day, the way her eyes were the color of molten silver, how she...

"Sweet Jesus Peeta!" I look up at Finnick and see he has gotten a hold of my sketch case. He is going through sketch after sketch and I know that in most of them the subject was Katniss. Finnick looks to me with a self-satisfied smirk. I reach my hand out wanting my sketches returned to me, but he pulls them closer to himself.

"I'm only giving them back if you answer me one question... _Honestly_."

"What!", I growl

"How many sketch cases do you have filled with pictures of Delly?" I don't answer him, but I know my face says it all. Finnick burst out into hysterics as he hands me back the case. "I knew it.", he gloats. Once the sketches are back in my hand, I try to straighten them so I can put them away. As I hold a handful of Katniss' on paper, I know in that moment that Finnick was right. I hang my head in defeat. _Damnit!_

Finnick must notice the breakdown I am about to have because he quickly changes the subject.

"So I am having some of the boys from school over at weeks end. I told them you would be here, and they are excited to see you." The idea of seeing my friends lifts my spirits a bit, though I have one question.

"Is Ben going to be there?" Finnick doesn't answer me, but instead gives me a nervous smile. "Really Finn? Don't tell me _he_ misses me." Benjamin Marvel is a snooty, self-serving ass. We never got along.

"I really didn't have a choice.", Finnick pleads apologetically. "It would have been bad form to invite everyone but him." I suddenly feel bad for complaining, Finnick did a good thing. I pat him on the shoulder and smile.

"It'll be fun Finn." He smiles back at me and we go back to our cribbage game.

* * *

Finn and I don't get time to discuss anything else in the day and a half before the boys are set to arrive. I still want to have a sit down with him about Annie, before I have to face his parents. Luckily, Mrs. Odair won't be returning from her sister's house in Framingham, Massachusetts for about 2 weeks. Mr. Odair seems to adore Annie, so I will take that as a good sign. I have walked in on them playing chess quite a few times, and unlike Finnick, she can hold her own. I know from experience.

Finnick has been locked up in his room working on a philosophy paper since the night we discussed Katniss, giving me time to catch up with Annie and Sae and to have time for my own thoughts. Which more often than not, and without my permission, shift to Katniss. I have several crumpled pieces of parchment on the ground, the remnants of sad attempts at letters of apology.

I can't for the life of me figure it out. I have never felt self-conscious and inadequate in my life, but I feel both constantly when I am around her. I have always been good with words, speaking or writing, and I have had the best minds at Harvard tell me so. Yet the words I want to say to her, come out not like they should, but instead like they were spit forth by a simpleton with a head injury. I promptly give up on expressing my feelings with words and instead decide to communicate in a way that has yet to fail me. I grab a new piece of paper and begin an outline of a sketch, one that I will make into a painting, and hopefully it will convey all I want to say to her.

I have just begun work on the trees that will serve as the background for my painting when there is a knock on my door. Before I can answer, Finnick busts in the room, exclaiming that everyone has arrived. _This should be fun._

Sam, Thomas, Gregory, and Ben are standing in the sitting room, with drinks already in hand when we enter. Once spotted, I am instantly surrounded by everyone, except Ben Marvel who is lurking in the background with a pretentious smirk on his face. I am asked how I am and what I have been doing. I give them a brief description of my life in Boston. They seem very interested, asking me if i run into a lot of "Lobsters" at the docks, and about the people I work with. At this point Marvel has closed the distance between himself and the rest of us.

"What I'd like to know is if Mellark here has found himself a pretty fishwife to settle down with yet." The disgust in his voice and the sneer on his lips makes the urge to punch him very strong, but I restrain myself.

"Not yet.", I say, plastering a fake smile on my face. He shows me the same insincerity in return .

The night goes rather smoothly, even with the snide remarks about dockworkers, college dropouts and even torrie fiancees. Each time Marvel opens his mouth Finn gives me a sympathetic look. I don't let it bother me though, I suffered worse my whole life from my own mother. I wonder if she'd find it amusing that she used to always compare my appearance to a dockworker and now I am one. _Oh sweet irony. _

Everyone is a few drinks and cigars deep and we've all loosened up quite a bit, when Annie comes through the door with her head down. When she hears us her head snaps up, her eyes wide.

"Oh, I apologize.", she stammers as she backs her way out.

"It's alright Annie.", Finnick bellows to her in a voice made loud by alcohol. He gives her one of his signature Finnick Odair smiles, albeit a slight bit crooked at the moment. I can see Annie blush from where I am standing, as she sneaks him a shy smile. before leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

"Finn.", Sam breathes, "That was her? That was Annie? She's beautiful!"

"Yeah that's her." Finnick slaps Sam on that back a tad bit too hard, but Sam holds back the grimace. "That's the girl I'm going to marry, or at least hope to once... ", he wraps his arms around my shoulders, "The best damn lawyer in New England here argues my case." I can't help rolling my eyes at his sentiment, and I manage to catch Marvel doing the same thing. My grades were always higher than Marvel's and the professors always liked me better as well, he hated it.

"Finnick.", Marvel speaks up after finishing off his current stein of rum, following with a burst of laughter and shake of his head. "You do know that you don't have to _marry_ the help. In civilized society we simply have our way with them, and marry someone who is appropriate to our station." He chuckles closed mouthed, but the smirk quickly leaves his face and his eyes grow wide when he sees Finnick charging at him.

I step in front of Finnick, grabbing him by the shirt at his chest. He is pushing with all his might and trying to look around me to Marvel. I have never seen Finnick so upset in my life. He is not talking but instead growling in Marvel's direction.

"Finn...Finn." I coax him to look at me. When he finally does look, his green eyes are wide with rage, red lines coating the whites of his eyes. His jaw is clenched and his temples are throbbing. "Finn I get it, she is like my sister, but if your mother gets wind of this your engagement will be over before it has even started. You are Finnick Odair, next in line to a ship making fortune. This is not how you should be acting. _You_ are better than this." At my words Finnick visibly relaxes, he closes his eyes and draws in one large cathartic breath before opening them again. He gives me a half smile that does not reach his eyes, but I no longer feel him trying to push me out of the way.

I slowly release the cloth of his shirt which is clenched in my fists. I straighten out the wrinkles. Finnick bows his head to me in a silent thank you and I nod back. I hear Marvel snort behind me, obviously finding that his bravery has returned now that the situation has been defused. I look into Finnick's eyes one more time.

"I on the other hand...", I whisper so only Finn can hear. Finn raises an eyebrow at me before a smirk of understanding contorts his lips. I spin on my heel to face Marvel. He wears that familiar snooty smile, a smile he is still wearing when my fist connects with his face. "... Am nothing but a dock worker.", I say a little louder with a shrug.

Benjamin Marvel whimpers and collapses like a man who has never been hit before. I am proud to be the one to have taught him this lesson. I am also happy that this lesson came after the months of building up my strength at the docks. For a moment everyone is stunned, but then there is a wave of laughter that flows through the room. Sam goes to retrieve a cloth to help stop the blood that flows from Marvel's nose. I feel Finnick's hand on my shoulder. I turn to see him smiling brightly.

"And that, my friend, is why you are my favorite." I shake my head at him. Taking the cloth from Sam I turn to Marvel and help him to his feet. Clapping him on the sides of his arms causes him to flinch. I give him the cloth which he brings straight to his nose, then I hand him a full stein.

"Drink.", I order. His eyes are swimming in defeat, and I know we won't have a problem with Marvel for the rest of his visit. I can't help smiling when he begins chugging his rum.

* * *

The days get darker and colder, and snow begins to fall. I have just about finished my painting for Katniss. The background is adorned with trees that reflect the colors of autumn. Its foliage rich with reds, yellows and oranges, the leaves look like fire.

On the ground below stands Katniss. I have her dressed in pants and a billowy white shirt. Her molasses colored hair flows freely behind her, a knowing smirk on her face. She stands sideways and holds a bow and arrow in her hands, aimed at her next kill. I know that Katniss uses a gun, but in mythology all the huntresses are archers. I think to myself how the weapon seems to suit her as I find that I am staring at the painted canvas.

I plan on framing the painting, and then shipping it to Katniss. My hope is that it gets there in time for Christmas. I want this painting to say I am sorry, that I understand her. Most importantly though I want it to say that when I look at her I do not see a young fragile girl but instead someone incapable of definition, someone who is, in Gale's words, _different_.

After I add the final strokes to the painting, I wander aimlessly around the house, not sure where anyone is. When I walk into one of the sitting rooms I see Mr. and Mrs. Odair sitting drinking tea. They spot me before I have a chance to sneak out, not wanting to disturb them.

"Ah Peeta, sweetheart, do come in.", Mrs. Odair says while beckoning me over with her hand. I walk towards them sitting down in a chair across from where they are seated.

"Good afternoon, how are you two doing today?" Mr. and Mrs. Odair exchange a look before turning back to me.

"We are doing well Peeta, thank you, but please let's not pretend we don't have pressing matters to discuss." Her smile is almost devious. I am suddenly nervous, knowing what she is referring to. "My son loves you like a brother he never had, and trusts you deeply, and I know that he didn't merely ask you her for the nog." She sighs before continuing, "I have already talked to him at length about this. I know he loves her Peeta, there is no doubt, and I know she feels the same about him, it's just...", _Her station._ She looks to her husband, seemingly unable to find the words to continue.

"I think she's brilliant Peeta.", Mr. Odair speaks up. "Best chess player I have ever met, female or otherwise. My friend John Hancock and I play chess by post, and I had been stuck for the longest time, unable to make a move, and what do you know she came right in, basically just glanced at the bored, and had my next move, putting John in quite the position." He chuckles warmly. "I mean anyone who can trap Hancock, what can I say, how could I not love her?..."

"You know we don't care about stations and stuffy propriety, but this isn't our future Peeta, it's his." She reaches out and takes her husbands hand in hers. These are truly kind people, and I know their only concern in Finnick, their only child. Finnick told me his mother lost another child about a year after he was born, and was never able to concieve again. "We love Annie, we do. She is smart and beautiful, and kind, and would challenge my son, but he will one day take over this empire our family has built. What will those he makes business with think of him? Will this match cause him more problems, than good?" She shakes her head. "I just don't know what to do Peeta."

I hold my tongue at first, trying to evaluate her concern. I understand it. People can be most unkind when it comes to the taboo of an unbalanced marriage. I take a deep breath, knowing there is very little I can say.

"He loves her so very deeply, what pray-tell would happen to him without her in his life? He is already a goner. I would apologize for being the one who brought her here, but I just can't. Finnick, he was free falling out there. He has always been looking for something more substantial, and has been grasping at anything hoping it would be the cure to a loneliness he didn't even realize he was suffering from." I take a deep breath and give his parents a small smile. "Annie is probably the best thing to ever happen to him, and I think somewhere inside you both know that to be true. I have never seen him so happy, determined and focused as long as I have known him. So, yes, he may run into problems in the future, but we know he _will_ run into serious problems now if he is not allowed to have Annie in his life." I feel my heart pounding in my chest as I finish my argument. Love is all these two have, and the only thing I can argue for. I hold my breath in anticipation.

Mr. and Mrs. Odair are looking into each other's eyes, communicating with something deeper than words. I find myself envious. I see Mr. Odair squeeze his wife's hand and nod once. Mrs. Odair turns to me and lets out an exasperated sigh.

"You are brilliant with words Peeta Mellark." I have to hold back a snort. _Not all the time! _She grabs a bell on the small table next to her and rings it loudly. a few moments later the door opens and Annie walks in. "Annie dear, can you retrieve my son from his room, and can we have both of you come in here afterwards?" Annie's eyes widen momentarily, and her gaze flicked to me.

"Y-yes Ma'am.", Annie stammers before scurrying off quickly. A few minutes later, both Finnick and Annie walk into the room. They both look pale, and nervous.

"Well first things first.", Mrs. Odair begins, "Annie, you can no longer be employed at this house." I inhale a sharp breath, not at all expecting those to be the words that came out of Finnick's mother's mouth. I fear I have failed my friends in the worst way. Annie is visibly shaken and on the verge of tears, and Finnick looks furious.

"But Mother!", he wails. This is going terribly wrong. Suddenly Mrs. Odair's hands shoot up in surrender.

"Finnick, calm down. I merely say this because I cannot have my future daughter-in-law working as a servant.", she scoffs. Everyone in the room freezes, except for Mr. Odair whose laughter fills the room. I finally exhale the breath I was holding and Finnick starts charging towards his mother. Mrs. Odair stands and he embraces her.

"Are you serious?", he says to her unbelieving.

"Yes my darling." She kisses him on the cheek. He releases his mother and bounds back towards Annie who is standing in shock, frozen at her original place by the door. Finnick quickly picks her up and swings her around.

"I love you Annie.", he declares. I watch Annie whisper what I can only assume is her own declarations of love, her face crimson in color. Finnick finally places Annie on her feet and they walk over to his parents who embrace them both. Eventually Finnick looks to me, calling me over to join in.

* * *

It is a few days after the New Year, Finnick and Annie were married in a very private ceremony which included me, his parents and Sae on New Years day at the estate. As I watched them take their vows and kiss as man and wife for the first time. I couldn't help but wonder if I would ever be standing in Finnick's position, and who would be standing in Annie's. When I closed my eyes to imagine, there was only one face I could see.

I sent the painting along with small presents for the rest of the Everdeen/Hawthorne family almost a month ago. I am wondering how Katniss took to the picture. I sent a letter a week back letting them know that I would be heading back right after the New Year.

My stomach has been in knots all morning, knowing that I would be seeing Katniss in just a couple of days. The weather has been mild for January, and there is not much snow on the ground. Finnick's family lets me take their carriage with a driver to get me back to Boston. I load my possessions and say goodbye to the people I consider my second family. With a wave of my hat the carriage takes off on its way to a family I have yet to define the importance of in my life, and to a girl I can't get off of my mind.

* * *

**Fun Fact for all the artists out there - The first paints produced in the colonies were based off formulas that came from American Indians. The first premixed liquid paint manufactured wasn't on the market until 1867.**

**Next up - Everlark meets the Boston Massacre - which incidentally is the chapter I have been wanting to write since I started this fic! **

**Thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hi Everyone, Thanks for reading, Reviewing, Following and favoriting! I heart you guys!**

**I do not own the Hunger Games, but I do think Suzanne Collins is a genius!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I find I am becoming more and more anxious as the carriage draws closer to Boston. My thoughts are completely jumbled and all I know for sure is that very soon, for better or worse, I am going to see Katniss Everdeen again.

I begin to panic. What if the painting did not elicit the response I wanted it to? What if it wasn't enough for her to look past my previous verbal upset? Sure, Finnick had shown me the light as it were. I have now admitted to myself that I have feelings for Katniss beyond whatever platonic delusion I had created. I have yet to define these feelings, I only know for sure they are overwhelming. Keeping that in mind, is it even worth exploring feelings that may not be reciprocated? The thought is frustrating to no end; as is anything related to Miss Everdeen.

I finally fall into a fitful sleep sometime in the middle of the night, and awake as we pull down the Everdeen's street. The driver had obviously not stopped at all during the night. By the looks of the sun it is mid-morning and I wonder if anyone will be home.

After I gather my belongings and bid farewell to the my driver, I trudge up the few stairs to the apothecary assuming if anyone is home that is where I will find them. As my foot plants itself on the top step, the door swings open with great force and a small figure bounds towards me. My brain tries to conjure the image of Katniss as the one running to greet me, however it is a blond-haired girl who leaps into my arms. My disappointment is short lived when I feel Prim's small arms wrap around my neck and I realize just how much I have missed her.

"Peeta!", she squeals. I chuckle at her enthusiasm.

"Hey Prim.", I whisper into her hair, as I squeeze her back. I set her down and she beams victoriously at me.

"I am so happy you are home." My heart tightens slightly at the word _home. _"Thank you so much for the hair ribbons and peppermints.", Prim gushes about the Christmas presents I had sent. "And... ", she beckons my head down to hers. I comply and she begins to whisper, "Katniss hung the painting in our room. I catch her staring at it all the time. She likes it alot. She..."

"Prim!", scolds. She is now standing on the porch behind Prim. "A young lady does not gossip." Prim spins to look at her mother.

"But Mother, I'm not gossiping. It's my room as well and I think the painting is lovely." Mrs. Everdeen simply shakes her head and makes her way over to me.

"Hello Peeta.", she pulls me into an embrace, "Welcome home." There's that word again. I can't help by hold her a little tighter when she says it.

"Thank you Mrs. Everdeen, it is wonderful to be back." I follow her and Prim back inside.

"Prim why don't you help Peeta get settled." Prim nods enthusiastically and leads me to the small room that I call mine. Mrs. Everdeen walks to the other side of the shop and begins busying herself breaking down herbs in the new mortar and pestle I sent her.

"So she really liked it?", I ask Prim quietly. She only nods and smiles at me, obviously not wanting to cross her mother again. "Umm... Where is Katniss?" Prim smiles broadly at my question.

"She's out hunting. She goes once or twice in the middle of winter to try for some fresh game. She usually doesn't get too much, and doesn't stay out long." She smirks knowingly at me. "She should be home by mid-day to eat." The thought of seeing Katniss in just a few short hours ties my stomach into knots. My mouth seems overwhelmingly dry. I think about her face, her body, the sound of her voice, and the way she sings; her smiles, her scowls. I get the impression that Prim is speaking to me. I shake my head of my current thoughts and look to her.

"I'm sorry Prim, What were you saying?" Prim giggles.

"I asked if your friends were able to be together." I nod happily to her.

"Yes. They were married on New Years Day." Prim claps her hands gleefully.

"Oh that is such good news. I was worried for them." Knowing sweet and gentle Prim she probably was.

* * *

I try to keep myself busy in the shop as mid-day approaches. I help carry boxes for the Everdeen's and even grind some herbs. Every once in awhile I catch Mrs. Everdeen giving me a knowing look, and I am sure that my nervousness is playing out on my face. Occasionally she will give me a pat on the arm, which I'm sure on the surface is supposed to be encouragement or a thank you for the tasks I am helping with. However the look in her eyes leads me to believe it goes beyond that.

The three of us head upstairs, and I help prepare the meal. When that is done I help Prim set up the table. She tells me that Gale has been coming home for lunch recently because of lack of ships to unload due to the time of year and British involvement. I put the last cup on the table as the back door swings open. My heart leaps in my throat as I look up.

Katniss is looking down, adjusting something on her game bag as she walks in, not paying any mind to the scene in front of her. I stare at her, not yet retracting my hand from the water cup I have placed on the table. I will her to look up at me, while at the same time wishing that a hole would open up beneath me so I could be swallowed whole.

"Katniss, look who's home!", Prim shrieks with delight. This startles both of us. I pull back, standing up straight, throwing my shaking hands behind my back. Katniss discontinues fiddling with her bag, her mouth has fallen open and she stares at a random spot on the floor for a moment before lifting her eyes to look into the room. When her eyes search out mine my chest becomes tight. I can't help but notice the chaotic storm in them, I don't think God himself could created the likes of it.

"Peeta?", her greeting comes out more like a question; her cheeks red from the crisp outdoor air.

"Katniss.", I nod to her. I find it hard to breathe. My shaking hands threaten to send a tremor through my entire body. I stand there and continue to stare at her, still in shock over the very first words we have spoken to each other since our fight before I left. My skin feels like it's burning, and I don't have a clue how to extinguish the flames. I am not sure whether I find it encouraging that she just keeps staring back. _Speak to her dammit! _She beats me to it.

"Peeta, um... I..." The moment is completely shattered when the door leading outside is flung open once again and heavy footsteps follow. We both hastily tear our eyes from each other and settle on Gale's figure entering the kitchen. When Gale sets eyes on me, he gives me a large smile and approaches quickly.

"Ahh, I was wondering when we were going to see your face again." He slaps me on the back, before going to set the items in his hand down. I automatically try to locate Katniss again, but her back is already to me as she empties her game bag.

Our meal is filled with exposed stares and awkward smiles between Katniss and I. Having been caught up in my Katniss fueled daydreams more than once since we sat down to eat, I try my best to stay focused for the rest of the meal.

Actually most of our encounters over the next month and a half are like that. Awkward, but friendly. The hostility has melted away, but an unnamed tension seems to have been left in its wake. Occasionally I catch her looking at me, but I am sure she catches me staring twice as much. When we brush past each other in a crowded room, the point of impact burns like a fever all day. We don't talk though. We have never had a conversation about Christmas or the painting. Although I occasionally am asked a question by Prim that's content makes me question if she is _actually_ the one asking. I am just glad that Katniss' scowl that had, until I Ieft, been reserved for only me, appears to be nowhere in sight.

On a chilly Monday afternoon in early March, I am heading back to the house. Work is again scarce at the docks. Tensions have been reaching a boiling point between the colonists and soldiers. Over the past three days there have been rumors of confrontations. There is a thickness in the air. Something is coming. I just hope we are prepared for it.

I get back to the house to find the apothecary is closed. Maybe another birth? I make my way up the back stairs instead. The house is quiet but I see movement coming from the sitting room. When I walk in I see Katniss sitting on the floor working with needle and thread on some piece of clothing draped across her lap. I swallow thickly knowing that this is the first time we have been alone since I've been back. I clear my throat to alert her of my presence. Katniss glances up at me, her eyes widen and she fumbles her pin dropping it into the sea of fabric.

"Peeta.", her voice sounds breathless. I take a step into the room.

"I'm sorry Katniss, if I disturbed you. I can leave if you want.", I gesture towards the doorway.

"Yes.", she breathes while still staring at me with wide eyes. She suddenly shakes her head, "I mean no... No. Please sit down, I am almost finished here. Mrs. Trinket should be here for this dress soon." She starts feeling around the fabric looking for the lost pin.

Katniss, from what Prim tells me, does seamstress work on occasion, but has had to do it more since work has been tight at the docks. With Gale making less money, even with me giving almost all the money I make to Mrs. Everdeen, things around here have been tighter than usual. When I asked Prim why Katniss did not work in the apothecary like her and her mother, Prim simply smirked at me.

"_Human blood makes Katniss faint." She must have seen the disbelief on my face, that a huntress could be bothered by the blood of any species. Prim just laughed and shook her head. "I know, I know. She says its different."_

I come out of my reverie to see Katniss still patting down on the dress in search of her sewing instruments. I crouch down in front of her scanning the material with my own eyes, searching for a glint of metal.

"Ouch!", Katniss exclaims before a much quieter, "Damn." My head shoots up to see Katniss retracting her hand away from the dress, the pin still lodged in her finger. With the other hand she plucks the pin out and then wearily examines her finger. Before my brain has any clue what the rest of me is doing, I have gently grabbed her wrist and pull her hand towards me for a better look. A tiny red bubble is already forming at the point of puncture. I reach up so my fingers wrap around hers, then gently drag my calloused thumb over the blood, wiping it away. I feel a shiver run down Katniss' arm. For the first time I look up at her. Katniss isn't looking at me; she is looking at my hand wrapped around hers. Her mouth has fallen open ever so slightly and her gray eyes are hooded.

I place my thumb back on her injured middle finger, adding a slight bit more pressure, massaging the area in tight circles. I can't help thinking to myself that I am out of my mind. I am completely overreacting. Katniss is going to find me obscene. However Katniss does not try to pull away. After a moment or two or three, maybe even four, I pull my thumb away and smile when I see that the blood has stopped.

"You've seen worse.", I mutter, my voice sounds dark. Katniss responds with what sounds like a nervous giggle. I start pulling her hand gently towards my mouth "Just in case though.", I whisper. The voice in my head screams for me to stop what I am about to do, but it is too late, something inside of me needs this, needs to feel her skin against my lips, I crave this. _Good God man! _My brain takes one last crack at halting this insanity, but her finger is already at my mouth, and I can't help but press my lips firmly onto the pad. My lips tingle at the place that touches her, and I can hear Katniss gasp.

I pull my mouth away but keep hold of her hand, not caring at this moment that I have gone too far. I look up to Katniss to see that her face is much closer to mine than I had originally thought. I look down to see that she is on her knees. I fall down onto mine as I look back into her eyes. They seem to smoulder under my gaze. A slight flush covers her face and cascades down her neck, disappearing under her dress. I need to grab this beautiful woman's face and kiss her... hard, and I need to do it now. With that thought I hear the back door swing open. _Fuck! _I instantly release my grasp on Katniss' hand, and she falls back onto the floor pulling the dress onto her lap once again. I pull myself into a chair behind me as Gale sways into the room.

"Hey, just the man I was looking for.", an evil grin crosses his face. "Hey Catnip." He looks down quickly to Katniss. She is already deep into her sewing, she doesn't even look up as she says 'Hello' with the pin that pricked her in between her gritted teeth. "So.", Gale turns back to me, "Big card game tonight. You in?" A hopeful look on his face. I go to answer but I am interrupted.

"Can I go?", Katniss pipes in. Gale snorts at her, giving her a dumbfounded look.

"No."

"Well why not?!", Katniss protests.

"Because, Catnip, there will be _girls_ there."

"Well what in God's name am I?" She is getting angrier by the second, not yet realizing what Gale means by _girls. _

"Not that kind of girl, Catnip.", Gale shakes his head at her. Katniss looks in thought for a second before realization dawn on her. Her eyes grow wide. She has a frantic look on her face, suddenly looking to me.

"Are you going?", she asks. I don't want to go, I want to kiss _this_ girl dammit. However, just like every other time Katniss asks me a question I turn into a bumbling fool.

"I...umm...I don't..."

"Of course he's going." Gale wraps his arm around my shoulders and I know I am stuck. Katniss' face drops.

"Oh.", is all she says before looking down at her sewing once more. I try mentally begging her. _Ask me to stay, please just ask me to stay and I will. Hell, just look at me and I'll stay. _She doesn't look up though, consumed with the task in hand. I spend the rest of the day in my room reading before it is time to go.

* * *

Gale and I make our way to the game. the air is crisp and there is still snow on the ground. As we turn onto Kings Street, we see a crowd gathered outside the Custom House.

"What's this?", Gale asks to no one in particular. As we get closer, we see that the crowd is about five dozen people. They are gathered around the steps of the Custom House, flinging insults and snow at a lone young private, who has made his way up the steps to separate himself from the crowd. I look around trying to see what exactly is going on, but all I can see is madness. The people in the crowd are not only throwing stuff at the captain, but actually challenging him to fire his weapon.

"This isn't going to go well.", I mutter to myself. When I look to Gale I see he has the same crazy glint in his eye as most of the other people around us. He begins pushing through the crowd for a better look. "Gale!", I call to him, but he has already disappeared into the throng of colonists. Frustration surges through me as church bells begin ringing a little up the street. Church bells at this time of day would usually mean a fire, and will bring people out of their homes and businesses to watch. These church bells, however, are meant to enhance this crowd.

I make my way around the outside of the crowd, trying to get a read on the situation. The private looks scared, and his gun rattles around in his hand. He isn't pointing it at the crowd, but this crowd isn't far from driving him to it. _This is what Fat King Snow has done to us. _I think to myself. _Here we have the beginnings of rebellion. _

I glance to my left to see what looks like a captain and seven other soldiers pushing through the crowd to reach the steps where the lone private stands. A man a few feet from me yells to the captain as the soldiers maneuver by him.

"For God's sake, take care of your men. If they fire, you must die." The captain turns and nods to the young man.

" I am aware of it.", he responds gruffly.

Once the soldiers have joined the private, the crowd, which has swelled since Gale and I arrived, goes completely insane. Not only is it snow and insults being flung, but now it's food and rocks, and other throwable items. The crowd then begins yelling 'Fire' at the soldiers. The captain who has had his men load their guns is yelling at the crowd to disperse, but getting nowhere. There is a charge in the air. The tightness of anxiety is prevalent in my stomach. I need to find Gale and we need to get out of here before it's too late. I start pushing through the crowd keeping my head up in search of Gale. At one point I slam right into a boy who has wandered in front of me.

"Excuse me.", I say apologetically to the boy who is now holding the shoulder that I ran into. The boy's face shoots a look of horror up at me. The boy has stormy gray eyes. The boy is... "Katniss?", I hiss quietly. She is dressed like a boy from head to toe, this time the clothes she wears are tailored to her size. "What are you doing here?", I ask frantically. This is the last place Katniss should be.

"That's none of your business Mr. Mellark.", she spits back. I note that she only calls me by my last name when she's mad at me, but my main concern now is her safety. I can deal with her wrath later. I grab her by the elbow and spin her around so I can pull her out the back of the crowd. I see a wisp of her long dark hair fall out of the hat, which I assume holds the rest of it. "Let go of me.", she gasps, as she tries to free her arm. My grip is tight though. Eventually, I pull the two of us out of the crowd, and we make our way over to an alleyway between two buildings.

"Katniss.", I say more in relief than anything else now that I have her somewhat separated from the angry mob. This time she manages to wrench her arm away from me.

"How dare you.", she snarls at me. "Don't touch me, you don't get to touch me." I can't help but feel my heart sink. "I don't need your protection.", she continues her venomous assault on me. My eyes nervously wander to the crowd behind her, as they get more and more violent themselves. I see that the soldiers have their guns pointed to the crowd. _I hope Gale is ok. _Katniss, obviously done yelling at me, tries to storm off. I quickly reach out and grab her wrist. She half turns and I see her preparing to fight me off once again; then the guns start firing.

I pull Katniss while she runs at me at the same time. I gather her into my arms, propelling both of us into the the alley once more. I turn so I am shielding her from any potential stray musket balls, my back facing the entrance of the alleyway. Katniss has her face buried in my chest, her hands are grasping at the seams of my coat. I can feel her flinch every time time a shot goes off. I try to suppress my terror over the situation, along with my worry for Gale, and anyone else in the way of those bullets. I distract myself with the feel of Katniss pressed into my body, the feel of her skin as my fingers gently graze the back of her neck in a comforting manner. Katniss seems to be trembling so I begin to talk gently, attempting to soothe her with my words.

"Shh, Katniss. It will be ok, it will be over soon. You're safe with me, I'll protect you always. I promise. Shh." My words seem to be working as I feel her sink farther and farther into me. My arms in turn hold her tighter.

After a few minutes, I realize I haven't heard a gun fire in a while. I try to look over my shoulder, while still keeping Katniss in my arms. I can see bursts of people scattering, clearing the area in front of the Custom House. I bend my head down so my mouth is just grazing the top of Katniss' ear.

"It's over.", I whisper with regret, knowing that she will leave my arms soon. She pulls back, and there is an almost groggy look on her face. My thumb comes up to drag a stray tear that runs down her cheek. However, the look of terror is gone, and that typical Katniss fire is back. She looks at me with an indefinable emotion before her face quickly melds into her 'Peeta scowl'. She pushes herself completely out of my arms.

"Stay away from me.", she yells. I am totally taken aback by the outburst. _she_ was clutching onto me.

"What?", I demand, my confusion quickly turning to anger.

"I don't need you to protect me, I can take care of myself." I just stand there and blink at her momentarily, at a complete loss for words.

"That's funny coming from the girl who was quivering like a leaf, holding onto my coat for dear life.", I manage to spit out after composing myself.

"Damn you.", she growls at me before pushing past me, walking with purpose out of the alley. About five feet out I see her jump a little as she glances to the ground at her right. I walk out behind her to see a young man bleeding from a wound in his stomach. He's alive but just barely. A few people are kneeled down next to him trying to stop the bleeding. Katniss continues to walk away with determination.

"Katniss.", I shout to her, no longer caring who knows she is walking around dressed like a boy. She doesn't turn around or even entertain stopping. "Katniss.", I yell again, "I am getting pretty sick of your irrational anger being directed at me..."

"Oh no!", I hear Katniss gasp. I don't think about what _she_ sees, because all _I_ can see is red.

"Jesus, what now?", I sigh exasperated. My hands find the sides of my head and I pray for the strength to crush my own skull in. Katniss again doesn't turn around, but instead bursts into a sprint stopping about 20 feet away before falling to her knees. I rush up behind her, and the air I had just inhaled becomes stuck in my throat at the sight I see.

In front of Katniss lies Thresh's lifeless body. His head lies in a pool of dark blood, his lips already turning gray. I rush to him, dropping down next to Katniss. It takes me a moment to realize Darius is kneeling on Thresh's other side holding his hand. I don't have to be a healer like Mrs. Everdeen to know it is too late, to know that Thresh Attucks is dead.

"Oh no", I hear Katniss say again, but this time it comes out like a whimper. Her hand reaches down to cup Thresh's right cheek momentarily before her shaky arm, which has lost all its color, pulls away. She turns her head so she is looking down in the direction of my knee. Darius doesn't say anything, but occasionally looks up at Katniss with worry on his face. We sit there silently for quite awhile. I feel sick to my stomach that Thresh lost his life. He was a good man, and someone I would consider a friend. He ran away from a life of slavery only to be brought down by a British musket ball.

_Gale! _I immediately think to myself, and jump to my feet, scanning the area. The few bodies that are already being dragged off the street, and those that still lay on ground do not resemble Gale at all. I take a deep breath, momentarily relieved, but _where_ is he?

"Darius have you seen Gale?" I hold my breath in anticipation. Darius gestures towards the direction of the mobile mob.

"He followed the crowd." I exhale with relief that Gale is ok. I hear Katniss sigh and then catch the shaking of her head out of the corner of my eye. Suddenly she up looks up off into the space in front of her.

"I have to tell Rue.", she states. My eyes snap back down to the man lying on the ground, and my heart starts racing. I know Rue is Thresh's wife. She doesn't know yet that her husband is gone.

"I can go with...", Darius begins before Katniss suddenly looks up at me.

"Peeta will you come with me to Rue's house?" Her voice breaks right at the end, but her face stays like stone. I can't help glancing at Darius who is giving Katniss a forlorn look. He looks up to me and shrugs. I then turn back to Katniss, nodding my assent.

"I'll make sure his body get's to the morgue. I know the man who works there at night, he'll take him no problem." Katniss looks to Darius, she reaches out and covers his unoccupied hand with hers. I see his cheeks lightly redden.

"Thank you Darius." With that I see her put her three middle fingers to her lips, kissing them, before placing them on Thresh's chest right above his once beating heart. Katniss quickly stands, not looking at Thresh again. She stares into my eyes for a moment, her's noticeably glistening with tears, before we begin walking in silence.

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**Sigh!**

**Originally this chapter was supposed to span post the visit to Rue's house, but that would have been crazy long and this already took me too long to publish... Just more for next time I guess.**

**Fun Facts: **

**Unfortunately Thresh Attucks was based off the runaway slave turned sailor Crispus Attucks. He was one of 5 civilians killed during the "Massacre". 6 other civilians were injured during the event. Poor Thresh!**

**The dying young man who startled Katniss as she left the alley was a 17yo ivory turner named Samuel Maverick. He had been standing in the back of the crowd when he was hit by a ricocheting musket ball. He died a few hours later. **

**The young man who had yelled to the captain about controlling his men was 19yo Henry Knox. At the time he was a bookseller, but would go on to be a General during the revolutionary war.**

**Up next: More Boston Massacre and it's aftermath, plus a little Haymitch!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Hi Everyone ~ Thanks for reading, reviewing, following and favoriting... I am so happy you are enjoying the story so far... I will be very interested to hear what you all think about this chapter...**

**Enjoy!**

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The tension is palpable around Katniss and I as we silently walk to inform Rue of her husband's passing. Katniss has maintained being a step ahead of me the whole time. I respect the space, but my eyes have been on her since we left Thresh. Occasionally I catch her carelessly wiping her cheeks. I stare at her without her knowledge and I am utterly confused. I think about the look in her eye when we were on our knees in her sitting room, when I was about to claim her lips with mine. I think about the way she clung to me in the alley while the gunshots were going off, and how my whispers of unconditional protection made her burrow closer. Then I think about the absolute disdain in her eyes when she told me she didn't need me. I can't discern anything from all this except I feel guilty.

I feel guilty. Here I am, about to inform some woman I have never met that the love of her life is dead, and all I can think about is my own petty girl troubles. I begin wondering how Thresh and Rue met, and how they fell in love. Was falling in love as difficult for them? _Does it matter Peeta? He's dead now, what could be more difficult? _I can't take this silence anymore, I have to say something.

"Do you know Rue well?" The anxiety of everything has left me sounding winded. Katniss pauses in her steps momentarily, and I pause along with her, maintaining the distance that she set. She starts walking again, not looking back at me.

"She's... She's my best friend.", her voice cracks. "We don't get to see each other much, she works so hard. She's...", a sob escapes her lips. She slaps her hand over her mouth, to stifle further sound from escaping. I reach for her, not liking to see her in pain. I want to pull her back into my arms and soothe her hurt away, but instead I rest my hand on her shoulder giving it what I hope is a reassuring squeeze. Katniss composes herself quickly and we continue to walk.

Soon we come up to a very small, one floor cedar shingled house. Katniss stops, rolling her shoulders a few times and wiping the remaining tears from her face. She pulls off her hat, and undoes a few pins, allowing her rich brown hair to fall in waves, framing her face and neck. She looks at me, and my breath hitches. Katniss gives me a half smile that doesn't reach her eyes. I nod back at her, giving her the same smile in return. She walks over to the house and knocks loudly on the worn wooden door.

The house is dark, and after about a minute no one answers so Katniss knocks again. I see a glow come from one of the windows and a few seconds later the door opens. A beautiful, very pregnant, petite, dark skinned woman stands in the doorway, her eyes showing signs of being torn from slumber. She blinks a few times at the visitors in front of her.

"Katniss?", her voice laden with sleep. Her eyes traveling between Katniss and I, a look of sheer confusion on her face.

"Hi Rue... Umm can we come in?" Rue's eyes sweep between us once more, before she moves out of the doorway allowing us to enter. The home appears to be a three room house. we walk into a living area with an attached kitchen. All the modest furniture is covered with knitted quilts. The house is tidy, but lived in. It feels cozy and warm. Rue gestures for us to sit, but Katniss just shakes her head. I can see her eyes glistening even in the dim light.

"Katniss?", Rue asks again, "What's wrong?" By the look of terror that has taken over her face, I think she has an idea.

"Rue...there was...umm...", Katniss completely freezes up. She begins shaking, and tears begin falling again. Rue's eyes go wide, and I see her lips quiver.

"Dammit Katniss, tell me!", she shouts, but Katniss can't do anything, except open her mouth and close it repeatedly; her face drowning in tears.

"There was a mob on Kings Street.", I begin, a lump developing in my throat. It is apparent Katniss is not in any state to be telling her best friend this news. Rue looks at me, tears already running down her face. "The soldiers shot into the crowd, some men were killed." Rue's eyes snap back to Katniss.

"Thresh?", she whispers. Katniss walks towards her friend.

"Yes.", Katniss whispers back. Rue becomes hysterical. Katniss pulls Rue into her arms as they both collapse to the floor. Katniss extracts the lantern from Rue's hands, placing it on the floor beside them, then cradles her head in her arms, allowing her to sob into her chest. The look on Katniss' face is that of complete calm. She is here to comfort her friend and she will not fail her task. Katniss is whispering in Rue's ear, her words are quiet and I can't quite make them out, but I see her running her hand over Rue's head, smoothing her dark hair. It takes almost an hour, but Rue's sobs eventually turn to occasional sniffles. However, she still clutches to Katniss, and Katniss holds her tightly in return.

Katniss eventually glances up at me. She gives me a sad smile, but mouths, "Thank you". I give her a small smile back. Eventually, Rue is calm enough, and Katniss and I help her to the quilt covered sofa. Katniss sits with Rue, and I take up a wooden seat across from them, not wanting to impose.

"Oh Katniss, I can't raise a child by myself." She looks to Katniss who cups her face in her hands. "What am I going to do?" Katniss leans down and kisses Rue on the forehead.

"You won't be alone Rue, I promise. I am here for you, Prim will be here for you, Gale will be here for you. We will help you figure everything out. Your beautiful baby will be loved so very much. I swear it." Rue actually manages a small smile at Katniss' words. Rue pulls away from Katniss and leans back into the sofa.

"Thresh was so excited to have a child. A child that would be born free. A child who would not know the life that his parents had.", she sighs wistfully and stares off into the space in front of her. "I remember when I first met Thresh.", she smiles, "It was my duty to collect the fruit from the trees. I was the only one who could climb high enough, and was light enough to walk on the thinnest of branches. I had seen Thresh around the farm before, but he always seemed so unreachable. I had never heard him speak, and he was the size of a giant. Truthfully, he scared me a bit." She chuckles softly. I can't help but smile. "Well, I had just managed to hop from one tree to another, not having to waste the time to climb back down. I am getting myself in place to grab the fruit from the very top when I hear this deep, silky voice booming at me from below. 'My mama told me only birds and angels can fly like you do, so which are you?' I look down and there he is. This tall, quiet man who I had always been so weary of, looking up at me, using his hands to shield his eyes from the midday sun." Stray tears slide down Rue's cheeks, but the smile stays. "So I yell down to him, I say 'I guess I must be a bird.' And you know what he does?" She looks between Katniss and I almost waiting for an answer. "He shakes his head and says. 'Nah you're not a bird, birds are selfish, a bird would have flown off by now, but an angel is as selfless as she is beautiful. An angel stays around to protect those she cares about. You're obviously an angel.' I still remember the feel of my face heating up at his words. So I say back. 'Who am I here to protect?' Thresh thinks on this for a moment before he just shrugs at me and says. 'I don't know, but I hope it's me.' "

Rue's story takes the wind out of me. This is the story about how Thresh won over the love of his life. I have a hard time explaining to myself why my eyes drift over to Katniss, what's even more unnerving is when I look at her she is already looking to me. Her gaze renders me unusually shy and I quickly have to look away.

"That was beautiful.", Katniss says in a breathy voice that makes my stomach tie in knots. I look at Rue, she seems exhausted, her eyes are drooping, and her hand covers her mouth when she yawns. Katniss seems to notice the same thing. "Peeta and I should probably let you get some rest, unless you want us to stay." Rue waves her off.

"No, Katniss, you have done more than enough. I just... I just need some sleep, so I can work out all the particulars in the morning. I think..." She stops mid sentence and her head snaps to me. "Peeta?" I look at her in anticipation, confused by being addressed. "You're PB aren't you?" She begins to chuckle again.

"Yes.", I mutter back to her, my head hung in defeat.

"My husband liked you very much, always had nice things to say about you. Respected you a lot." She smiles and I can't help smiling back. Thresh is the kind of person whose respect I _want_ to earn, the fact that I was successful means the world to me. "And Katniss...", she turns to her, "Why are you dressed that way?" Katniss shakes her head.

"It's a long story.", she mumbles as Rue smiles warmly at her friend.

After some more embraces and words of comfort we finally make the decision to leave. Katniss tells Rue that Darius was bringing Thresh to the morgue. She tells her that she will be around the next day to check on her, and reiterates her offer of anything Rue needs. Rue hugs Katniss one last time for the night, and I am surprised when I receive a strong hug as well. When Katniss is finally sure that it is ok to leave, we walk out the door. We are still quiet, but this time Katniss stays next to me as we walk. It's dark out now and I wonder what has become of the mob from earlier. With several death's on the soldiers' hands I can't imagine they dispersed peacefully.

The silence we walk in now is more comfortable, but there is always tension between us no matter what. I am about to say something, anything really, so I am surprised when Katniss beats me to it.

"What does PB stand for?" _Ugh of all the questions. _I turn my head to look at her only to find a smirk on her face while she studies my reaction. I sigh loudly.

"Gale made it up." I stop there, unrealistically hoping that will end this whole conversation. She raises an eyebrow at me, letting me know I have divulged not nearly enough. I close my eyes before I speak. "It's short for Pretty Boy."

I don't hear any sound coming from Katniss, so I force myself to open my eyes and look at her. She is staring at me, her mouth wide open and there's amusement in her eyes. Before I can say anything else she breaks out into hysterical laughter. I want to tell her to stop, but I can't find the conviction to do it. I am entranced by the sound. I have never heard a more beautiful sound in my entire life, and I have heard her sing. It's not like this is the first time I have heard Katniss laugh, but tonight it runs through me, speaks to me in a way I have never been spoken to before. I think of a world where I couldn't hear that sound again and the wind leaves my lungs. I could have lost this tonight. I could have lost that sound, I could have lost her. If I hadn't found her in that crowd, it could have been me making sure her body gets to the morgue. It could have been me who would have to tell young Prim that her sister was dead. These thoughts swirl around my head and bring me to the brink of a panic attack. I feel the sting of tears picking the back of my eyes. I could have lost her, over what? Why was she even there? I realize I have stopped moving. Katniss has moved ahead, obviously unaware that I am at a standstill. I watch her walk away and I can't help thinking about her leaving for good, never to come back again. What has this girl done to me?

"You can't do that again.", I yell to her retreating form. She swivels around and looks taken aback by the distance between us.

"Can't do what?" She cocks her head to the side and looks at me, not bothering to close the distance.

"What you did today. Showing up, dressed like that, walking into a mob. You could have been hurt or... worse." I swallow against a dry throat. Katniss' eyes go wide, and that scowl is back.

"Oh. And what about you? You were in the same mob I was. So it's ok for you to put yourself in harm's way, to go off gallivanting, to socialize with... with... _whores!?" _She spits the word at me, and I am completely taken off guard. Is that what this has been about? Was she coming to spy on me? Was Katniss...jealous? _Focus Mellark!_

"It doesn't matter what I do." I say softly.

"Oh and why is that, because you're not a girl, or young, or..."

"No!". I yell at her, "Because I don't matter like you matter." My breathing is rapid, and my heart is trying to escape the cage of my chest. Katniss looks at me completely dumbfounded. Her brow is furrowed and she is biting her bottom lip.

"Why didn't you stay with me today?", she asks in a whisper I barely catch. I look down at the ground.

"Why didn't you ask me to?" I don't look up at her until I hear the sound of her footsteps rushing towards me. When I do look at her all I can see are the two hurricanes that are her eyes. I have no idea what to expect from her. Before I can even guess she's already in front of me. Her hands go to my shoulders and with a light push she hoists herself up, wrapping her legs around my waist. I instinctually wrap my arms under her bottom to stabilize her. For a split second I look at her confused before her lips are on mine.

The softness of her perfect lips press hard into mine. My whole body is on fire. Her fingers tangle into my hair, knocking my hat to the ground. She pulls at my curls and tilts her head to deepen the kiss. I can't help but moan against her mouth. This seems to spur Katniss on and the kiss becomes more savage, more filled with need. Her tongue slides slowly into my mouth coaxing my tongue to come play. I have never been kissed this way before, and the feel of it sends shivers down my spine. My blood pools low in my abdomen, and I feel myself hardening.

Katniss' legs grip tightly around my waist, her center dangerously close to the cause of my tightening pants. I keep one hand under her in support, and begin to drag my other hand around the curve of her butt, and along her leg until it curves around my back. From here I move back to her waist and slowly skim my hand up her side, along her back, and up her neck combing my fingers into her soft hair at the back of her skull. I bring her head even closer to my own. This time it's Katniss that moans. She pulls away eventually to get in little gasps of air, before returning to claim my lips once again.

"Thank you for the painting.", she mumbles against my mouth. "I loved it." I smile against her lips. "I'm not going to marry you though." A laugh escapes my lips before I go in to kiss her again.

"Don't worry, I wasn't going to ask." I say as my kisses move down her jaw to her neck. Katniss pulls away and looks at me.

"Well why ever not?" A smile plays on her now very red and swollen lips, but there is real curiosity in her eyes.

"You don't strike me as the marrying type.", I tell her with a shrug and a smirk on my face.

"Ahh, so it's not that you find me _difficult_?" There is sincerity is her joking and I find it adorable. I look her up and down, pretending to size her up.

"You, Miss Everdeen, difficult?" I scoff dramatically at her suggestion. She slaps me on the shoulder before leaning in to chastely kiss my lips.

"Put me down.", she whispers against my lips. "I want to go home."

"Yes ma'am." I reluctantly release my hold on her and she slides to the ground. She smiles shyly at me and we begin to walk towards home.

Is Katniss Everdeen difficult? More than anyone could imagine. She makes me insane, makes me want to crush my own skull because that would be so much less frustrating than dealing with her sometimes, but I lied to her. I would marry her in a second. She is beautiful and brazen. She is intelligent and stubborn. She is kind and determined. She's... complicated, and I would spend the rest of my life letting her drive me completely insane if I could just call her mine. I have no idea if what just happend means anything to her, or if it was the result of stress from the day. I know she was jealous earlier. I know that there is a constant tension between us, but Katniss Everdeen belongs to no one and she's made that perfectly clear. This doesn't stop me however from entwining my fingers with hers as we walk.

As we head up the road to the house, my thoughts land on the events of today. I wonder if Gale made it home alright. He is just as ridiculous as Katniss. We walk up the back stairs, and through the door that leads to the kitchen. Sitting at the table are a very distressed Prim and Mrs. Everdeen. They both look up at us at the same time, then both glance down to our tangles hands moments before we think to let go.

"Katniss.", her mother hisses, "What did you think you were doing, leaving the house like that, involving yourself with those rioters? You could have been killed."

"How...?", Katniss begins

"Darius came by.", Mrs. Everdeen continues

"He told us about Thresh.", Prim says with tears in her eyes. She runs to her sister wrapping her arms around her waist. "Poor Rue.", she says quietly. Katniss smooths her sister's hair with her fingers, calming her in the same way she did to Rue earlier.

"Gale has been arrested." I turn to Mrs. Everdeen shocked by her admission. "I can't get him 'til tomorrow morning."

"I'll go with you.", Katniss offers.

"I think you have done quite enough. I can't imagine what people are going to say about you.", Mrs. Everdeen sighs.

"No one even knew who I was.", Katniss protests."Peeta saw to that, he pulled me away from the crowd as soon as he figured out it was me." Mrs. Everdeen turns to me.

"Thank you Peeta, for being the sense that my daughter lacks." She nods to me. I don't say anything in return, not wanting to anger either Everdeen. "Go to bed Katniss.", she turns back to her daughter, "If you wish to come with me tomorrow, you be in appropriate attire and ready to go by eight" With that she turns and heads to her own bedroom. Katniss is still consoling a mournful Prim. I stand silently next to them, not sure what I should be doing at this moment. Katniss reaches a hand out to grab mine. She squeezes it once and gives me a small smile, before she pulls Prim towards their room for the night.

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Early the next morning I head to the docks. With Gale unable to work today I want to be able to get some money to the Everdeens. When the docks are in sight I see they are saturated with red coats. _This doesn't look good. _I move closer and see Darius heading towards me.

"No work today, Peeta. They're not letting anyone in the harbor. Probably has to do with yesterday." His voice is clipped as he talks to me. I sigh. These soldiers don't seem to understand that yesterday was a warning. Their oppression isn't going to go over like they think it is. I tell Darius to have a good day and head home. When I make it inside the Everdeen woman are sitting down for breakfast.

"Peeta.", Katniss calls to me a tad bit overenthusiastically.

"Morning ladies", I return.

"Trouble at the docks?", Mrs. Everdeen asks. I nod, and she shakes her head. "Well if you would like to accompany us into town you may." She smiles. Both Prim and Katniss do a poor job at masking their wishes on the subject. I smile.

"Of course, I would love to come."

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We walk to the jail near the courthouse. Mrs. Everdeen asks the girls to stay outside, and then asks me to keep an eye on them. She is about to ascend the stairs of the jail when the large door opens. First person I see is Gale, but next to him is none other than Haymitch Abernathy. The two men seem to be having quite a jovial conversation as they walk down the stairs.

When Mrs. Everdeen sees this she puts her hands on her hips and scowls, a scowl I know Katniss has inherited. Both men see the less than happy woman at the bottom of the stairs. I can see Gale gulp from where I stand. Mr. Abernathy pulls Gale towards him, whispering something in his ear, before the older man takes the lead down, heading towards Mrs. Everdeen.

"Lily.", he greets with familiarity.

"Haymitch.", she returns curtly

"Quite a boy you've raised here." The man says gesturing at Gale. Mrs. Everdeen pins her scowl to Gale once again.

"I can't take all the credit.", she says her eyes not wavering from Gale's. Mr. Abernathy lets out a laugh.

"Well, I must be going. Nice to see you all." He nods to all the ladies, then to myself. "Mr. Hawthorne, I hope we can speak again soon." Gale nods in return, and the older man walks off down the street.

"How do you know that man, Mama?", Prim asks.

"His wife was a dear friend of mine. I was also with them both when her and the child she was carrying died in childbirth." With that Mrs. Everdeen walks off, leaving the rest of us to follow, knowing full well that there will be no more questions for today.

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**Well Mrs. Everdeen is a little peeved huh?**

**Fun Facts: One I forgot to add last chapter - For anyone who is familiar with Boston - Kings street where the Boston Massacre took place in now what is known as State Street. Check it out if you are ever in town.**

**Also... Even though 'French Kissing' wasn't really a thing until the beginning of the 1900's, I'm going to make a call and say no matter what time period it is Everlark ALWAYS use tongues! ;) (Maybe she learned it from her dirty books! hee hee)**

**Thanks so much for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

**I want to say thank you to all my readers, you make this so much fun to do!**

**I wanted to apologize for this chapter being a little late, it was a crazy week, plus how can I be expected to write when I have a new chapter of 'Mockings Hall' by TomiStaccato to read... If you haven't read this story, please do... The new chapter is out-f'n-standing...**

**I do not own the Hunger Games, but I do think Suzanne Collins is a genius...and I may have thrown in one or two cannon lines this chapter all of which are the work of SC**

**Enjoy**

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**March, 1770**

The walk home is uncomfortably quiet. I hang in the back of the pack with Gale. When I glance up at him, he gives me a look that says "_later"_. I understand why Mrs. Everdeen is upset, she could have lost two children last night. Then there was that awkward moment with Mr. Abernathy. I wonder what that was all about? Through all of this her expression is not mournful or upset, instead it is fierce. She walks with such force that I await flames to burst forth from her heels. However, my eyes, more often than not, fall on the eldest Everdeen girl. Her head is down and her shoulders are slumped as she walks in line behind her mother. I would give anything to know what she's thinking.

Once back in the dusty rose colored residence, Mrs. Everdeen removes her gloves and bonnet, releasing her golden blonde hair. She gives the four of us an appraising look.

"I am going to my room to lie down, you are all to stay out of trouble." Her eyes narrow, and her icicle stare penetrates all of us, leaving us shivering.

Once is securely in her room, we stand completely still for what seems like forever, when suddenly and almost in unison, both girls advance on Gale, crashing into either side of him in an embrace, their hands overlapping at his midsection.

"Gale, we were so worried about you.", Prim pushes out in the midst of her heavy tears.

"Primmy, I'm fine, everything's fine. I'm not hurt." His large hand smooths its way up and down the crying girl's back.

"You could have been hurt, you could have been...", Prim trails off; now it is Katniss' turn to begin crying.

"Shh, what's gotten into you two, I'm fine, everything is fine." Katniss lifts her head to him, she looks like she wants to say something, but simply can't find the words.

"Thresh is dead.", I blurt out, knowing that these were the words still lodged in Katniss' throat. Gale turns to me, his mouth wide open, dropping his arms to his sides. Katniss and Prim back away, giving him the space to process.

"What?", he asks me unbelieving, but I can already see a sheen appearing over his eyes.

"When the soldiers shot into the crowd, he was hit. He was dead before he hit the ground." I keep my voice as calm as possible. Gale drags a hand through his hair. His head turns towards Katniss.

"Rue?", he asks.

"Peeta... Peeta and I went to see her last night.", Katniss is gasping for the breath that the tears are taking from her. Gale looks to me again and nods his appreciation. Prim who has been nearly hysterical, is shaking now. Katniss takes her sister into her arms and leads her to their shared room. When she reaches the hallway she looks back, locking her eyes on mine, she doesn't scowl and she doesn't smile, she just stares. My stomach is in knots before she turns away

Gale seems too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice the exchange between Katniss and I. At some point Gale and I are going to have to have some sort of conversation about the girl who is basically his sister, but before then I am going to have a conversation with Katniss herself. A talk about where we stand, what we are, and what she wants. I know what I want, I hope she wants the same.

We walk into my bedroom, Gale shuts the door behind us. I sit back on my bad and he slumps into the wooden chair by the desk. His head falls into his hands.

"What happened?" I figure that's a good place to start. Gale sighs, scrubbing his face with his hands before he looks up at me.

"I had pushed my way up to the front of the crowd. Everyone was pressing towards the steps. Some fools from behind me were yelling 'fire'. That's when Mr. Palmes, the innkeeper comes strutting up to the stairs with a cudgel. He began having some words with the captain. After that everything went insane. Something flew through the crowd knocking down some private. When he got up it sounded like he was screaming 'Damn you fire'. That's when the shots started. Mr. Palmes started hitting the private with the cudgel." Gale is shaking his head in disbelief.

"Once the shots ceased the crowd started moving. I don't know what got into me. I wasn't thinking about where you were, or if anyone had been killed. All I could think was that these damn lobsters needed to pay. So I moved with the crowd. We all ended up in front of the state house. Captain Preston, I think his name is, had a bunch of men guarding there. People were angry, but quiet. I couldn't take the quiet anymore so I just started railing against it all. Against this occupation, against our lack of rights as British citizens, against... everything. The crowd started getting behind me, egging me on. That's when I was detained by a group of soldiers.

"At this point Governor Hutchinson had come onto the balcony and he seemed to settle the crowd down, promising an inquiry into the events of the night. This seemed to appease most, and everyone started moving along home. I was thrown in jail for the night for disturbing the peace and trying to incite a riot." He gives a heavy sigh, rolling his head back to stare at the ceiling.

"Where does Haymitch Abernathy play into all of this?" Gale initially answers my question with a smirk

"He was at the state house apparently, though I never saw him. He heard what I said, and he came to bail me out the next morning, had the charges dropped and everything. He told me that four others were arrested as well but that their charges were much more serious. Haymitch said he liked my passion and that I seemed intelligent for a dockworker." Gale shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

"Anyways, he invited me to a meeting for people like me who want change. Haymitch told me if I knew any other dockworkers with brains I should bring them with me. I could only think of one person like that.", he slaps my back, "Would that be something you'd be interested in?" He looks to me expectantly. Am I interested? Hell yeah, I am interested! I've heard whispers of Haymitch Abernathy and his fabled Sons of Liberty. I find myself beaming at the opportunity.

"Of course I'm interested." And with that, Gale truly smiles for the first time since we've been home.

* * *

The meeting is on the following Friday evening at the Green Dragon Tavern on Union Street. As we enter the dimly lit tavern, Gale walks up to the bartender whispering something in his ear. The bartender nods and points to a door at the back of the bar. I follow Gale. The door leads to a room about half the size of the main tavern area. The room is well lit. Wooden benches clutter the middle of the windowless space.

There are already quite a few men in the room. Most of them appear to be dressed in their best, some of them coming across as stuffy. Very few are dressed as commonly as Gale and I are. I spot an empty bench and motion for Gale to follow me. At the front of the room I see Mr. Abernathy engaged in a lively discussion with three other men. He glances over his shoulder and locks eyes with me briefly before looking at Gale to my left. I see him excuse himself from the group and make his way over to us.

"Mr. Hawthorne, so glad you could make it, and you brought a friend." He nods to me a half smirk on his face.

"Mr. Abernathy." Gale begins. "This is..."

"Enough with the Mr. Abernathy, just Haymitch." The older man convey's gruffly. He begins patting his coat as if trying to locate something, he then pulls a small flask out of an inside pocket before turning his attention back to Gale.

"Haymitch.", Gale corrects, "This is Peeta Mellark." Haymitch turns fully to me and extends his hand, I grasp it firmly. Suddenly Haymitch's eyes narrow as he looks at me.

"Peeta Mellark is it?"

"Sir?"

"You wouldn't happen to be _the _Peeta Mellark who was in fat old Heavensbee's class would you." Now I am the one who is confused.

"I am sir."

"Sweet Hell.", he takes another pull from his flask, "I have read some of your papers, brilliant most of it."

"You've read my papers?"

"Plutarch has quite the infatuation with you, bragged about you constantly. Plutarch is one of more silent members, but he loves to recruit." He shakes his head and lets out a barking laugh. "You kind of fell off the face of the Earth from what I heard, but here you are standing in front of me...huh?" He rubs his chin with his hand a few times before drinking from his flask once more. "So how did you go from Harvard elite to dockworker?" I am still reeling from that idea that I was known by Haymitch Abernathy of all people, but I start with my mother and brother moving to Nova Scotia and ending with the Everdeen's taking me in. Haymitch does nothing but nod at the appropriate times, and when I'm finished he sums it up with a "Hmm interesting." Then he walks off joining the group he was with before.

The main meeting topic is what's now being called "The Bloody Massacre on Kings Street." Apparently the name was penned by a silversmith named Paul Revere. The Sons of Liberty, though not responsible for the "Massacre", believe that civilian participation shows that colonist are ripe to the idea of war against the crown. They continue referencing to an incident of violence in New York between the Sons of Liberty and the British troops now known as the Battle of Golden Hill.

The idea of war puts me on edge, but at the same time, British occupation is not ending anytime soon. What happened on Kings Street will happen again, I don't doubt that for a second. The meeting concludes but it doesn't seem like much has been accomplished. Men begin milling around the area forming small groups around the wooden benches. I look to Gale not sure what we should do now, when Haymitch's hand is suddenly on Gale's shoulder.

"Gale Hawthorne, I'd like you to meet someone." Gale turns to face Haymitch and a tall man with brown hair. "This is Benjamin Edes, Publisher of the Boston Gazette, he wanted to talk to you about your experience the other night."

"Mr. Hawthorne." The tall man extends his hand, to which Gale takes without hesitation.

"It's nice to meet you sir.", Gale answers. Edes then proceeds to lead Gale off to the side of the room.

"Follow me boy.", I hear Haymitch gruffly whisper in my ear. I turn to him and he gestures that I follow. He leads me through a door to the left of the room. It reveals a much smaller storeroom. Haymitch lights a lantern which gives off an ominous glow. The light makes Haymitch's gray eyes look like they are on fire.

"Ok let's cut through the horseshit.", Haymitch stares me down, "Do you want to continue being a dock worker or would you like to get yourself a real job?"

"Sir?", Is all I can get out, not sure how to answer the question. Haymitch sighs.

"I've seen what you are capable of, and you come highly recommended by Plutarch, and Plutarch doesn't care for anyone really. You are young, good looking. Your Torrie mom deserted you, making it so you had to befriend the common man, which you seem to have done with ease. Between your speech writing, speech making and your ability to get people to like you, I must say you could be quite the commodity to this cause." He has definitely piqued my interest.

"I'm listening." I make sure my voice sounds cautious instead of the excited I am really feeling.

"We have you make some speeches to colonists, meet the people, let them know they aren't alone, that there are those amongst them that are working towards change. You'll travel throughout the colonies, preach to them about unity, organization and patriotism. You can let them know what they can do to help." He drags a hand through his hair. "I'll be honest with you, what happened on Kings Street couldn't have been better for the cause, the winds are changing Peeta. With that said, we can't attempt to fight a war when we have random civilians going off half cocked with no sort of strategy. All that is going to do is get good people killed. You can prevent that." Haymitch's eyes peer into mine, his face is serious. He doesn't know me well enough to know he hit the nail right on the head with me. I don't want innocent people to die. Colonists need to be informed, need to prepared. I have no other answer for Haymitch besides.

"Yes, I'll do it.", I say with all the determination I can muster. Haymitch nods and then smiles.

* * *

Gale is ecstatic when I tell him the news. Gale himself had been offered a recruiter job. He will be talking to people of a lower station then the majority of the Sons of Liberty, which is comprised mostly of the wealthy and educated.

I can't help the wide grin on my face as we head home, until something hits me, in the heart, hard... _Katniss_. It's not till Gale looks at me with a solemn gaze. that I realize I said her name out loud.

"You really care about her don't you?"

"Yes."

"When are you going to tell her?" I think on this. I know she will be asleep by the time we get home, she is going hunting tomorrow.

"I guess I'll try to talk to her tomorrow." Gale nods to me.

"You're a good man, Peeta.", he gives me a sad smile. We are silent the rest of the way.

* * *

I barely get any sleep, not wanting to miss Katniss before she goes hunting, knowing it will be one of the rare times I can get her alone. We still haven't discussed the kiss, or how we feel. Footsteps above me tear me from my light slumber. I quickly get dressed and make my way upstairs.

When I enter the kitchen, Katniss is at the table sipping tea. the scene reminiscent of that first morning. When she looks up at me she gives me a shy smile.

"Good morning Peeta.", she says in between sips.

"Morning Katniss.", her name comes out of my mouth in a breathy voice. _Get yourself together Mellark. _I am suddenly nervous, a disturbing trend when I am around Katniss. She seems to sense my anxiety, knitting her eyebrows together and giving me a small frown.

"What's wrong?" She stands, walking over to me. I know I should just tell her, just get it over with. Tell her about the great opportunity I have received, but as soon as her hand wraps around my arm, I'm a goner. So I say the next best thing.

"Can I accompany you hunting today?" Her eyes widen at my request and she steps back, observing me.

"Sure.", a hesitant smile follows. We spend the next few moments collecting items and food. I grab my sketch book, knowing I'm not going to be much help once we actually get to the hunting.

The area of woods she brings me too is beautiful. It is evergreen heavy, with an occasional oak or maple with branches which are just starting to show the green buds of new growth. The past week has been unseasonably warm and the last of the winter snow has melted away, giving the ground a little give.

We walk further and further into the woods around Bunker Hill, the only sound is the crackling under my feet. It becomes blatantly obvious that only _my_ heavy footfalls are causing noise, when I see Katniss who is walking ahead cringe every time she hears a _crunch. _Eventually she's had enough. She sighs loudly and her shoulders slump. She turns to me.

"Peeta.", she gives me a smile which I assume is supposed to be sweet. "Must you make as much noise as possible when you walk?" I can't help but chuckle. I have no right being out here.

"I'm sorry, how about I sit here and sketch and you go do your mighty huntress business, and we can come back together to eat?" She seems satisfied with my suggestion, letting out a small giggle before wandering off deeper into the brush. I spread out the large blanket we brought at the base of a tree and settle down, sketchbook in hand.

The hours pass like minutes as I take in the pre-spring motif. I am just finishing the final touch on a sketch of an early dandelion when I hear a scream.

"Peeta!" Before I know it I am on my feet and charging towards the sound of her voice. "Peeta!" My heart is pounding in my ears. "Peeta!" Suddenly she is in front of me. My mind doesn't even register the large smile on her face when I lift her into my arms, gripping her tightly.

"Are you ok?", I breathe into the crook of her neck.

"Peeta?" I look up at her puzzled face. Her slender fingers gently move through my curls. "I'm fine.", she finally says. I suddenly feel foolish, knowing I have overreacted. I place her back down on the ground.

"I heard you yell, I thought you were hurt." Her face takes on an expression of gratitude mixed with something else I can't quite place.

"I'm sorry Peeta, It wasn't my intention to worry you. I was calling you because...", she gestures for me to look behind her, when I do my eyes widen in surprise. There, lying stone dead on the ground, is a large buck, at least 200 pounds from what I can tell.

"Holy... Katniss how the... wow." I am stunned by the sheer size of this kill.

"I was calling to you because it would be impossible for me to carry him back on my own.", she admits sheepishly. I nod to her in understanding. I manage with her help to secure the buck around my shoulders. We slowly make our way back to the tree I was waiting at with Katniss spotting me. When we arrive, I happily remove the burden from my shoulders. Katniss regards me reverently.

Completely wasted, I drop myself down on the blanket. Katniss moves behind me and kneels. She begins to rub my shoulders. The perfect pressure she's applying makes my head roll back and a moan tear from my mouth. I look up to see her smiling. After a few more moments of this she releases her luscious grip and begins setting up food for us to eat. Every once in awhile I see her gleam at the buck that is lying about 20 feet away.

Our meal consists mainly of bread, jerky and shy smiles. When we have finished, she puts away whatever remains and then quickly moves in front of me, lying her head in my lap. This is the closest we have been since our kiss at the beginning of the week. I undo her braid splaying her hair out so it covers my lap completely. I run my idle fingers from her scalp down to her tips, she lets out a content sigh, her eyes flutter shut. I lean my own head against the tree bark, tipping my gaze up to the sky willing myself to just tell her.

"I have to tell you something." I begin ramming the back of my head into the bark for courage. Katniss' eyes open and she peers up at my from her lying position. "I... I was offered an opportunity."

"Oh?" She cranes her neck so she can see my face better.

"Yeah." I rub the bridge of my nose. "Haymitch Abernathy wants me to start talking with colonists about getting organized, so everyone is on the same page, so what happened Monday doesn't happen again." Katniss sits up quickly her molasses colored hair falling in waves around her face as she faces me smiling widely. I push away the rogue strand thats fallen in front of her face, resting it behind her ear.

"Oh my God Peeta, that is incredible! You said 'yes' of course?" She looks concerned momentarily.

"Of course.", I answer, and her face softens

"Good.", she says as her head finds its way back to my lap. "When do you start?"

"He wants me to start this coming Friday."

"Where around Boston will you be speaking?"

"I'm not sure yet." I take a large breath, yet I feel like I havent taken in nearly enough air. "But it won't just be places in Boston."

"Oh, will you be going to other places around Massachusetts Bay? That makes sense."

"Sure...and well basically... basically he wants me to umm... He wants me to travel through all the thirteen colonies. We will need everyone to cooperate." I watch Katniss' eyes fall from me to begin staring forward.

"Oh." The word is as fragile as glass when it hits the air. We are both silent for a moment. I hear Katniss intake a shaky breath. "That's... That's great Peeta, really. You are going to make such a difference, truly you are. I...", she trails off as she starts fiddling nervously with a strand of hair.

"What?", I ask, needing her to continue. She shakes her head.

"It's nothing, I'm just...I'm just so happy for you." She cranes her head and I am surprised to see that her smile is genuine. Silence overtakes us again. I lean my head back against the tree and close my eyes, my fingers absentmindedly running through her dark locks.

"What are we Katniss?" I don't have the courage to look at her.

"What do you mean?", Katniss asks insincerely.

"I mean... What am I to you?" Silence.

"We're friends of course.", she says matter-of-factly after a long pause. I take this opportunity to look at her again, my face smattered with disbelief. Our eyes lock for a second before she quickly looks away her cheeks burning red. Silence again. I lay my head back against the tree, feeling completely out of sorts. Then suddenly I hear her whisper.

"I don't think I can be anything else for you right now." I wait for her words to devastate me, but they don't. I care so deeply for this girl whose silken hair weaves through my hands, but I can't offer her all I want, at least not yet. I am about to go away for an undetermined amount of time. She's not ready. I'm not ready. Her answer is a relief. I feel myself smile, she must notice.

"What?", she asks. I look down into her stormy eyes.

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever." I don't know where my confident words come from, this is not how I usually am in front of her. I wait for her to laugh, or roll her eyes, Hell, maybe even scowl, but she doesn't her eyes never leave mine.

"Okay.", she whispers. I can't help but smile wider.

"So, Miss Everdeen, you'll allow it?" She nods her head.

"I'll allow it." The silence between us is finally comfortable.

* * *

After lazily lying around for about an hour or two more, we collect our things, get the buck back to the cart, prepare it and head home. I drive the cart, and Katniss lays her head on my shoulder. It feels peaceful.

When we pull up to the house I go to exit the cart, but Katniss grabs my arm, pulling me back.

"Hey.", she says before pressing her lips to mine. The kiss is gentle, the antithesis to our last one. Warmth fills my chest, and I smile against her lips. "Remember me?" She pulls away from my mouth only slightly so that when she speaks her lips still drag against mine. Her tone is hopeful.

"Always.", I say back.

* * *

The following Friday I meet Haymitch at the Green Dragon Inn. We have gone over most of the particulars during the week. I'll be paid generously for my contribution to the cause. I have already arranged that everything I don't need for living expenses goes straight to the Everdeens. I owe them so much.

When I arrive I find Haymitch, drink already in hand. He gives me a half smile when I come into view. He helps close the distance and extends his hand. I take it, hoping my nerves won't show. He eyes me up and down one more time. a strange glint in his eye.

"So kid,", he chuckles, "you ready to be the mouthpiece of a rebellion?"

* * *

**Ahh how Mockingjay should have been...**

**Fun Facts:**

**A ****cudgel is a club**

******All names (that weren't cannon) were real people who were doing the things I said they did... (Didn't want you to think I was being funny with the Governors last name ;) )**

******During later trials involved with the 'Boston Massacre' a depiction made by Paul Revere of the incident was used as evidence in court to show where bodies lay, even though Paul Revere (A member of the Sons of Liberty) was not present during the incident.**

**Thanks for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**To all my readers... Thank you so very much. You. Rock. My. World.**

**And a double thanks to HGRomance whose "Intermission" chapter of 'Rebel' inspired this chapter, but also for taking a look at this chapter and helping me to *FINALLY* get it to a place that I am happy with.**

**Speaking of 'Rebel'... If you are like one of the 5 people who haven't read it, please for the love of God stop what you are doing and go read it...like right now...then...umm...umm...please come back and read my chapter... Thanks! ;)**

**Please let me know what you think... Enjoy!**

* * *

**1770**

Dear Katniss,

I am writing this letter while sitting in a tavern in New York City. This place is much bigger than Boston. A good portion of the population stays loyal to the crown, but you can see the cracks in their resolve from miles away. People have become weary since the the incident on Golden Hill, though they don't have as much fire in them as those of us from Massachusetts. It will be interesting to see where they stand in the end.

I made my first appearance just a few weeks ago. It was a public meeting of the Sons of Liberty; non-members were allowed to attend. I was so nervous that I shook like a leaf. I got through it by imagining I was speaking to Prim. How could anyone be nervous speaking to her?

I am staying as a guest at the home of Alexander McDougall. He is a privateer here in New York, and a member of the Sons of Liberty. He also happens to be in jail, accused of libel that is thought to have caused the Battle of Golden Hill.

A group of rather intoxicated gentlemen have begun serenading the tavern, but they have nothing on you. I miss the sound of your voice.

Please tell me of home. How is your mother, Prim and Gale? How are you? I do hope you are well.

Affectionately,

Peeta

* * *

Dear Peeta,

We are all very well, thank you for asking. Prim and Mother send their love. My mother wants to make sure you are eating right and that you are getting enough sleep. Gale is living up to his new position. It has given him the courage to at least say more than two words to Miss Undersee. Her father, from what I hear, is also a member of the Sons of Liberty. It will be interesting to see where it goes from here.

You will be happy to hear that Rue had a beautiful baby girl, who I swear was born smiling. She named her Pearl. It was the first birth I had ever witnessed, and believe me when I say it will be my last. Thank goodness I do not plan on having children, the whole process is absolutely barbaric. I have been staying with Rue most days during the week, which I love. Her child is so precious, and I treasure the time I am able to spend with Rue.

I am so thrilled that you are well, we miss you around here.

I miss you.

Tell me something about yourself that I do not yet know. What is your favorite color? Please satisfy my curiosity with a quick reply.

Please stay safe,

Katniss

* * *

Dear Katniss,

My favorite color is sunset orange if you must know. Is there anything else you would like to know? I would be happy to answer it. I am going to take a stab in the dark and guess that your favorite color is green. I surmise this because of the way I see you staring longingly at the green leaves on the trees you had me sketch so many times. Am I correct?

I am so happy that Rue had her baby, and that they are both doing well. I will be sending along something for mother and daughter. If you don't mind getting it to them I would greatly appreciate it. Speaking of babies, why are you so opposed to having children? Time to feed _my_ curiosity Miss Everdeen.

I am headed to Pennsylvania in the morning, and am not sure when I can write again, but just give any response to the courier and he will see that I get it. His name is Mark. He is one of Haymitch's men and I have been assured that our letters will be safe. Please keep writing. It makes being away less lonely. Please let your mother know that I am taking care of myself.

Affectionately,

Peeta

* * *

Dear Peeta,

Yes my favorite color is green. You are much too observant. That kind of observance can leave a girl feeling vulnerable to wondering what else she has given away with seemingly innocent acts.

As for your question of children, that is easily explained. I wish to never get married, therefore children are not in my cards. Plus what kind of mother would I be? I am simply disagreeable on my best days, and fiercely stubborn on my worst. I don't know if I have the compassion needed to nurture babes. By the way, Rue loved the blanket you sent. It was absolutely divine. You are a good man.

Tell me of Pennsylvania, tell me everything, tell me how you are doing. I miss you so much that, at times, I find I can't sleep. I so very much hope you are well.

Every time I see a sunset I think of you.

Please stay safe,

Katniss

* * *

Dear Katniss,

One day you are going to meet a man who is going to change your stance on marriage, mark my words, and he will be the luckiest man alive.

As for your aversion to motherhood and your thoughts on your own maternal instincts, I must respectfully disagree with you. Yes, you are more stubborn than any woman I know, but I find it extremely endearing. Also, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you, Miss Everdeen, love more intensely than anyone I have ever met. You are a strong and capable young woman who cares deeply for her family. I see the way you dote on Prim and watch out for Gale. I saw the way you held Rue that night, putting aside your own sorrow to absorb hers. I see the way you admire your mother, a mother who you are so much like. I can just picture you with little Pearl, and I smile. You are going to be an amazing mother. I simply hope you one day let in a young man who will prove me right.

Pennsylvania is a lovely place. It is beautiful and rich with foliage. You would love it here.

I have met a great many people; a few of them are Quakers. You would enjoy their company immensely. They are very much advanced in their way of thinking. They believe women and people of color are no different than the stuffy old man who likes to think himself superior. They stay true to their beliefs while maintaining a kindness I have seen in too few.

Most of the colonists here are against the king's tyranny and are not opposed to war. The more and more I speak to these people, the more I begin to believe that war is inevitable. I just fear our inability to defend ourselves properly against the greatest army in the world, but this does not seem to dampen these people's fire. I admire their confidence.

I wish I wasn't such a coward.

I will admit that I am not saddened to know that you are thinking of me, but I would never wish to disrupt your sleep; you are much too disagreeable without it. However, I know what you mean, everything reminds me of you.

I eagerly await your next letter.

Affectionately,

Peeta

* * *

Dear Peeta,

You have sold me on Pennsylvania. The sketches you sent are enticing, please send more. I am resolved to move there and become a Quaker. It sounds like the perfect place for me. Would there be a chance I could see you if I do?

Do you have any idea how long you will be away? I think about you every time I go hunting. Sometimes the quiet is too much and I yearn for someone to stomp on a twig.

In response to your last letter; first of all you are no coward. You are one of the bravest men I know. And secondly what if I have already found that person, but that stubbornness you find so endearing is getting in the way?

I miss you.

Stay safe,

Katniss

* * *

**1771**

Dear Katniss,

I am incredibly sorry this letter has taken so long. Between engagements, meetings, traveling and Haymitch I barely have a moment to myself. I wake up at dawn and normally don't find my bed again until late into the night. Please forgive me.

I think of you as I fall asleep, and you are the first thought I have when I wake up. Sometimes I find myself looking at sketches of you or re-reading your letters just to keep myself sane. Sometimes that isn't enough and I often ache to smell the sunshine in your hair.

I am in Maryland now. They are opening a theater soon in Annapolis. The building is made completely of brick. I am told it is the first of its kind in the colonies. Maybe one day we can see a show together here.

They have begun having me write speeches not just for myself, but others as well. I wrote most of a speech for a man by the name of Thomas Johnson who is a strong voice in our cause here in Maryland. It was an honor.

I was hoping to be able to come home soon, but alas it appears I am going to be continuing my trek south. I can see that I am doing good work out here, but it doesn't mean that I do not long for home, especially one specific aspect.

I hope you forgive me enough to write to me again. Your letters are all I have and I cherish every single one of them. I have enclosed some sketches of the harbor in Baltimore.

Affectionately,

Peeta

* * *

Dear Peeta,

I am still a little mad at you, but ultimately I am relieved that you are alright. All that time without word was almost too much to bare. I was not sure if you were sick or hurt, so when I received your letter you can imagine the relief for not just myself, but Prim, Mother and Gale. I never show them your letters though, I guess I want you all to myself. Mother is the only one who does not seem curious as to the letter's contents. She cares about you a great deal, and I believe that she wishes me to marry you someday.

Gale wanted me to say, "Hello Pretty Boy," and asked how the women were once out of New England. The bruise on his arm is still quite purple.

Gale has become close to Mr. Undersee, and has officially asked to court his daughter. Mr. Undersee agreed and Gale has his first date with Margaret a week from Saturday. This occupation could in fact be the best thing that ever happened to Gale.

I have to say that I am jealous of your ability to draw. I wish I had your talent and had utilized it to create a picture of you, to admire anytime I was feeling lonely. Sadly I do not possess your talent and because of that I will have to settle for the pictures in my mind, but answer me this, are your eyes still the same blue as a crisp and clear October sky? Is your gold hair still unruly, yet soft and smooth like silk? Do you still bite the right side of your upper lip when you are deep in thought? Do you still smell of cinnamon? Are we the couple in your sketch overlooking the harbor?

The night after your letter arrived I dreamed of you, but I have decided that I will not divulge to you what the dream was about, ensuring a quickness in your next letter.

Stay safe,

Katniss

* * *

Dear Katniss,

I am beyond joyful that you continue to write me, and that your mother thinks so highly of me. I agree with her assessment, and I think you should marry me one day. Hell, come to me right now and I'll make you my wife. At least then I could keep you with me.

I am so glad that you punched Gale, and please let him know that I have yet to see a woman more lovely, more fair than the beautiful and fiery Miss Katniss Everdeen.

I'll have you know my darling Katniss that my hair is so much more unruly than it was when I left. When Haymitch is around he accuses me of being a street beggar. I try to stuff the pile of chaotic curls and waves into the my tri corner, I am only successful part of the time.

Tomorrow we leave for Virginia, and I am not sure when I will be able to write again, but I will as soon as I can. I am eager to read your next letter however. I don't know how adept I am at self portraits, but I have enclosed one that I attempted a few mornings ago. And yes, to answer your question, it is us overlooking the harbor.

Please sweet Katniss tell me of your dream.

Yours,

Peeta

* * *

Dear Peeta,

Sir, your proposal was crude at best. I may not believe in marriage, but I am still a lady, and deserve better than that. Besides, I would never get married anywhere besides Massachusetts Bay. You will be wise to remember that in the future Mr. Mellark before you embark on anymore ill-conceived proposals of marriage.

I will tell you my dream only because of the brilliant portrait you sent, but you must promise not to think less of me. I cannot help what images appear in my head whilst I sleep.

It began with me lying in my bed. My room felt uncomfortably warm, but I still had my blankets pulled up to my chin. Suddenly, my door opened and you walked in. You had quite the cocky look on your face. I turned to where Prim usually sleeps, afraid you might have woken her, but she was gone, and we were alone.

I whispered your name, questioning if you were truly there in front of me. You just smiled as you approached the bed. When your legs came to the foot of the bed you stopped and I watched you lick your lips. The action made me breathless. You leaned over and grabbed the blankets and slowly pulled them down. As the blanket ebbed away revealing more and more of my body, I realized that I was naked. Gloriously naked! The way you stared at me, almost reverently, took away any notion of shyness on my part.

Once the blanket had been completely withdrawn, you kneeled in front of the foot of the bed. You took hold of my calves, and pulled my whole body down the length of the bed so my bottom rested at the very edge. You smiled at me, your eyes had grown darker, almost like the sea at night. You lowered your mouth to the apex of my thighs and tasted my already swollen center. I screamed your name to no avail, as you sucked on me to completion. I awoke shuddering, my body covered in sweat. And then my fingers slipped under the blankets to feel the proof of my arousal. When I finally fell back asleep, it was the most peaceful slumber I have ever experienced.

Stay safe,

Katniss

* * *

My Dearest Katniss,

It is my opinion that you read entirely too much, but thank Christ that you do. I think I have reread your letter at least a hundred times since receiving it. I am convinced you have sent me such a story for the sheer sake of torturing me.

Between your dream and the memory of the kiss we shared after leaving Rue, I am wound so tight that I am mere moments shy of completely breaking. I wish I could kiss you like that once more. Sometimes I can still taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes. I can't stop thinking about the way we fit together so smoothly, and how your soft supple lips mold my mouth into what you want it to be. The intensity I feel towards you is enough to set the world on fire. If you were in front of me now I would not waste time before taking you. Claiming you with my mouth as I had in your dream, and much much more, because my sweet Katniss, I dream of you too.

Yours,

Peeta

* * *

Dearest Peeta,

Now that I have a better understanding of what goes in it your male mind, would you mind telling me how Virginia is? Tell me of the sights and the people. Draw it for me. It makes no sense for you to travel at all if I am not able to live vicariously through you. If it pleases you more, you can simply come home now, to me.

Please tell me of your travels, but I also want to hear of your dreams as well. I have touched myself several times to your last letter.

Yours,

Katniss

* * *

Dearest Katniss,

I am so sorry for my last letter. You are right, I should have been more thorough in my explanation of where I am, but the effect you have on me can be daunting.

Virginia is beautiful. It is lush like Pennsylvania, and I do not doubt that you would love it here as well, but everyone is much more refined, much more proud. I met a man named Richard Henry Lee. His family is of the first families to settle here in Virginia. He is proud of his colony, as are all Virginians. However, he is the first man I have spoken to who has suggested an actual secession from England. I know that this opinion is shared amongst a lot of Bostonians, but to hear it outside Massachusetts Bay is incredible.

Most, of course, believe we are not ready or equipped to take on such a feat. During a speech I was making a few days ago, a group of loyalists came upon us. They accused me of perpetuating violence. I was told that if a war did come the blood spilled would be on my hands.

I came home from that speaking engagement so disturbed about what a few men had said, that I could barely find sleep, but when I did I dreamed of you.

We walked through the woods. Somewhat similar to those around Bunker Hill, but a strange glow illuminated our surroundings. I held your hand in mine. You were clad in nothing but a white cloth that wrapped and flowed around the curves of your body. Over your shoulder hung a quiver of arrows and in your free hand a bow.

Suddenly, and without reason, you let go of me and began to run deeper and deeper into the trees. I chased you down, finding you leaning against a mighty oak. You beckoned me with your slender fingers. When I approached you, I was wrapped into your arms. Our mouths met, heated and needy. Your hands fisted into my hair, while mine explored your body.

The cloth you wore fell a bit revealing your sun kissed breasts. My hands palmed them, pushing and kneading their soft flesh. You whimpered into my mouth, and bit my bottom lip with such force, that I woke up to the taste of iron on my tongue.

But enough of me. Will you tell me of yourself? Tell me what you are doing, what makes you smile. I miss your smile. I miss your scowl. I miss the incredulous look you give me when I manage to say the most idiotic thing possible. I just wish I could be done with this. I wish I could come home. I wish I could see you, kiss you, touch the same places on your body that you've explored, hear you say my name. I have worn myself out thinking of you. At the end of your last letter you signed it "Yours". Why do you tease me so? You belong to no one. As much as I wish you were mine, your spirit is too wild to be tamed by me, but I will always be yours. Be well, sweet Katniss. Let your family know I am thinking of them, just not in the way I am thinking of you.

Yours,

Peeta

* * *

My Dearest Peeta,

You received a telegram which I am sending with this letter. You should know that both Prim and I were more than curious as to what it says, but it was left untouched for your eyes alone. That does not imply that I would not like to know its contents when you finally do read it.

You asked what I was doing. Mostly, I am helping Rue with Pearl, when not admiring the newest sketches you have sent. She is growing so fast, she can already walk albeit with a wobbly gait. You would love her Peeta, she just exudes life. Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed with emotion that she will never meet her father, but she is loved no less.

You asked what makes me happy. Well, Prim always makes me happy. She is so kind and generous without a single thought left for herself. I wish I were more like her.

Gale makes me happy. He is finally becoming his own man. For so long I felt like he was simply floundering, a fish out of water. Now he has purpose. Him and Margaret have seen quite a bit of each other. Their relationship is blossoming. She has been over to our house a few times and she is absolutely lovely. She is shy, but frightfully smart, and most importantly madly in love with Gale. I cannot imagine it will be long before they are married.

My mother makes me happy. She is so brave and strong, and sometimes I cannot figure out how she does it. Gale and I were not the most well behaved children. I am positive that Prim was God's way of blessing my mother for her patience with us. She has been receiving more clientele at the apothecary thanks to Mr. Abernathy who apparently, when not with you, has been sending business my mother's way. I walked in on them having a very serious conversation. Both of their eyes were red and swollen when he finally kissed her hand and left. As Mr. Abernathy walked passed me, he stopped composed himself quickly and said, and I quote, "Get a few drinks in the boy and he doesn't shut up about you." He then tipped his hat and walked away.

When I asked my mother of their conversation, she told me that she and his wife Maylisee were very good friends. Maylisee married Mr. Abernathy and was completely smitten by him, but he was too busy with his career, and though he did love her, he did not give her the attention she deserved, according to Mother. When Maylisee's pregnancy went poorly it was my mother who was with her most of the time, since Mr. Abernathy was always away on business. He came home just in time to watch her die. My mother was very angry with him, and hadn't spoken with him from the day Maylisee died until that day on the steps of the jail.

She told me that he is a broken man because of it, that he took up drinking after she died, and that his nightmares keep him awake most of the night. My mother said she forgave him because he won't forgive himself. That forgiveness that she can give makes me happy.

And your letters and sketches make me happy, while at the same time making me incredibly sad. I miss you so much, and if I am honest with myself I have fallen completely in love with you. I don't know how you feel, and I am not pressuring you to tell me, but I needed to say it especially after hearing Mr. Abernathy's story. He loved her, but never really let her know.

I don't know when we will see each other again, and that is fine. As long as your letters keep coming I can make it without you. Please stay safe my darling. I don't think I could handle it if anything happened to you. I worried when I heard of the loyalists from Virginia. It was shameful of them to blame you for the king's mistakes. He is the reason we are at the precipice war. _You _are the man making sure that when the inevitable rebellion begins that we are prepared and educated. You are an amazing and selfless man. I am so lucky to know you.

With love,

Katniss

* * *

**1772**

My Dearest Katniss,

I don't know where to begin, so I guess I shall start simple. The telegram was from my dear friends Finnick and Annie. It was announcing the birth of their son, Sebastian. I am so happy for them, they are wonderful people and I know they will make amazing parents.

I am thrilled that everyone is doing so well. I am happy that Pearl is doing so well, and hope to meet her sooner rather than later. The last time I spoke with Haymitch, he said I may be able to head back to Boston after visiting Georgia, which I will be doing in about a month.

It is great to hear of Gale and Miss Undersee. The fact that she feels the same way as him is a relief. Gale deserves the girl of his dreams. He is a good man.

The history with your mother and Haymitch is quite intriguing and very heartbreaking. He doesn't talk much about his private life, but in my defense when you get a few drinks in him he gets the giggles. It is absolutely hysterical to watch a grown man giggle into his rum.

North Carolina is quite dull, or maybe I am just sick of traveling now. The people are very friendly. The deep South has a way about it, very genteel. Here, like most colonies, there are still pockets of support for England. However, yet again, I am hearing less and less about how to deal with occupation and instead hearing murmurs of independence.

To the rest of your correspondence. Your letters have become food for my soul, they are the only thing that keeps me going every day. However, I am deeply saddened that you would even have to questions my feelings for you. I had thought I had made myself clear, but I was wrong because I never told you, never said those words that you deserve to hear every day for the rest of your life. If I am also being honest I fell hard the minute you came out of your room dressed like a boy. You knocked the wind from my lungs and I don't think I have breathed right since, but it wasn't until this goddamn distance between us, which kills me a little every day, that I truly realized the truth. That truth is that I love you Katniss. I love you, I love you, I love you. The moment you were in my arms I knew I would never want to hold another. The moment your lips were on mine I knew that I never wanted to feel anyone's lips but yours ever again.

My mind and heart are at war. My heart tells me that the growing distance between us is killing me just a little bit more at every mile, while my mind tries to tell me that every day forward is a day closer to seeing your beautiful face. You asked me to remember you, but I couldn't forget you if I tried. So, my love, let this be a comfort to you until we see each other again, that I feel the same way you do.

Yours,

Peeta

* * *

My Darling Peeta,

You say those words now, but I have heard rumor of the astounding beauty of women from Georgia. I am assuming you are in fact there as you read this letter. Do you look at them? If you were ever to find a woman you prefer over me I would understand.

That said, I do hope Mr. Abernathy was not teasing and you get to come home for awhile very soon. My heart carries a constant ache and I want you to ease its pain.

Please come home soon Peeta.

With Love,

Katniss

* * *

**April 21, 1772**

My Dearest Katniss,

Of course I look at the woman around me, but only so I can see that they are not you, could never compare to you, could never fill the emptiness I feel. An emptiness caused by my distance from you.

I do however have four words to say to you. I am coming home. We leave here in a fortnight, and I will be heading towards you as fast as my horse can carry me. When I think of seeing you again, oh my. Until then.

Yours always,

Peeta

* * *

**Who sees a steamy Everlark reunion in these guys future... I do I do!**

**Fun Fact: And completely unrelated to the American Rev. I had a song stuck in my head while writing this... **

**Pepper by Butthole Surfers (circa 1996)... I realized at some point that some of the people reading this may have been born in 1996...total Mind F-**

**Well no matter how old you are I hope you enjoyed! Thanks so much for reading! :)**

*****It keeps giving me trouble with saving the separation lines...Sorry if it makes it hard to read if any are missing...**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hi Everyone, and Wow... Over 200 followers and nearly 200 amazing reviews. You guys really are the best. I am so glad you are enjoying this little tale so far...**

**A few things...**

**1. Someone asked if I had tried making "Revolutionary Balls" yet...Well I decided to make them this week. I halved the recipe used way more vanilla then required, and used soy milk instead of real milk...and well they were pretty good...Just be sure (if you make them) to make the 'balls' small when you put them in the oil to insure that the middle cooks all the way through...**

**2. If you want please listen to "Devil's Dance Floor" by Flogging Molly either before, during or after reading this chapter. That song was kinda my inspiration this chapter, and is really the tempo for the Everlark reunion in my opinion. **

**3. So we have a now 22 year old Peeta, and a now 20 year old Katniss...they have fallen in love over letters and haven't seen each other in over 2 YEARS... hmmm I'm thinking we should take that 'M' rating out for a test drive, and she how it performs...what do you guys think?**

**4. I do not own the Hunger Games, but I do think Suzanne Collins is a genius**

**And 5th...and imo most important... Enjoy!**

* * *

**May-June 1772**

The carriage ride from Georgia to New York City is a complete blur. I still can't believe it's been two years since I have been in New England. Two years since I have been in Boston. Two goddamn years since I have seen Katniss Everdeen.

The thought of her makes my heart speed up. Our relationship didn't just develop over the past two years, it burst into flames. She told me she missed me, she told me she dreamt of me, she told me she loved me, all on paper. An uneasy feeling begins to envelop me as we pass through South Carolina. What if she doesn't feel this way once I am standing in front of her? Not meaning the sentiments she put into written word.

The uneasiness gives way to anxiety. Soon I will be seeing the girl I professed my love to. The girl I can't stop thinking about, can't stop dreaming about. I am completely overwhelmed with a need to see her and by a fear I am not ready to see her. What do I do when she is in front of me? I know what I would like to do, what I have been waiting to do, what I imagine doing while finding my late night release. But what beyond confronting this sexual tension is expected of me? Do we court? Do we marry? Does Katniss _actually_ want to marry me? _Christ, what am I going to do?_

In New York City the carriage picks up Haymitch, who has been here on business with the Sons of Liberty. It is not even 10 in the morning, but he already reeks of liquor. He pulls himself into the carriage, dropping himself unceremoniously onto the bench across from me. He doesn't even acknowledge my presence, but instead falls into a deep sleep. A couple of hours later, as the road becomes excessively bumpy, he startles awake. Haymitch takes a moment to look around trying to gather his bearings, while I try desperately _not_ to begin laughing. His eyes meet mine and a cool and calm expression takes over his face.

"So boy, how did you like traveling the colonies?" His voice is gravelly with intoxication and sleep.

"It was an amazing experience. Thank you so much for the opportunity." And I mean it. This has been an incredible two years. When my brain was not saturated with Katniss, I was able to enjoy my time away. I had seen so many amazing places and met hundreds of interesting people. I was also able to help a cause that more and more people are taking a stake in.

Haymitch regards me quietly, scratching his scruff heavy chin. He cocks an eyebrow at me.

"I'm not done with you yet, boy." He gives me a devious smirk. My stomach drops at his words. As amazing as this has all been. I _have_ been gone 2 years. I have no interest in packing up to leave anytime soon. I have a girl to hold and kiss, and at least have a discussion with. As if Haymitch can read my mind his eyes soften and he lets out a quiet chuckle. "Don't worry, you go home and refresh that girl of yours, and then we'll discuss what's next." His eyes have a wistful look to them, and I can't help but remember the story Katniss told me about Haymitch and his late wife. After a few moments he lays his head back against the bench and falls back asleep.

We pull up to the Everdeen residence around 5 in the evening. My heart hurts from pounding so hard, and there is a nearly insurmountable lump positioned in my throat. I want to be brave, but as the horses come to a halt and the driver has opened the carriage door, I find I am unable to move. Haymitch squeezes my forearm. I expect to see amusement in his eyes when I look up at him, but his face nothing but serious.

"She missed you too, asked about you every time I saw her." I nodded firmly.

"Thank you, Haymitch.", I say as my courage begins to return. I take one last cathartic breath before exiting the carriage.

The driver, a man named Maxwell, helps bring my luggage to the front porch. I notice the apothecary is closed, and decide they must be upstairs getting ready for supper. I thank Maxwell, before ascending the back stairs. I get to the door, reaching for the knob, before abruptly stopping myself. I haven't lived here in two years, I can't simply walk in. My nerves start getting the better of me. I had sent a letter ahead, letting them know when I'd be home, but even if they were to have written me back I wouldn't of received it while on the road. What if they are _not_ expecting me to come here? _Dear Lord Peeta get it together, of course they are expecting you to come here. _I chastise myself for being ridiculous and finally rap on the door.

Mere moments later the door swings open and Mrs. Everdeen stands before me. I quickly take off my hat, noting that she has not changed much since I've seen her last, save for one or two more gray hairs.

"Peeta.", she greets warmly. A large smile on her face.

"Mrs. Everdeen.", I reply with a nod.

"Why in Heaven's name are you knocking at my door?" My heart stops. "You never have to knock at my door. Do you hear?" I exhale deeply and nod my head again, finally allowing myself to smile. "Come in, come in." She turns to lead me inside. From beyond her I hear someone squeal.

"Is that Peeta?", is screeched from the hallway. The voice, which I am sure belongs to Prim, sounds a slight bit deeper than I remember. I just cross the threshold when the blonde crashes into me. I let out a short groan at the impact.

"Primrose Everdeen!", her mother scolds while shaking her head. I look to her trying to assure her that it's fine.

"Prim, when did you get so tall? You're nearly my height now." She giggles and I push her away to get a better look at her. Her locks have darkened slightly leaving them a dirty blonde. She seems at least 4 inches taller, and I can see the beginnings of womanhood changing her body.

"Well I'm nearly 15 now, Peeta.", she rolls her eyes at me but smiles brightly. A noise behind Prim, has her turning around. I look over Prim's head, and that's when I see her. She hasn't changed much. Her face is more mature, her hips have more of a curve, her breasts fuller. She stares at me. Katniss, _my_ Katniss. My heart stops. My breathing stops. Time stops. Everything stops.

"Katniss, Peeta's home! Aren't you happy to see him.", she eggs her sister on, trying to feed her lines. Katniss doesn't break her stare, but she doesn't speak either. Instead she nods slightly before taking a few steps closer to me. I mirror her actions, approaching her as calmly as I can, deathly afraid I will scare her off.

We continue this two step dance of ours until we are standing right in front of each other. My heart and breathing so rapid I don't think I could speak right now. I look into her storm cloud colored eyes, only to find them staring at my mouth. I have to remind myself we are not alone as I watch her teeth sink into her bottom lip, but I can't go without touching her any longer. I have no chance of surviving this encounter without her in my arms.

Cautiously, I lean forward, gliding my hands over the curve of her waist, moving them around her back. I feel her shudder underneath my touch, making me almost pull away until her hands reach out to embrace me in return. Once my arms have wrapped around Katniss, I pull her towards me tightly. I bury my face deep into the crook of her neck, breathing her in, inhaling the sweet scent of sunshine. I know I could live here forever. I feel her head tilt slightly upwards only seconds before I hear her voice for the first time in two years.

"Come hunting with me tomorrow.", she whispers. Her voice is thick like molasses and melts into my ear. I nod almost imperceptibly, but I know she sees it when she clutches me tighter.

We stand there in each others arms for moments, or years, I can't be sure, and then pull away simultaneously. She glances up at me quickly, a small smirk on her face, her cheeks are red. I clear my throat, my own cheeks burning as I look around. Mrs. Everdeen is completely ignoring us, cleaning around the kitchen. Prim stands gawking, both fists covering her face engulfing grin. Her pale blue eyes wide and sparkling. She suddenly throws her still balled fists to her sides, and opens her mouth to speak.

"Prim.", Katniss says as a warning. Her eyes narrow at her younger sister. Prim snorts in reply, flashing us both with a knowing smile.

"Time to eat.", Mrs. Everdeen calls from the other room, breaking up the tension between the three of us. We walk and sit at the table. I notice Gale's seat is empty. Mrs. Everdeen must notice the gesture.

"Gale tends to eat elsewhere most nights. His new position keeps him very busy.", she explains, her voice a bit wistful, but when I look to her face I see pride.

Supper continues smoothly. Conversation is easy with all the questions from Prim about my travels and her talking about the booming business of the apothecary. Katniss and I don't speak the entire meal, but we share more than one longing glance or shy smile. She keeps her attention on me the entire time I speak, but never asks any questions of her own.

"Are you going to be staying here with us, Peeta?", Prim chimes in. Mrs. Everdeen gives Prim a leveling look, and Katniss' face pales.

"Uh...", I am quickly cut off by Mrs. Everdeen.

"Peeta is, of course, welcome to stay here, but he may have other arrangements Primrose." Of course my other arrangements are simply the drunken declaration from Haymitch stating _"If your girl won't take you in, you can come stay with me."_ I look around to see everyone staring at me , waiting for my answer.

"If you will have me Mrs. Everdeen I would be happy to stay here." Mrs. Everdeen gives me a small smile, Prim claps her hands together and squeaks, and Katniss exhales audibly, she looks down to her lap a smirk on her face.

After the meal has ended I make my way down to my old room at the back of the apothecary. I notice the bed is already made. I find it curious, but I am too tired from travelling to think on it now. I know I have to be up early tomorrow to go hunting with Katniss so I quickly jump into the bed that feels like home, trying desperately to shut off my brain, but I think I can smell Katniss on my pillow. Finally the darkness takes me.

* * *

I feel gentle touches over my forehead and in my hair. Someone is humming, and there is a bright light beyond my eyelids. My eyes slowly open, but my vision is blurry. Someone is sitting on the edge of my bed, touching my face. Their sweet song pulling me from sleep.

"Is this a dream?" I rub my eyes, trying to get a better look at the beauty in front of me.

"No.", Katniss whispers before pulling her hand from my hair. I groan at the loss of contact. She takes the lit lantern off her lap, placing it on the floor in front of her. She then stands, and faces me. She hikes up the skirt of her dress, and climbs up on the bed, straddling my waist. I will myself not to thrust my hips upward as her warmth closes in on my morning erection.

Katniss drapes the top half of her body over mine, her hands cup my cheeks, her face, her lips no more than an eyelash away. Our breath mingles. I manage in my shock to wrap my hands around each side of her waist, not having my wits about me to attempt more. She scans my face, eyes landing briefly on my lips before making their way up to my own eyes.

"Maybe you have become accustom to a certain way of living, Mr. Mellark, but some of us have to actually get up and get stuff done." Her face remains serious, but how serious am I to take this girl whose thighs clutch around the outside of my legs. "So, if you wish to join me, I expect you to do so with haste." She no longer holds her smirk back, her gray eyes on fire with the light of the lantern and amusement. She scans my face again, and appears to be lowering her lips to mine. I crave her taste more than I crave air, and I hold my breath waiting for her flesh to connect with mine, but instead of my lips, she shifts her mouth up, and kisses me gently on my forehead. She shifts her mouth down to my ear before whispering, "Meet me at the cart." She hops off me as quickly as she hopped on, walking out of the room. I am left to take several heavy breaths to calm myself down. I am wide awake now.

The ride to the woods is surreal. We barely talk, both seemingly consumed by the electricity that dances between the two of us. We have years of words to tell each other yet neither of us speaks. I drive, and Katniss sits close enough for me to feel the warmth off of her, but not close enough to touch. I am completely worked up, completely in need, completely hard for this girl, this woman who sits next to me. Her proximity is maddening, and I begin to search for a place to pull over so I can ravish her, here and now. I think she senses my intent, or maybe she feels the same way I do, because she shifts closer to me, our legs now flush. Her head falls to my shoulder and her arms snake around my torso, her hands entwined on the other side.

"We'll be there soon.", she says softly. I kiss the top of her head, and try to focus on the road.

It seems like years have passed when we are finally approaching the woods. We stop. Katniss jumps from the cart before I am able to help her down. She grabs her gun and a basket from the back while I tie the cart to a tree, giving the horse a snack. Katniss hoists the strap attached to her gun over her shoulder, and I take the basket from her other hand. Our hands join without a word, and we walk into the rich green woods.

It is a warm, sunny day in early June. The forest is alive with new flowers, green rich grass, and bird song. We hold on tightly to each other , but still we don't speak. Katniss simply leads the way to wherever we are going.

"Katniss.", my voice is husky... needy. Speaking seems to trigger something in Katniss because she drops my hand. I look down at my now empty hand, before raising my eyes to meet hers, only to see her running ahead. I'm confused at first, and stand my ground. Then she calls over her shoulder.

"Come on!" That's when I start the chase.

We bound through the forest. Katniss is much faster than me though, so I can never quite catch up. She takes a sharp right into a thickly wooded area, and I lose sight of her momentarily. When I take the turn, however, I see her straight ahead, leaning up against a large tree, Her gun lays on the ground to the side, her breasts heaving as she tries to catch her breath. I take in the scene and my jaw drops. _She's not trying to... No she can't be. Can she?_

"Is this how it looked in your dream?", she calls to me as I approach. Her fingers begin pulling at the strings at the top part of her dress. I swallow thickly. _I guess she is. _I pray to God for some semblance of composure before I melt right here and now.

"Uh...", I clear my throat, "In my dream it was an oak, this is a maple." I manage a smirk.

"Well aren't we finicky?", she says with a smirk of her own. She has completely loosened the bosom of her dress, and with that I am done. I have waited two damn years for this moment, I am not going to wait anymore. I abandon the basket on the ground and swiftly close the remaining distance between us. I roughly grab her face with both of my hands and crash my lips into hers. The force slams her back into the tree, but I can't feel bad about that right now. All I can truly feel at this moment is Katniss, her mouth, her breath, her wet velvety tongue as it slides against mine, Her teeth as they sink into my bottom lip, her skin under my fingers, her hips pushing into mine, and the two years of deprivation that has lead us here.

We ravenously explore each others mouths. Her hips begin to thrust into mine, and I moan into her mouth every time she causes friction with the aching bulge in my pants. We do this for as long as we can, until at least I know it isn't going to be enough. It will never be enough.

I pull back from Katniss. Her lips are swollen and blood red. Her olive skin is flushed. She is panting, her hooded eyes clouded with primal need. I take that as an invitation as I pull her dress down her body, allowing it to pool at her boot clad feet. We both, without saying a word, begin working on untying her undergarments. As Katniss finishes the last of the strings I attack her neck, sucking and biting at her pulse point. When she has finished her task, her hands drop, and her head rolls back, a moan escapes her lips. I pull back once more tearing the last stitches of clothing from her body. She is now completely naked, and she is as radiant as the sun.

"Fuck, you are beautiful.", I mutter as I scan her body greedily, not knowing where to start, wanting every part of her now. Katniss seems self-conscious and tries to cover up with her slender arms. I move in on her, swatting her arms away, pressing my body against hers and claiming her mouth once again. I move to her chin, then to her neck. Each time planting open mouth kisses on her bare skin. Now her collar bone, down her chest. In between her perfectly perky breasts. My hands glide down the curve of her side before, they reach over to knead on the flesh of her breasts. Katniss whimpers as my fingers tug on her dusty rose colored nipples. I fall to my knees in front of her so I can continue my exploration south.

"Peeta." My mouth moves down her stomach. "Peeta." My tongue dips into her navel. "Peeta!" I hear her yell, and I freeze. I know I've taken it too far. _Damnit! _I reluctantly look up, afraid of what emotion I will see on Katniss' face. However when I do, she doesn't look upset at all, but is trying to cover up a smile with a half-assed attempt at a scowl.

"Peeta, how is it that I am completely naked and you remain clothed entirely? I do not find that fair at all. What if someone were to walk by? What are they to think?" She raises an eyebrow at me, and I begin to chuckle. I think on her question for a second before answering.

"Well my darling Katniss, they would of course think that I have captured myself some sort of beautiful forest deity." She rolls her eyes at me.

"And what do you plan to do with this mythical creature?" Her eyes study me.

"Worship her, of course.", I say in all seriousness. I watch as her teeth sink into her bottom lip, and I wish they were my teeth instead. "But,", I continue, "if it makes you feel better." I quickly peel my shirt off my body. My heated skin welcomes the light breeze.

"Thank you." Katniss' hands drag across the bare skin of my shoulders. My eyes close at her touch. "You can continue worshiping.", amusement apparent in her voice. Without opening my eyes, my lips attach to the skin below her navel.

"Gladly.", I whisper into her skin. Opening my eyes to see the small bumps my breath induces. As my mouth works its way closer to the apex of her thighs my need to taste her becomes greater. Her dark downey curls glisten with wetness. The very tops of her thighs slick with her silky arousal. I kiss my way through her curls, inhaling her sweet musky scent. My nose drags against her center, and she lets out a whimpering moan. Her fingers tangle in my hair tugging lightly, eliciting a moan from me.

My hands grasp onto the back of her legs, below her bottom. My tongue dips in between her folds. Katniss hisses out a breath as I taste her for the first time. I push one and then a second finger inside of her, hearing her harsh throaty moan. The sound makes me groan against her center.

I lick, suck and thrust, while Katniss whimpers, moans and shivers above me. She pushes against my mouth and pulls at my hair, as she begins to fall apart. I hear her moan my name, just seconds before her walls close around my fingers. My licks become slower, gentler as she rides out the orgasm I caused. Her whole body is quivering.

"Peeta.", I hear her beg. I look up at her and see a vulnerability I have never seen in her before. I jump to my feet and take her in my arms. I hold her tight against me. I spray her bare shoulder with kisses. "I missed you so much.", she whispers, her voice thick with emotion. I grasp onto her tighter.

"I missed you too, so much... so damn much." She looks up at me. She looks happier than I have ever seen her. She laughs as tears fall down her cheeks. I kiss her tears away. My mouth finds her lips again, and I can't help but smile when I feel her face twist as she tastes herself on my tongue. The kiss is slow, soft and full of emotion. After a while I pull away, looking her in the eyes. "Do you want to get dressed?" She shakes her head. "Do you want to stop?" Again she shakes her head, and gives me a look that reminds me of the ever present ache in my groin. I pause taking the look in. "Can... can I have you?" I watch her eyes cloud with desire once again, before she nods furiously. Our kisses are once more filled with need.

I work to remove my pants all the while never breaking our kiss. Eventually I am free, and I groan with relief. We are both naked now. Katniss takes in my form, lingering at my groin while she chews on her lip. I need her now!

I lift her up and lean her against the tree for leverage. She wraps her legs tightly around my waist, and rests her cheek against my shoulder, her breath on my neck. I shift her again, and I push into her. She groans when I fill her completely, her tightness strangling me. I thrust into her, once, twice. I hear her hiss painfully. I am not sure if it's from the penetration, or the tree, so I spin us, lowering to my knees, and placing her gently into the soft grass below her. I never break the connection. Katniss shifts momentarily before nodding to me. I take this to mean she is ready, and I begin thrusting into her again. She feels so warm, so tight, so deliciously exquisite that I know I will never last nearly long enough. I have dreamt of this for so long, craved this feeling for so long. Katniss' moans drive me closer to my release. Her eyes unfocused, her hands claw at the skin of my back. Then in a moment of clarity she looks into my eyes.

"I love you Peeta.", she gasps in between heavy breaths and groans. With those words I know I'm a goner. Just as I am about to finish I pull out of her, remembering what a professor of mine said about preventing pregnancy. I grunt as I release the warm thick substance on the ground between Katniss' quivering legs. I try to catch my breath, before I climb up her body to claim her mouth with mine once again.

"I love you. _Always_.", I say once I've pulled away. One look at her smile and I know that _always_ would never be long enough with her.

* * *

The ride home is much different. Once we cut our way through the tension, the need, and found each others completion we were able to think about other things. I tell her stories of my travels, and she tells me about life in Boston. We make each other smile, and laugh. We hold hands and share kisses. her hands rub my thighs, while my fingers play in her hair. I am so in love with this girl. Finnick was right, I never actually knew love until now.

After parking the cart next to the house neither of us makes a move to head inside. We stay there, just staring and touching and kissing, knowing well enough that we wouldn't be able to be this open about our feelings in front of anyone else until we had some serious conversations. Katniss and I will have to figure out what the next step is before we speak to her mother.

We are so wrapped up in each other that neither of us notices someone approach the cart, not until he obnoxiously cleared his throat.

"Ahem." Katniss jumps and I look up to see Haymitch observing us with sheer amusement on his face. "Guess you had nothing to worry about, did ya boy?" Katniss looks at me questioning, I mumble under my breath for her to ignore him.

"What's going on Haymitch?" I've gotten to know him very well, over the past two years, and actually consider him somewhat of a friend, but right now I don't even try to hide my annoyance. Haymitch pauses, his face dropping slightly, and I feel a lump form in my throat.

"I hate to break up the homecoming, but..." He rubs the back on his neck with his hand, looking at his feet. "I'm going to need you in Rhode Island at the end of the week. Big event coming up." I just stare at him. I feel Katniss' grip tighten around my fingers. Haymitch finally looks me in the eye. I know I can't refuse. He would never have asked if he didn't need me. I let out a sigh.

"Ok.", I say completely defeated. Haymitch nods his head.

"I'll send the details over tomorrow." he looks to Katniss. "Miss Everdeen." He tips his hat to her before he strolls away. I immediately turn to Katniss. Her eyes are swimming in tears. Her bottom lip is trembling. I feel like such an ass.

"You're leaving... already?" She barely chokes out the words. _What's wrong with me? I should have said no. I should be staying with Katniss. I should of... _

"Come with me!", I practically shout. Katniss' eyes widen in shock.

"What?", she whispers.

"Come with me, please come with me. I have friends in Providence, we could stay with them. Please, Katniss." She seems to be thinking over my proposal.

"I'll have to talk to my mother, and Rue..." I wait, knowing I am asking a lot, knowing she will probably say no. She grabs both my hand with hers, looking me in the eye fiercely. "but yes, I'll go." My lips couldn't have gotten to hers fast enough.

* * *

**Fun facts: (of course they are all about sex)... **

**Though during the 1700's contraceptives were more experimental than anything they included at that time : condoms made out of sheep bladders, make shift cervical caps made from half a lemon, or plain just doing what Peeta did. **

**During the middle ages woman did not get their first periods until about 20 years of age... meaning that Romeo was never going to knock up Juliet, by 1840 the age dropped to 17-18. Today the age is 12.5 years...hmmm **

**In 1839 Charles Goodyear (yeah the tire namesake) found out a way to vulcanize rubber. He used this technique to start marketing rubber condoms, and intrauterine devices. **

**Thanks so much for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**So I have a ton of stuff to say...**

**First and foremost thank you so much for reading and reviewing, you are all spectacular people who make my day...**

**I am sorry this is so horribly late. I probably have the same excuse as everyone else which is the holidays crept up on me, but I am still sorry. I had the worst time getting this chapter down. I was going to add more to this one, but today I just had to throw in the towel so I am sorry it is a little shorter than normal, but I have already started the next chapter and hope to have that one up on time. Hopefully you guys don't mind this chapter which consists of a ton of fluff... **

**Next to the guest reviewer Leeg50 I wanted to be able to answer you questions... One I am still pregnant (due the beginning of Feb.) Two using the word telegraph was a slip on my part. It was only meant to be a letter. And three Cigars had been smoked in the colonies since the 1730's. In 1760 a tobacco mill was opened in NY. They shipped cigars throughout the colonies, and in my head this is where Finnick has his shipped from. Thanks so much for reviewing...**

**If you guys are looking for a dark Everlark tale may I suggest Misshoneywell's oneshot Butterflies... So good!**

**Also if anyone is interested in Beta'ing this story on a regular basis please let me know**

**And since the last time I posted I did set up a Tumblr account if anyone would like to stop by... www dot streetlightlove1 dot tumblr dot com**

**I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, and please know my head is back in the game I promise!**

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**June 1772**

"Mother, I need to ask you something." I stiffen at Katniss' words; this must have to do with Rhode Island. We discussed that we would have to have this conversation with her family as soon as possible, but I wasn't expecting it to be right now. I feel ill-prepared and absolutely terrified. I am not sure if that is because of Mrs. Everdeen or because Gale is joining us for dinner this evening. _For the love of God, Katniss, thanks for the heads up._

I watch as Mrs. Everdeen places her fork gently on the table before lifting her napkin to her face, delicately dabing the sides of her mouth. I try to catch Katniss' eye from across the table, just for reassurance that I know what this conversation is about. Katniss, however, seems to be deliberately ignoring me. I guess I should take that as the best confirmation I could ever get. I turn my attention to Mrs. Everdeen, who is regarding her child in a curious, if not weary, way.

Once she has her mother's attention, she seems to falter slightly. Her cheeks blush, and she is is suddenly looking at her fingers, which are furiously rubbing at the grain of the table. This action unfortunately grabs the attention of both Gale and Prim, who have stopped eating and are now waiting to hear Katniss' question. _Well that isn't going to make her anxiety any better_.

"What is it Katniss?", Mrs Everdeen's voice is sprinkled with annoyance and maybe a touch of worry. Katniss begins to stutter.

"Uh... uh... uh...umm. Umm." This is all she gets out before completely freezing up. In what seems like a last ditch effort, she raises her eyes to meet mine. They plead and beg. Out of the corner of my eye I see this gesture has not gone unnoticed by Mrs. Everdeen, who has straightened herself in her chair, looking back and forth between us. _Damnit!_ I clear my throat.

"Mrs Everdeen." I feel all eyes except Katniss' cloudy grays burning holes into me. I am staring into Mrs. Everdeen's questioning pale eyes. "I was informed that I will be traveling to Rhode Island at the end of this week. I am not sure all the details, Mr. Abernathy is supposed to be bringing them to me in the morning. Well, I have good friends, basically family, that I would be staying with while in Providence and I asked if Katniss would like to join me." I know I am talking too fast, and my voice sounds higher in pitch than normal. Mrs. Everdeen's eyes narrow at me immediately and I feel Gale tense at my side, his hands ball into fists and are placed precariously on the table.

Mrs. Everdeen continues to hold my gaze prisoner. I want to yell that I love her daughter, that I would never do anything to shame her. I want to tell her that I would marry Katniss in a heartbeat, but for some reason I can't find the words under her scrutiny. I wanted this to go so much differently. Mrs. Everdeen takes a deep breath, finally releasing my eyes before setting her sights on Katniss.

"And you accepted this proposal, Katniss?", her voice is eerily calm. Katniss simply nods, but I watch her sit higher in her chair, straightening her shoulders. Her chin raises just slightly. Apparently she has rediscovered her bravery. Mrs. Everdeen turns back to me. "And who did you say you were staying with?" She brings her fingers to the bridge of her nose, rubbing the area as she shuts her eyes tightly.

"With my good friends Finnick and Annie. They recently had a son and they were asking me to come meet him anyways. Their house is very large, and there are plenty of unoccupied rooms to stay in." I hope my last point conveys what I want it to.

"They are the ones you stayed with for Christmas a few years ago, right? The housekeeper's daughter and the wealthy gentlemen?"

"Yes ma'am.", I respond. Mrs. Everdeen lets out an exaggerated sigh, turning back to Katniss.

"Have you really thought this through?" She doesn't sound upset, but firm.

"I know I will have to talk to Rue, to make sure she can get by without me." Katniss speaks for the first time in awhile.

"I can help out Rue.", Prim interjects, her face beaming. She catches my eye and I give her a small smile of thanks. Her smile falls when she looks at Gale, who is radiating anger. It hits me in waves.

"I am not speaking of Rue.", Mrs. Everdeen answers Prim, her eyes never leaving Katniss. She takes a deep breath, and her exhale comes out as a loud sigh. "Katniss, darling, what I am trying to say is, have you thought about _what_ you are doing?" Katniss looks to her mother, confusion apparent on her face. Mrs. Everdeen shakes her head gently before continuing, "You want to accompany a man who you are not married to, not even engaged to, during his travels to another colony. Do you understand how inappropriate that will appear to others?" Katniss takes a loud breath through her nose.

"Mother I don't care about any of that, you know I never have. I just... It's just...", her voice is pleading, "I can't be without Peeta."

The room is completely quiet, while everyone digests what Katniss has just confessed. She didn't say she loved me, but she might as well have. The silence is finally broken by Prim's nervously gleeful giggles. Mrs. Everdeen reaches over and cups Katniss' cheek in her hand.

"I love you Katniss. I've said my piece. I trust you.", she looks over to me, "Both of you." She looks back to her daughter releasing her face. "You are 20 years old. If this is what you want, you have my blessing." A smile begins to erupt on Katniss' face, but it is short lived when a yell comes from my right side.

"Aunt Lily you have got to be joking! Please tell me I heard you incorrectly and you are not about to allow your daughter to traipse around the countryside like a …"

"Gale Hawthorne!", Mrs. Everdeen screeches. "How dare you question me? The last time I checked, I was the head of this household. You will abide by my decision, and that is final. Now either sit there and act civil or leave."

"I...", Gale begins before he is out of his chair and storming out the back door. Katniss is out of her chair next.

"Gale!", she calls out to him before pursuing, followed shortly thereafter by Prim. I stand myself, ready to follow the crowd, knowing I am the one he is actually mad at. Mrs. Everdeen reaches out and grabs my hand. I look down at her.

"I should..." _Go let Gale beat me to a pulp. _But Mrs. Everdeen's eyes implore me.

"Do you love my daughter, Peeta?"

"Yes, more than anything." A slight smile tugs at her lips.

"Then take care of her, keep her safe for me."

"Always." I try to infuse the word with everything I have in me. I need her to know that I will never do wrong by her daughter, that it is my heart to break. Mrs. Everdeen pats the top of my hand with hers before releasing me. I head out the door, and walk down the stairs, not finding anyone in sight. My eyes scan the street in front of me. Not a person, not even the sound of voices in the distance. The sun is hanging lazily low in the sky. After walking up and down the street, I reluctantly head back to the house. I walk into my room and collapse on the bed. I want to stay awake to talk things out with Gale. I want to tell Katniss goodnight, to make sure she is alright after everything that happened today. I want to kiss her and tell her I love her. Yet my eyelids betray me as they slowly cover my tired eyes. My brain begins to become fuzzy and soon enough I drift off.

When I wake it is dark. I haven't a clue of the time. But I hear footsteps coming down the stairs. I assume them to be Katniss. I feel out of sorts falling asleep before having a chance to talk to her, so I am glad for her arrival.

I briskly walk out of my room, needing to feel her in my arms, needing to taste her breath, needing to see her eyes. I am completely lost in my thoughts of her while turning the corner to the stairs that I fail to notice that it is not in fact Katniss until my jaw is burning and I have stumbled back a few steps.

Before I can take the time to recover I am shoved up against a wall. The force knocks a small painting of a dandelion off the wall. I look up to meet his hard stare. I know I am strong and broad. Between the bakery and the docks I am basically all muscle, but that doesn't mean that when looking up at an angered giant like Gale, that I am not completely petrified. His intense quiet scare me most of all. I feel my jaw click as I clench my teeth, preparing to get hit again. But he just stares at me silently. When I finally will myself to speak, the only words I can think to say are the truth.

"I love her Gale." I look straight into his dark gray eyes and I hope he can see the sincerity and commitment behind those words. Gale's stare is stone for just a moment longer when it begins to soften right before my eyes. Gale pulls his fists off on my shirt, and steps back releasing me from the wall. He looks down to his shifting feet.

"In all those letters you sent me you couldn't have once told me that you were in love with her?"

"I...", I stop there because he's right. I guess I never felt right about telling anyone until I spoke to her in person, but Gale saved my life, he's my closest friend. I should have said something sooner.

"Instead it gets sprung on me while eating..."

"Gale, I swear to you I was planning on speaking to you about this, all of this. I had no idea Katniss was just going to bring it up like that." I am cut-off by Gale's low chuckle.

"Well, get used to the unexpected, Pretty Boy, that's how Katniss operates." _If only you knew. _I begin to chuckle as well, when suddenly Gale is in my face again, his stare cold like the gray of his eyes. "You better cherish her, be good to her and do right by her, because if you don't so help me God, Mellark, they won't be able to find your body until your water-logged, bloated, blue remains decide to float to the surface of Boston Harbor. Do you understand me?" I nod carefully.

"Yeah, that's pretty clear."

"Good", he smirks at me before hitting my shoulder with his hands, "Stay safe Peeta."

* * *

The next morning I can feel Katniss' eyes burning into the already swollen flesh of the left part of my jaw. The bruise was setting in when I awoke this morning. No one says anything though, and Gale and I eat our breakfast as if nothing has happened. When we are done eating Mrs. Everdeen hands me a satchel of herbs, telling me to hold it onto my face. The swelling is all but gone by the end of the day.

* * *

The next few days go by incredibly slow. Katniss and I get no more than a quick kiss here and there privately as we pass by each other. There were times when I thought I could give and take more, but I held back not wanting to disrespect the kindness of Mrs. Everdeen or rattle the delicate truce between Gale and I. Katniss, of course, doesn't help matters at all when she bites her lip and gives me longing eyes from across the table during meals, or how she doesn't hold back her gasp at the electricity bounces between us when we brush by each other. Everytime I see her I want to thrust my fingers into her hair and tug her towards my mouth. I want to taste her so very badly that I find my hand down my pants more often than not as I lie awake at night.

Finally the day comes that we are to leave. I have received all the information I need from Haymitch. Apparently this visit has to do with a British ship called the Gaspee. I am to be filled in fully once I arrive. Finnick has already written back, letting me know that he and Annie will be expecting us at their home in Providence, a wedding gift from his parents. Rue has assured Katniss that she can get by one her own, and Primrose will be going by a few days a week to help out anyways

Mrs. Everdeen and Prim pull us both into strong embraces, while Gale shakes my hand sternly giving me a look that says _I dare you to forget what I said_. Katniss has been beaming all morning, and I can only think of all the ways to keep that smile to her face.

Max, my regular driver, arrives with the carriage. I help Katniss in while Max loads our belongings. When I climb inside the carriage myself taking a seat in front of Katniss, I see that she is looking around.

"I've never ridden in a carriage before.", she tells me matter-of-factly as we pull away from her house.

"Well, if you enjoy it I'll make sure you ride more in the future." I smirk at her, and she rolls her eyes in return. We look at each other, smiles on our faces. Katniss' smile eventually drops from her face as she stares at me intensely. Her fingers are curled tightly around the bench on either side of her.

"Come here." I beckon to her, holding out my hand. She grabs it quickly and I pull her onto me so that she is straddling my lap. We are eye to eye. Her lips are slightly parted, her breath tickles the corners of my mouth. My hand snakes up her back and nestles in her hair. I bring her mouth to mine, drawing in her bottom lip and sucking on it gently. She moans into my mouth. I pull away to look at her beautiful face once more before claiming the rest of her mouth as my own.

* * *

After a good long while filled with deep kisses and touches kept to over our clothes, we sit side by side. Katniss' head rests on my shoulder as she takes in the passing scenery. Our hands lay entwined between us.

Time passes and Katniss hasn't moved in a while. I wonder if she has fallen asleep, as I place a kiss on her head.

"I'm glad you came.", I hum into her hair, "I love you." I feel her squeeze my hand tighter.

"I...wait.", she sits up suddenly. "Stop the carriage!" She hollers to Max.

"Kat...", but she is already out of the carriage before the horses have even halted. I move to the opening. Max is already at the door looking at me curiously. "I don't know.", I mutter out loud while watching Katniss run into an open field of blue flowers. She stops within the patch, bending over and delicately picking a flower from below. I see her take a heavy breath as she heads back to the carriage. She is smiling at me as she walks. When she reaches the me she extends her hand, and I pull her in. Max pokes his head inside.

"Am I ok to go now, Miss?", he asks. Katniss blushes furiously.

"Yes, I am sorry. I was rude earlier, I just needed to see something." Max looks to me and I shrug in return. A moment later we are moving once again.

"What did you need to see?", I raise an eyebrow at her.

"This.", she says as she leans forward, placing the flower at my temple. The petals tickle my skin making my eye twitch. Katniss' gaze goes between the flower and me a few times before a triumphant smile take hold of her face.

"I knew it!", she exclaims gleefully, "Same exact color as your eyes."

"What?", I begin to laugh. Katniss pulls the flower away and looks at her lap. She seems embarrassed but a smile still tugs at her mouth.

"Your eyes.", her voice is shy, "are Cornflower blue."

"Is that what that flower is called?" She nods at me, finally lifting her silver eyes to mine.

"My mother uses them in tinctures for eye ailments. I confess when I first met you I thought of this flower. I love your eyes." The last part is so quiet I barely hear it over the rolling carriage. I grab her forearms and pull her into my lap. Her legs hang off the side of mine.

"Your eyes,", I nuzzle my nose into her neck, "are the color of an impending storm and molten silver. Your eyes are the color of slow burning insanity, claiming everything I was before I ever had any chance to escape. I love your eyes too." I kiss the side of her neck, while rubbing small circles into her lower back. I feel her shudder under my touch, a quiet gasp escapes her.

"You know what else they say about Cornflowers?", her voice is deep and sultry.

"What?", my words tumble into the flesh of her neck.

"They are worn by men in love." Our eyes connect. My stomach flips and my chest feels burdened. I reach out and take the flower from her hand, slipping it through a buttonhole of my jacket. Soon after her lips crash into mine.

* * *

**Next up: The Gaspee Affair and the Odair's (my apologies to xXNicklezxX who I told that this chapter would have Finnick... Next one I swear)**

**Fun Fact: Katniss was right about the folklore surrounding the cornflower and young men in love, however if the young man's cornflower wilted prematurely his love was unrequited... sad!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hi everyone... As always thank you so much for your continued support of this story... You are all so very very amazing.**

**A special so snugly thank you to: Katnissinme, Pookieh and Court81981 for their extensive help with this chapter... It's so lovely now! **

**Just some inside knowledge for the rest of you. I had originally slated to have Peeta gone for 5 years instead of two, and had no real intentions of having Finnick and Annie back in the story anytime soon, but I chickened out about the length of time, and because of that we get the Odair's this chapter... ****Hooray!**

**If it pleases you come visit me on Tumblr at www dot streetlightlove1 dot tumblr dot com**

**Enjoy!**

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I can't get enough of this girl. Her eyes. Her scent. The feel of her skin against mine, of her lips against mine, of her tongue against mine. I look down, her legs are curled up on the cushioned bench next to me and her head is resting in my lap. I have been absentmindedly weaving my fingers through her hair for quite some time now. The slow rhythmic motion of her back as it rises and falls tells me she is asleep.

"What am I going to do with you?" I mumble to her sleeping form. I take a deep breath; which flows back out of me in an exasperated sigh. "I want to marry you, Katniss. I think everyone else wants me to marry you too." I halt my movements and pause as she momentarily stirs in my lap. I wait until she is still again. "Everyone except you, I'm afraid." I laugh quietly. "I don't want to push you though. I am petrified I'll scare you away, but God do I want to marry you." I gently trace my fingers down the side of her face, picking up a strand of loose hair as I go. I push it behind her ear. "What am I going to do with you?" I whisper before placing a soft kiss in her hair.

_What am I going to do with you?_

* * *

Finnick and Annie live in a large white stone mansion with brown trim right on the edge of Downtown Providence. Katniss's eyes grow as wide as saucers as the carriage approaches the main gate. I can't help but chuckle as she moves to the end of the bench and leans out the window to get a better look; she turns to me and scowls before quickly returning to her perch.

As we near the the front entrance of the mansion the door flies open and I spot Annie running towards us waving madly.

"Peeta!", she shouts as she draws closer

I help Katniss out of the carriage, but I have to let go of her hand before Annie crashes into me, pulling me into an all encompassing hug

"Oh Peeta I've missed you!" I hug her back tightly, a smile breaking out on my face. Annie holds me for a few moments longer before letting go of me and pulling a confused and somewhat awkward-looking Katniss into her embrace.

"Katniss," Annie sings into the air, "I am so happy to finally meet you. I have heard so many wonderful things." Katniss has barely begun to reciprocate the strong hug when Annie is pulling away, taking Katniss' cheeks into her hands. "You are every bit as beautiful as Peeta said you were.", Annie says admiring the blushing girl's features. Katniss quickly diverts her eyes to the ground.

"Please!", a voice calls out from the house. I turn to see Finnick standing in the doorway. "Peeta didn't do her any justice at all." I watch as Annie rolls her eyes and shakes her head, moving out of the way as her husband approaches. Finnick swoops into Annie's previous spot in front of Katniss and gently takes her hand in his. He stares into her eyes intensely as he slowly brings her hand to his lips. "You, my darling Katniss, are much more beautiful than Peeta lead us to believe." He punctuates the sentence by kissing her hand. I watch as Katniss flushes again.

Katniss looks to me, cocking an eyebrow in a gesture that is caught halfway between amused and overwhelmed. I bite my lip to keep from laughing, managing only to shrug. She narrows her eyes at me briefly before she is flanked by both Annie and Finnick, each taking an arm and practically skipping into the house with her. Finally, I have to laugh out loud at what must be running through Katniss's head right now. I help Max with the bags from the carriage before following after them.  
When I walk inside, I can hear voices coming from above me. I climb the large main staircase, and join everyone else, who are now gathered on the landing overlooking the main entrance way.

"So this is your room, Katniss," Annie chimes as she opens a door in front of her.

Katniss takes a timid step into the doorway of the large guest room. From my viewpoint I see the bed is covered with blankets of dark green, the walls a paler shade.

"But don't worry," Finnick interrupts as he sneaks up behind Katniss, making her jump. "Peet's room is right next door." he grins wickedly. For the third time in the span of five minutes, I watch Katniss turn crimson.

"Finnick Odair!" Annie shouts, "Leave her alone!" Finnick feigns a wounded look, causing Annie to shake her head. "We will leave you two to settle in. Afterwards you can join us for tea in the sitting room and you can meet Sebastian." I catch Finnick's eye before they leave and he glances at Katniss before waggling his eyebrows at me suggestively.

"Finn!" Annie yells again, her husband quickly retreating behind her. When I turn back around, Katniss has already gone into her room, closing the door. I'm a little surprised, and maybe a tad bit worried that Finnick Odair was a little too much for her. I try to shrug it off before entering into my own room.

The room is decorated in a nautical theme. The color throughout is of different shades of blue. I place my bags next to the large oak bed before scanning the room. My eyes land on a door to my right. It only occurs to me where the door leads just as there is a soft knock on it. I unlock and open the door only to find a smirking Katniss behind it.

"Hi," she breathes.

"Hi." I whisper with a smile. I take her arm and pull her into my room, pushing the door closed behind her.

"Finnick is...interesting," Katniss says thoughtfully. I snort.

"I suppose that's a word for it." I study her face for a moment. "You seemed awfully bashful earlier." I don't even try to hide my amusement . She gawks at me for a moment.

"I was not _bashful. _I was... caught of guard," she insists

"I just didn't expect someone so brazen and outspoken," I tilt her her chin up. "someone who reads the _books_ you do to be so... 'caught off guard'." Katniss gasps audibly while shoving me hard at my shoulders.

"You leave the books I read out of this, Mr. Mellark!" I burst into laughter and catch her wrists as she attempts to shove me again. I spin us around, propelling us so that we land softly on the bed. Katniss lets out a squeal as her back hits the mattress.

"Why Miss Everdeen, you misunderstand me.", I say before planting wet kisses down her long slender neck. "I rather enjoy that you read those books. It gives me inspiration." I grin mischievously at her. Katniss narrows her eyes at me with suspicion.

"What does it inspire you to do, may I ask?" She fails at her attempt to be nonchalant, her words thick with wicked curiosity.

"This!", I declare before diving under her skirt. I feel her startle at my sudden action, but soon enough she lifts her hips off the bed, allowing me to easily remove her undergarments. I can feel her tremble and laugh nervously as I untie the final garment and pull it down her legs. Once I have her bare from the waist down I find myself licking my lips at the sight of her enticing center. I stroke my rough hands up and down her smooth thighs, and I feel her quiver beneath my touch.

"I have been thinking of your taste all week," I groan, wondering how much Katniss can actually hear through the material of her skirt. I realize, though, that I don't need her to hear me. I greedily press my tongue flat against her folds and lick up until I reach her rapidly-swelling nub. Katniss hisses, her hands clutching onto the part of her skirt that covers my head. I plunge my tongue inside of her before sliding it up her folds once again, taking my time where my attention is needed. I can hear Katniss's muffled moans and whimpers as I suck her into my mouth.

She claws at the skirt of her dress, eventually releasing my head from the humid tent we've formed. I let my eyes trace up her body, eventually landing on her face as I continue to work her center. She is propped up on her elbows. Her face flushed with pleasure and her lips parted slightly. Every moan that I draw from her body causes her glassy eyes to fall closed. _She is so beautiful_, I think as she grinds her center firmly against my mouth.

"Peeta..." She gasps just seconds before I feel her entire body shudder around me. I lap up her flowing arousal eagerly before reluctantly pulling my head away from her throbbing center, softly kissing her inner thighs as I go. She is lying back on the bed and staring at me as I pull back onto my knees. I wipe my chin with the back of my hand and begin crawling up her body to connect with her mouth.

"Peeta, that was..." She is cut off by a loud knock at the door. I hastily pull myself off of her, wincing at the pressure created by the aching hardness in my pants. Katniss's eyes grow wide with panic as she struggles to rearrange the skirt of her dress.

"Peet?" I hear from the other side of the door.

_Dammit Finnick! _

I turn back to Katniss, placing a gentle hand on her stomach to quiet her movements.

"Why do you insist on keeping us waiting?" He says firmly. "I have not seen you in several years." There is a short pause again before he continues with a lighter note to his voice. "Besides, I don't think Katniss is in her room. You may want to go look for her." I can hear the sheer amusement in his voice, and I know that he is damn well aware of Katniss's whereabouts. I groan out loud.

"I'll be down in a moment, Finn!"

"Splendid, Peet, splendid." I hear him chuckle as he walks away. When I glance down, Katniss looks completely mortified. She is covering her eyes with her forearm, her top teeth biting hard into her bottom lip. I pull on her chin so she'll release the poor lip before any real damage can come to it, kissing it gently as it falls away.

"Go get yourself ready," I whisper with a reassuring smile, "I'll meet you outside in a few minutes."

Katniss nods quickly before gathering her scattered undergarments and making her way back to her room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

* * *

A short time later, after we are both presentable, and the flush from Katniss' cheeks has faded we make our way down the staircase, heading towards the sitting room. When we walk in, Finnick and Annie are already seated. Tea has set out on the table in front of them. Katniss and I sit on the settee across from the Odair's. I chance a quick look over to Finnick, who is smirking at us, before looking over to Annie. My eyes automatically fall on the child she is holding in her arms.

"This must be Sebastian," I say, as the child looks up to smile in our direction.

Annie sees my gaze and looks up at me smiling with such pride in her eyes. I have never seen her happier and more at peace than I see her now. I can't help but smile back at her. Annie is one of the most amazing women I know. She deserves the world.

"Do you want to meet him?" she beams, standing to walk over to me. I wordlessly outstretch my arms towards her. "This is your Uncle Peeta," she tells the groggy-looking baby before she carefully slides him into my arms.

He's not wobbly like a newborn and rests on my knee in a sitting position. Small copper curls cover the top of his head and his eyes match the emerald green of his mother's rather than the sea green of Finn's. He has Finn's nose and her mouth.

"Hi, little man," I tickle him underneath his chin. His green eyes light up and he giggles lightly. His single tooth grin makes my heart melt. I glance over at Katniss, to ask if she would like to hold him. The smile I am greeted with seems to light up the room, but she's not looking at Sebastian. She's looking at me. Her shimmering eyes filled with something I can't quite decipher.

"May I?", she asks, outstretching her hands towards the infant. I acquiesce and she takes him into her arms. "Hello Sebastian, I'm Katniss. I am very happy to meet you." Sebastian looks at her and smiles before nuzzling into her arms. Katniss absentmindedly runs her fingers through his copper curls while humming softly. My heart swells at the sight of Katniss and Sebastian. Katniss, my Katniss is... is... everything.

I look up to find both Finnick and Annie looking at me. Annie's smile is wide and I can see tears welling in her eyes. Finnick's face is smiling,too, but his eyes are serious as he gives me a nod of approval.

* * *

We spend the rest of the afternoon catching up with each other and watching Sebastian master the art of crawling. I ask Annie about Sae. I miss her terribly, especially her apple pie. Annie tells me she is well and still with Finnick's family. Apparently she has been trying to curve Mr. Odair's recent weight gain. The image of Finn's father reluctantly eating less makes me chuckle.

Katniss appears more comfortable now. She and Annie have a natural rapport. She rolls her eyes at Finnick's borderline crudeness but always laughs afterwards. She reaches out and takes my hand in hers as I share about my two-year trip with my dear friends.

Afterwards, Annie insists on taking Katniss out to look at her garden, leaving Finnick and I to enjoy cigars out on the porch.

"She's quite remarkable Peet," Finnick exhales a large puff of smoke. "I can see why you love her." I smile while looking down, taking a puff of my cigar. "But Peet," he says, his voice lined with concern, "what are you doing? You know damn well that I don't care about the appropriateness of it all, you travelling together unwed, but you have to consider Katniss' reputation in all of this. It's just not her either, but you know her mother's business could suffer because of this too."

"You think I don't know that!?" I pull my hands through my hair exasperatedly. "You think this is about _me _not wanting to marry her?!" My voice sounds strained. "Dammit, Finn, I love her. You have no idea how much I love her. I want her to be my wife, more than I want to breathe, but I am not going to push that on her." I take another pull from my cigar, letting my head fall back over top of my chair, blowing thick white circles out of my mouth. "She's different Finn, she's not like other girls, and I am fine with that. We need to have a serious talk, I know that, but until then, I am content to just love her." I let out an exhausted sigh before turning back to Finnick. His expression is thoughtful, as he leans over and pats me on the shoulder.

"I'm sure everything will work out Peeta. I'm just happy to see you happy."

"I could say the same to you", I smirk at my friend.

"Ahh Peety boy, I am _so_ happy." He sighs contently

We put out the rest of our cigars and go off to find our girls.

After a relaxed evening meal, and Sebastian has been put to bed, Finnick bounces gleefully into the room with a bottle of rum and four glasses. Katniss and I exchange looks, but it doesn't stop Finnick from shoving an empty tumbler into each of our hands and filling them with the amber liquid. Once everyone's glasses have been filled, Finnick raises his in a toast.

"To friends, family and love." I see him wink at Katniss. "And to the hopes that people still want my family's ships after this damn inevitable war."

"Finn..." Annie shakes her head at her husband.

"Here, here!" I yell and everyone else repeats the phrase seconds afterwards, and we clink our glasses. Katniss smiles in my direction, her eyebrow cocked before tipping the glass that sits on her lips. I watch her throat as she swallows, mesmerized, before I take a sip of my own.

* * *

We drink and laugh, and drink, and dance, and drink some more. I realize how intoxicated I've become when I can't help licking my lips while staring at Katniss, wanting to tear her clothes from her body so I can make her scream my name.

"So Katniss," Annie squeaks, her normally low voice higher than usual due to the alcohol, "when did you know you were in love with Peeta?" Annie is sitting on Finn's lap. He has been nuzzling her neck, but his head lifts, his chin resting on Annie's shoulder so he can watch Katniss while she answers.

"Well, I don't know if I can pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with him." She rises from her chair and walks over to sit next to me with a bit of effort. "I thought him quite unusual when I first met him. This devastatingly handsome, Harvard-educated, rich boy being brought home from the docks like a stray by my cousin." She takes my hand into her lap, staring at it while she traces my fingers with hers. Her feather light touches making me shiver. "He made me so angry the first night I met him. He seemed a bit pompous I suppose, maybe a little naive."

I look up to see both Annie and Finnick enraptured by Katniss' words. These two people probably know me the best of anyone. I wonder what they are thinking. I'm not surprised by what Katniss has said so far. I pretty much assumed she thought I was an ass.

"But then," Katniss continues, "I got up the next morning to go hunting, and he came up the stairs so early the sun wasn't even up yet. He apologized to me for intruding, but was insistent that I stay safe during my hunting trip. It was so sweet and sincere. I... I couldn't get him out of my head the entire day." She looks up at my face for the first time, "Of course, I wasn't safe at all that day," she smirks, "but I think because of it we got to really know each other." She turns to look at Finnick and Annie before she continues.

"God bless him," Katniss sighs, "I know I am not an easy person to be friends with. I am stubborn and irrational. I know at times I made it harder than I needed to." I can't help but snort out loud. Both Annie and Katniss scowl at me for it. "But then Peeta went away for so long. We wrote to each other." She smiles and looks down again. "I used to get so excited every time a letter would arrive. Eventually the letters were no longer enough. All I could think about was him." She raises her eyes to mine once more, and the emotion in them makes my breath catch in my throat. "I felt like I was losing my mind without him, that I was losing the ability to breathe, and I guess that's when I knew that I loved him." I can't help it when I swiftly lean towards her cupping her cheek with my hand and pushing my lips onto hers.

"I love you," I whisper against her mouth, and she smiles against mine. Our moment is interrupted by the rowdy hooting and hollering of a drunk Finnick. Katniss and I separate and look at the couple across from us. Annie rests her chin on her propped-up fist, and I think again that there are tears in her eyes.

"That is _so_ romantic." Annie sighs helplessly, "I am so incredibly happy for the both of you." Annie uses the heel of her hand to wipe away a rogue tear.

"Peety has always been such a romantic." Finnick adds his speech slightly slurred. "He just needed the right girl to show it off for. Isn't that right Peety?" Katniss giggles next to me, and I lift my glass to salute Finn and his intuitiveness. Finnick raises his back. He looks to his wife. "I betcha Delly never got any romantic letters from him." I watch as Annie's face falls, and I'm not sure why until...

"Who's Delly?"

_Dammit!_

I turn to Katniss. Her face is completely awash in innocent curiosity. She looks to me for an answer, but I'm not sure how to word it.

"She was..."

"She and Peeta were engaged a while back." Finnick, however, appears to be right on top of the wording. I know a sober Finnick would never have brought up Delly in front of Katniss, but rum always loosens Finn's lips.

"Oh?" Katniss says, looking more confused than anything else. I look over at Annie, who is giving me a sympathetic look before she starts to discreetly scold her husband. "What happened to her?" Katniss asks

"She moved to Nova Scotia with her family," I say, still trying to gauge Katniss's reaction, but the alcohol that is flooding my brain is making it harder than it should be.

"Right before you moved to Boston?"

"Yes," I practically whisper, feeling nervous but not knowing the reason why. Katniss looks deep in thought for a moment.

"Did you love her?" Katniss isn't looking at me when she asks this. I rub the back of my neck with my hand.

"I thought I did."

"But you didn't?" I shake my head, then I realize she isn't looking at me to see it.

"I thought I loved her, but I had no clue what it was to love someone until I fell in love with you."

"Oh,", Katniss says again before seemingly staring off at a spot on the ground. I look up to Finnick and Annie. Finnick looks mortified. I just shake my head and shrug at him. It's not his fault I never mentioned I was engaged before I met Katniss. An awkward silence blankets the room. I am completely lost on what to do, what to say. I'm not even sure what is going through Katniss' head right now.

_Goddamn rum! _

"I think I am going to retire for the evening." Katniss startles me out of my thoughts as she stands up. Both Finnick and I jump out of our seats. She once again has a smile on her face as she looks to our hosts. "Thank you so much for a lovely day and evening. I will see you both tomorrow." She turns to me, and she looks almost apprehensive as to what she is supposed to do. She moves towards me, but seems to lose her balance in the process. I reach out to her and pull her into my arms. "I guess I drank a little too much." She looks up at me, giving me a shy smile.

I say my goodnights to Annie and Finnick, who respond with understanding nods, before scooping Katniss into my arms and bringing her up the stairs to her bedroom. Katniss is silent the whole way up and keeps her face tucked against my chest. Once in her room, I prop her on the bed and help her get out of the dress, leaving her in nothing but her undergarments. She is still quiet.

I pull back the covers and pat the mattress coaxing her to climb under them. She rests her head on the pillow, and a small sigh escapes her lips as her eyes flutter closed. I lean over and press a chaste kiss to her forehead, then turn to leave, assuming her quietness means she wants to be alone.

"Stay with me?" a small voice calls from behind me. Surprised I turn a little too quickly, causing me to lose my balance momentarily, before steadying myself on the dresser at my left side. I look over to see Katniss lying where I left her, blankets pulled all the way up to her chin. She is staring at me with pleading eyes.

"Are you sure?", I ask cautiously, having no idea if she is upset with me or not.

"Yes." It is all I need to hear before I make my way over to the bed and strip down to my undergarments. When I climb in next to Katniss we face each other but don't touch. I come to the realization that this is the first time we have ever shared a bed for an entire evening. "Thank you.," she whispers; her voice sounding tired. I kiss her lightly on the lips. Katniss's eyes flutter shut.

"Goodnight my love," I whisper back.

It is quiet after that. I turn on my back, trying to calm myself down. _You're overreacting_, I tell myself, but I can't help but feel that Katniss seemed peculiar, even distant after hearing about Delly. Obviously her change of mood is due to this revelation. I'm just not sure if she is upset or not. Time ticks by, but still I cannot find sleep.

"Peeta?" Katniss is looking at me suddenly, and I wonder if she has been awake this whole time.

"Yes?" I whisper.

"Can I ask you something?" I nod my head, encouraging her to continue.

She hesitates briefly. "If... If you thought you loved Delly at the time, but you really didn't, how do you know that you..." she takes a deep shaky breath, "how do you know that you really... love me?" I hear her swallow loudly. Her words make my chest hurt. For her to have to ask me if my feelings for her are genuine makes my stomach twist uncomfortably. I was so convinced that Delly no longer mattered to me, that it never occurred to me that this information might matter to Katniss. I cared for Delly, but I _love_ Katniss. I have never been more sure of anything in my life. I think of all the things I could say to convince her. Overflowery confessions of my love. Yet I know Katniss does not need those kinds of things. She doesn't need sonnets; she needs honesty.

"Because," I start, turning my body to face her. " I never drew a sketch or painted a portrait of Delly." And I never did. I never felt the need. Where as with Katniss, sometimes I would just draw her as an outlet to rid myself of the intense longing I felt for her, even before I knew I was in love. "My engagement to Delly was more a union of circumstance. We were pushed together by our parents, who were old friends with old money. We were slated to be married when we were still sleeping in cribs." Katniss is watching me closely. "I mean don't get me wrong, we were good friends, and I cared for her deeply, and at the time I thought that was love. Until I was in love with you."

I take my fingers and coax a strand of her hair behind her ear. She closes her eyes and sighs a smile. Everything is quiet again. Katniss turns on her back and I see her eyes are trained on the ceiling above her. I am about to ask her what she is thinking when she speaks again.

"We should get married." Her voice is steady and determined. I feel a jolt run through my body and my jaw falls open. I am convinced I didn't hear her right.

"Wh...What?" She could not possibly have said what I thought she did.

"I said I think we should get married." No, I suppose I heard her right. My heart is drumming in my chest.

"Are you sure?" I begin to question how much she's had to drink, and if it is the alcohol speaking or if she truly means what she is saying. Katniss sits up, suddenly glaring down at my lying form.

"Do you not want to?" Her voice conveys equal parts hurt and anger. I jump up myself, my eyes wide, as I reach for her.

"No!" Her eyes widen as she pulls away from me. " I mean _yes!_ Of course I want us to get married. You have no idea how much I want to marry you. I just want to make sure that you're sure." This time when I reach for her hand, she lets me take it. "This isn't about Delly is it?"

"Yes," she confesses, "but not in the way you think. I was just thinking that if King Snow hadn't riled up us colonists, you would have been married to her, and I would have never met you." Her voice cracks with emotion towards the end.

Her words hit me hard. To never have met Katniss, to never have heard her laugh, heard her sing. She is the piece of my soul I never knew was missing, but I know now I was doomed to eventually fade away without it.

"I love you, Peeta, more than I thought I would be capable of, and I trust you with everything I am. I know what I've said before, but circumstances have changed, and I can't think of a reason why I should not want this." She takes my hand and looks sincerely into my eyes. "So yes, Peeta, I want to marry you."

I close the distance between us, diving on top of her, wrapping her in my arms, before she erupts into a fit of giggles. She tastes of rum and sunshine, and my future. I staccato 'I love yous' with kisses down her neck. I rest my head between her breasts, looking up at her face. Her brilliant smile must match mine. We say no more to each other, knowing there is no need. I watch as sleepiness slowly begins to overtake her.

_My Katniss._

_My fiancée._

I begin to feel it too. Her fingers dance slowly in my hair until they stop moving altogether, and her chest begins to rise and fall in a slow steady succession.

Even though my heart is pounding, and my breathing quick, I still feel the tendrils of sleep grab at me. One last thought resounds before I plummet into darkness...

_I am to marry Katniss Everdeen._

* * *

_**There... Art tho happy? ;)**  
_

**Fun Fact: **

**One of the first recorded accounts of an engagement ring was in 1477 when Archduke Maximilian of Austria presented Mary of Burgundy with a diamond ring. Maximilian wed Mary within 24 hours, thus beginning a tradition that has spanned centuries.**

**During the 17th and 18th centuries hearts were favorite motifs for engagement and wedding rings. These rings often used rubies (signifying love) and diamonds (signifying eternity).**

**(I think Peeta has some shopping to do!)**

**Thanks for reading!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hi Everyone! Thanks so much for your continued support of this story... You guys are the best!**

**I am so sorry this took forever to update, and that the chapter is short, but I hope you like it nonetheless, and I am already working on the next chapter so I hope to have it for you all soon!**

**Speaking of historical AU's Please check out "A Favorable Wind" by Court81981... Its an amazing story filled with suspense, intrigue and sexy Sailor!Peeta... Hello!**

**A special thank you to Katnissinme, Pookieh and Court81981 for their invaluable Beta-aid with this story... **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I awake to the sensation of not being able to breathe. My eyes fly open as I begin coughing and gasping for air. The position we fell asleep in was much different from how we presently lay. I am lying on my back while Katniss has curled up at my side. My right hand rests on the small of her back and her arm drapes over my chest. Her head lays a breath away from the crook of my neck, her hair splayed every which way. Some rests at the opening of my mouth and nose, tickling my nostrils and I realize this is probably what was smothering me just moments before.

Between my coughing and slight shifting to gather my bearings, I feel Katniss begin to stir beside me. She pulls her hand back from my chest, pushing the heel of it to each of her eyes. Her head slowly turns until her chin rests upon me. Her eyes are still foggy with sleep, hair covers half of her face, and a lazy smile plays at her mouth.

"Hi," she whispers.

"Hi." My heart swells as my eyes take her in.

My fiancée is beautiful.

_Fiancée!_

Dread suddenly bubbles up within me. I can't help but agonize over the possibility that last night was just a cruel dream or that a sober Katniss will think better of her late-night proposition. I just barely steady my heart and brace myself for disappointment.

"You want to marry me? Real or not real?" I know my eyes are pleading with her for the answer to be real because as she studies them for a moment, I can see my own emotions reflected in hers. She pushes herself up,her face closing in on mine. Her grays never leave my blues and just before I feel the gentle touch of her lips against mine, she utters a single word.

"Real."

After a few heated moments of feeling her soft lips pressed against mine, I pull away. My head crashes onto the pillow behind me before releasing the breath I had been holding this whole time. I shut my eyes and smile with relief. Katniss giggles breathlessly at my dramatic display before smacking me gently on the chest. My eyes fly open and I smirk at her, grabbing her wrists and pulling her mouth towards mine to capture her in a kiss once again.

The kiss deepens and intensifies seemingly without our help. I know this kiss was meant to go so much further, but the rattling of the knob as the bedroom door opens springs us apart.

"Oh my... umm , sir, miss I am... my apologies... I...I didn't know..." The stammering maid, a young girl with blonde hair, looks uncertain of what to do as she stands before us holding a water basin with a few washcloths draped over her arm. Her head is down, but I can still see the blush that floods her face.

A red-faced Katniss practically falls off the bed in her attempts to distance herself from me. She shields her eyes with her hand in embarrassment. I lean towards her and whisper for her ears only.

"I will meet you downstairs. I love you."

I am rewarded with an ever-so-slight smile and an eye that peers through her barely-separated fingers. I smile warmly before getting up and collecting my clothing. I head towards the door behind the maid, not wanting to draw attention to the door that separates our bedrooms.

"I am sorry again, sir." Her head is still bowed, and she gives a slight curtsy.

"It is I who should be sorry. It was not my intention to scare you." I turn once more to gaze back at Katniss. This time, she is looking at me. Her hand no longer covering her face. I mouth the words, "_You are beautiful_" before exiting the room.

I arrive downstairs before Katniss. When I walk into the sitting room ,I find the person I am most eager to speak to. Finnick sits with his head in his hands, his fingers clawing at his dishevelled copper hair. When he finally looks up at me, he is a complete disaster, obviously a side effect of last night. His eyes are bloodshot and outlined by dark, plump circles. His jaw drops when he sees me, and he stands.

"Peet," he begins, his hands rising defensively. "I am _so_ sorry. I was drunk and stupid. I didn't mean to..." He trails off as I approach him. He flinches when my hands rise towards his face. I assume he thinks I mean to hit him, but instead I grab him by his cheeks and plant a firm kiss on his forehead. When I pull away, Finnick looks at me in complete confusion. He begins to speak again, but I lift my hand once more in hopes of silencing him.

"She wants to marry me, Finn." I can't suppress the smile that takes over my face.

"What!?" Finnick exclaims, slapping his hands on my shoulders. I simply nod, and he howls his excitement. "Well, when's the wedding?" Finnick asks as he jumps up and down.

"I have to speak to her cousin and mother first, but soon, very soon I hope."

"Woo-hoo!" Finnick hollers again. He grabs me in a strong embrace as he begins to spin us. "My Peety is getting married!" The man is acting like a fool, but I can't help but grow giddy at his words.

_I am going to marry Katniss Everdeen, the most beautiful woman in the world, the love of my life. _

I find myself jumping up and down with him as we spin. We only manage to stop our juvenile display when someone clears her throat behind us.

Standing in the doorway is Annie holding Sebastian and Katniss is by her side. Sebastian giggles in our direction. Annie shakes her head in mock disgust while Katniss bites down on her thumb, trying to keep from laughing. When I catch her eye, though, she smiles.

I have never been happier.

* * *

Breakfast is pleasantly upbeat. The heavy serving of eggs and sausage does wonders for the alcohol-induced headache caused by the night before. After the five of us finish eating, we move outside. It's a glorious June day. Sebastian rolls and crawls in the grass while the rest of us watch. I inform everyone that I have a meeting to attend this afternoon, reminding everyone (but mostly myself) that this visit isn't completely for pleasure.

"Where is your meeting?" Katniss asks from her position on the ground with Sebastian and Annie

"A tavern on South Main Street. Supposedly the food is incredible."

"Ahh, Joseph Bucklin's place. Less of a tavern and more of what the French call a _restaurant_. My father and I have been there a few times. Bucklin's a good man, but he's a Patriot through and through. Sometimes he can get a little... overzealous." The word is meant to carry much more meaning to it. I catch Katniss's worried stare.

"It will be fine," I try to reassure her, reaching over to take her hand in mine. "It's just a planning meeting." Planning for what, though, I am not sure. According to the information I received from Haymitch, the _HMS Gaspee,_ a British customs schooner, has been strictly enforcing very unpopular trade regulations in Providence Harbor. The Sons of Liberty wish to put a stop to this ship. I am just not sure how they expect to accomplish this.

After planting a chaste kiss on Katniss's forehead, tickling the belly of Sebastian and waving good-bye to Annie and Finnick, I hop into the waiting carriage and head to the political meeting downtown.

* * *

The long, single-storey building is brown in color and quite drab. I walk through the main entrance. The dimly-lit room has a scattering of circular wooden tables and chairs. A few men are seated around some of the tables; some are smoking and drinking, some are engaged in conversation. Some eat. A few men glance up at me when I stride in through the door. Only a couple look curious.

"Can I help you?" The question comes from a middle-aged man with greying black hair pulled back into a ponytail.

"My name is Peeta Mellark, Sir, I'm here for..." He quickly cuts me off.

"Ah Mr. Mellark, you're Haymitch's man. Welcome. We are glad you made it." He raises his hand out to me. "The name is Joseph Bucklin and this is my place." I take his hand in mine and give it a firm shake.

"Nice to meet you, Sir." I make sure to keep in mind the warning that Finnick gave about this man.

"Let's go sit with everyone else. Meeting's about to start." He places a hand on my upper back and guides me further into the room. Most of the men have already gathered at a cluster of tables off to the side. Joseph introduces me to the group. A few of the men raise their glasses to me murmuring a quick hello, the others stay quiet.

The meeting starts and just as Haymitch described in the paperwork given to me before I left Boston, the Sons of Liberty are looking to make an example out of the _HMS Gaspee_. A man introduced to me as Abraham Whipple talked about the endgame, which would be to board the ship and set it ablaze in the harbor. The problem they are running into is basically how to capture said ship. Most ideas presented thus far would be too flashy or could quite possibly carry a few Sons' fatalities.

I begin to look over the maps sprawled on the table in front of me. One of them is of the shoreline of Warwick, Rhode Island. A specific part called Namquid Point appears to have a very shallow low tide. This gives me an idea.

"Could we coax the_ Gaspee_ to Warwick?" The argumentative tones around me cease at my question.

A man by the name of John Brown pipes up "What are you getting at?" His eyes are narrowed in my direction.

"What I mean." I state as I meet John Brown's stare., "is that if we can get the _Gaspee_ to Namquid Point in Warwick, we may be able to ground the ship during low tide."

"And how are we supposed to accomplish that?" A man who I think was named Arthur stands in the back with a cup of liquor in his hand. I contemplate his question. How do you ground a ship... _a chase?_

"Could we get the_ Gaspee_ to chase another boat?" The murmuring grows louder around me.

"It would have to be a fast ship." one man calls out.

"Maybe a packet sloop would work," yells another.

"I bet Benjamin Lindsey would help out. He captains the _Hannah_," yet another voice booms.

By the end of the meeting we have decided that a packet sloop would work best and that if we can make the _Gaspee _believe that the sloop is smuggling we might be able to pull this off. The men are no longer looking at me with cautionary glares, but now they are instead patting me on the back, their excitement over the new plan is palpable.

Both John Brown and Abraham Whipple are to make the necessary arrangements. Those who wish to participate in the actual event are asked to sign their name on a piece of parchment by the door. These men will receive word no more than twelve hours and no less than four hours before they are needed.

The crowd begins to break apart; some men sign their name and leave while others linger, asking further questions of the ones in charge. I stand back by myself, watching the dynamic of the room. Suddenly I catch the eye of Joseph Bucklin. He has a wide smile on his face and a slightly crazed look in his eye. He rapidly approaches me and drapes an arm over my shoulders, when he gets close enough.

"You are every bit the genius Haymitch claimed you to be." He says as he taps his finger to his temple, the overly large smile still prominent on his face.

"I'm just glad I could help."

He chuckles at me in response. "Well that you did! Just make sure you have dark clothing for when this all goes down."

"Sir?" I furrow my eyes in confusion, not entirely sure what he's getting at.

"When we take the _Gaspee_, it will most likely be at night. Less harbor traffic that way. So you should make sure to have dark clothing ready for that night." I nod, letting the words sink in. He must notice my hesitation. He grasps my shoulder tightly.

"You came up with the plan, Mr. Mellark, so I'm assuming you would want to see it through." His smile gives me a foreboding feeling.

"I... suppose so," I manage to get out. His face softens.

"Good."

He leads me over to the parchment with the volunteers' names on it. He picks up the quill and quickly scratches down his own name before handing the dripping quill to me. I stare at the parchment hesitantly before putting the tip right under his signature, I scrawl the two words I know are going to get me into trouble when I get back to Finnick and Annie's:

_Peeta Mellark_

I let the quill linger on the end of the 'k' a second too long, lost in thought as to how I am going to explain to Katniss that I will be participating in anarchy. Joseph clears his throat, pulling me from my troubled thoughts.

"So Mr. Mellark, what are your plans for the rest of this beautiful day?" I raise my eyes to meet his, hoping that I haven't just made the worst possible decision of my life. I take a deep breath before I ask.

"Could you point me in the direction of a reputable jeweler?"

* * *

**I think Peeta may be in trouble, but I kind of miss angry Katniss, and I think it's about time we got Patriot!Peeta's hands dirty ;)**

**Fun Facts:**

** A packet sloop is a mail ship.**

**Historians debate as to whether the Gaspee Affair was a planned attack, or if things just fell into the right place at the right time... But I think we can pretty much determine now that not only was the Gaspee Affair premeditated but that it was the brainchild of Peeta Mellark!**

**Up next: Anarchy, 18th century terrorism, and a possibly pissed off Katniss Everdeen...**

**Thanks for reading**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey Everyone! Thanks so much for your support of this story... You guys are epic!**

**Please please please for your sake check out 'In Name Only' - by Izzy Samson. I have such a crush on her Peeta, and to boot he's (at least for me) age appropriate. **

**I'd like to give big hugs and thank yous to my Beta Squad: Katnissinme, Pookieh and Court81981... They make this story so pretty!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

I have been staring at the velvet-lined wooden case of rings for quite some time now. The jeweler, a patient older man named Mr. Gloss, has been sitting across from me, waiting for my decision. At least at this point, we are down to only one case. After the jeweler explained to me that diamonds represent the concept of forever and that rubies represented love, I was determined to find a ring of that design. However, now that I have the choices in front of me, I can't seem to make up my mind.

I know Katniss doesn't need to be showered with jewels to be satisfied, but this is her engagement ring, dammit, and I don't wish to mess this up. My eyes keep returning to a ring with a heart-shaped diamond that is surrounded by rubies. The jewels sit on a gold band. The ring is stunning, and it shines like the sun.

_Shines like Katniss_.

At some point Mr. Gloss's daughter, a young lady by the name of Glimmer I think, arrives with tea. I barely register the scalding water of the tea I have just sipped as it trails fire from my tongue to my throat. I can't tear my eyes from the ring.

"Sir," a small voice calls from my right. I turn to the blonde-haired, hazel-eyed woman. I didn't realize she was standing so close to me. She bats her eyelashes at me before continuing. "I would be honored to receive such a ring from the man who loved me." With hooded eyes she leans in even closer to my person. I take a step back instinctually, turning back to the case, and gazing at the ring once more before plucking it from the box. I gesture towards Mr. Gloss.

"I'll take it."

As I roll the ring between my fingers. Something suddenly occurs to me. I can't present Katniss this ring today as I had hoped to. I need to talk to Gale and to her mother first. _I am terrible at this. _My mother had basically taken the helm of my last engagement. I squeeze my eyes shut and rub my forehead roughly. When Mr. Gloss returns with a leather-bound book to write up my purchase, I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

"Can I look at your necklaces?"

Mr. Gloss's eyes widen momentarily before a cool smile takes hold of his mouth. He knows today will be a good day for him. He returns moments later with a couple of cases. He opens them both on the table in front of me, and I am once again overwhelmed by the choices. However, a necklace in the case to my right catches my eye immediately. It's a pearl necklace with silver clasps. The pearls themselves range in color from eggshell to black. I reach out to take the necklace from its velvet pillow, and am startled by how cool it feels on my skin. _Katniss will love this_.

"I can put it on for you if you like? You know, to see how it would look," Glimmer pipes in, reminding me of her presence in the room. I look up at her briefly, and smile out of politeness.

"No, thank you. Your complexion doesn't match hers so it wouldn't be much of a comparison." I nod my head to her, and I swear I hear her puff out a disgruntled breath. I turn to her father, letting him know that I have made my decision. He smiles wide.

After paying for my purchases out of the more than generous stipend that I received for this trip, I head back to the house, hoping my gift will not only make Katniss happy but softens the blow of the news about my next job for the Sons of Liberty.

When I arrive back at the Odairs, it is early evening. The sun has started to melt like butter in the sky. I move into the foyer and take in the quiet stillness of the house. I make my way through the first floor, noting the open entryway leading to the garden area. There I find Katniss asleep in a chair, a book titled Roxana by Daniel Defoe in her lap. Her hair is down and slightly curled from the humidity of the air, her lips are parted slightly as she quietly slumbers. No one else seems to be around so I take the opportunity to coax Katniss awake with my mouth on hers. A contented sigh leaves her before her eyes slowly open. I comb my fingers into the side of her hair, cupping her face as I drag my thumb across her cheek. Katniss sighs and leans into my touch.

"I missed you," she whispers as she turns her head to kiss the palm of my hand.

"I missed you more," I say with a smirk which she returns. "Where is everyone else?" Katniss sits up fully, rubbing her nap from her eyes.

"They had a get together with friends of theirs. They mentioned that they may end up spending the night. I was asked if I wanted to go with them, but I wanted to be here when you returned." A light pink flush covers the top of her cheeks. I lean over and kiss her on the forehead.

"I'm glad you stayed.," I admit. I look back to the empty house. "So we are alone tonight then," I add mischievously.

"I guess so." Katniss rises from the chair and takes my face in her hands, pulling my face down and attaching her mouth to my own, the tip of her tongue teasing the tip of mine. I groan in appreciation. "How was your meeting?" she asks dreamily. I pull away.

_Dammit!_

"Well before I tell you about my meeting, I have something I want to give you."

Katniss's eyes widen with curiosity as I reach into my coat, avoiding the pocket with her ring. I pull out a long, thin, wooden box and present it to her. She raises her eyebrows at me questioningly before carefully lifting open the lid. When she sees what is inside, her mouth drops open in shock. She quickly looks up at me before pulling the set of pearls out of the box, draping them over her fingers.

"Peeta...they are beautiful." She admires the pearls for a moment longer before gesturing to me to help her put it on. I oblige, taking the strand in my hands and standing behind Katniss.

I gently swipe her hair off to the side, revealing her slender neck to me. I clasp the pearls, and then lean down to kiss the exposed skin of her neck between the necklace and her hairline. I am unsure if it's the feel of my lips on her neck or the coolness of the pearls that elicits the little raised bumps on her soft skin to appear. She spins around and wraps her arms around my neck. Her ear presses into my chest over my heart.

"Thank you.," she murmurs softly. I wrap my arms around her waist pulling her flush against me. "But Peeta, you don't have to buy me things you know. I'll still marry you." I see her smile as I look down, but uneasiness fills me when I think of what I have to tell her.

"Well, Miss Everdeen, it's not a matter of buying you things, but about wanting to make you smile. I would do anything in my power to be able to make you smile like that everyday for the rest of my life." She just shakes her head an blushes at my declaration, but her smile does not lessen.

_It's now or never!_

"So..." I begin reluctantly, pulling her into the house with me. "I have something to tell you." The smile quickly falls from Katniss's face and is replaced with a look of concern. She doesn't say anything, so I continue. "The meeting went well", I half smile. "It looks like the plan has been set, should happen any day now really." I look at her; she is silently waiting for the punchline. "They used an idea of mine. I mean without my idea, they wouldn't even have a plan." I'm trying too hard, I know I am. Katniss is starting to scowl. She knows whatever is coming isn't good. "So the thing is... umm... I kind of...dammit...Katniss, I volunteered to help out." Her eyes narrow before she responds.

"What exactly did you volunteer for?" Her voice is calm, eerily calm. My nerves are a shredded mess.

"Well, I'm not really supposed to discuss the details in case..."

"Peeta Mellark, you tell me what you volunteered for right this moment!" She is glaring at me with such intensity. Her hands are balled up into fists and her knuckles are starting to whiten. I know I am in trouble. She is already infuriated with me and I have yet to tell her the part that will really set her off.

"The plan..." I scrub my face roughly with my hand. "The plan is to lure a British ship into a shallow part of the harbor in Warwick, Rhode Island. Once we ground the ship, we are to take it before... burning it." Katniss's eyes widen and her hand comes up to clasp over her now gaping mouth. She closes her eyes and shakes her head in small rapid bursts, as if trying to rid herself of what she just heard.

"You _volunteered _to capture and destroy a British vessel, a British vessel which most likely will be carrying armed soldiers..." She pauses for a brief second. "_That _is what you volunteered for?" I swallow roughly before slowly nodding my answer. "What in God's name possessed you to volunteer?" Her voice is loud and condescending, and it is starting to rub me the wrong way. Before I can answer her she begins to question me again. "Does Haymitch know about this?"

"No." I state defensively. "But he would understand, this is my duty as a patriot." I can hear my own disbelief in the words I am saying.

"No Peeta, your duty is to talk to people, to give them ideas so that they can hijack British ships. That," She points out the window behind her, "is not what your job is." I am frustrated by what her words imply.

"Are you saying I am incapable of getting my hands dirty, that I cannot pull off what these other men do everyday to fight against England?" Katniss looks taken aback, startled by my outburst.

"Is that what this is about? You feel the need to run off and get yourself killed so that you can prove something to yourself?" She spits the words at me, her face furious "To Hell with _your_ obligations right? Because Peeta Mellark wants to prove he can get a musket ball to the face like any other _patriot_." She is seething now, but so am I. She is yelling at me like I am a stupid child that would not know what danger looked like when faced with it. The next words tumble out of my mouth before I even decide I want to stop them.

"I shouldn't have even told you. I knew you would completely overreact as always." I watch as her gray eyes turn black. I know I have gone too far. I brace myself for the venom I know I am about to receive.

"Then why did you, huh? If you knew I would _overreact, _then why not just tell me you were going to a meeting. Answer me!" I dig my hands into my hair and pull at the strands in frustration.

"Because I _want_ to tell you. I don't want to keep things from you." Katniss responds with a mirthless laugh.

"Well that is real fresh coming from someone whose current fiancee had to hear, from his drunk collegemate mind you that he had already been previously engaged."

_What!? _

"What!? Where did that come from? I thought Delly didn't bother you?" I go to reach for her, but she pulls away, fueling my anger. "When did you want me to discuss that part of my past with you? When you were angry with me and not acknowledging my presence or when I was gone for two years?"

"We wrote letters constantly, you don't think you could have slipped it in there somewhere?"

"Oh...oh" I snort out a laugh. "And where exactly should I have _slipped _it in? Where Katniss? Somewhere between our discussions of self-pleasure or our confessions of love? Because I'm not really sure that would have worked." Katniss wraps her arms in front of her chest and levels me with her stare.

"Well, since you have everything figured out, how about you go and practice some of that self-pleasure? Because I will be sleeping alone tonight." And with that she turns on a heel and storms through the house. I turn, slamming my head into the first wall I can find.

* * *

I sit in the library alone with a drink for the rest of the night, stewing over our argument. I'm more angry at myself than anything. I reacted poorly when I knew damn well she would react the way she did. I don't know what it is about her; since the moment I have met her she has always kept me slightly off balance.

I don't want this anger to linger between us. I don't want to fight anymore. I just want to go to her and bury myself deep inside of her and forget about everything until the sun rises. However when I attempt the door that separates our rooms, I find it is locked, so I end up going to bed lonely. And no matter how hard I try, completely unsatisfied.

* * *

The message arrives midmorning. Upon returning home, Finnick greets me with a knowing smirk, but when he sees my anxious face, he looks worried. The messenger at the door keeps me from having to explain. I open the letter addressed to me, knowing exactly what it is. We will be taking the_ Gaspee_ tonight. Katniss sits with Annie, sipping tea, I notice her watching me as I read the letter. I catch her eyes as I refold the parchment, placing it back in its envelope before tossing the whole thing into the fire**.**

I don't tell Finnick or Annie too much of what is about to go down that evening. I suppose if I don't get myself killed I can tell them tomorrow. If something were to happen to me, I would prefer if they knew as little as possible.

Katniss continues to ignore me. Occasionally I catch her glancing my way with a sad look on her face, but as soon as my eyes meet hers, she turns away from me, and leaves the room. Both Annie and Finnick regard me curiously, but I don't have the energy to explain. Between the argument with Katniss and my nerves about tonight, I am in no mood to talk.

I am walking down the staircase to leave when I spot Katniss making her way up. She is close enough for me to touch when I finally call to her.

"Katniss." She stills beside me, but still doesn't look my way.

"Be careful, Peeta." It's barely a whisper. She starts to ascend the staircase again. Her retreating form breaks my heart. It hurts to breathe.

"I love you," I call out to her. She stills once again, hesitating briefly, before she climbs the rest of the stairs.

* * *

I meet the others at an empty warehouse on the docks of Warwick Harbor. I recognize all the men from the meeting. Joseph Bucklin greets me with a handshake as soon as I walk in, leading me to a chair before sitting beside me. I notice both Abraham Whipple and John Brown standing on a makeshift stage made of crates in front of us as the group waits. A few minutes after my arrival, Abraham begins to speak.

"_The Hannah_ is in place, and Captain Lindsey is aware of the route. He will lead _the Gaspee_ to Namquid Point. A message was intercepted by the British navy informing them that _the Hannah_ would be carrying a large shipment of guns that has not gone through customs." He surveys the room before continuing. "_The Gaspee_ has been patrolling Providence Harbor all day looking for_ the Hannah_." A few men mumble under their breath around me. "You will be split into two groups. One group comes with me, the other is with Mr. Brown. Once the_ Gaspee_ has been run aground each team will row to the ship and board on each side. Once on board, we must disarm the crew before setting fire to the ship."

Joseph is bouncing in the chair next to me like an excited child. When Abraham takes pause, he raises his hand. Abraham nods our way.

"What are we doing with the hostages?" The malicious smile on his face disturbs me. Abraham quirks an eyebrow before answering.

"Well, it would be preferable if we were able to allow the crew to disembark from the ship before the fire has been set. Everyone will be armed tonight, but we are not looking for a bloodbath. With that said, the two most important things to worry about are securing the ship and your own personal safety. It is expected that you take whatever action necessary if either of those objectives are threatened." Joseph seems to accept this answer. He nods and sits back in his chair.

My pulse is racing. The last time I even held a gun was when my father took me bird hunting when I was about twelve. Neither of us were very good, and I could barely figure out how to shoot the gun, nevermind aim to kill anything. I wish I had asked Katniss to teach me at some point.

_What have I gotten myself into? _

About an hour later, we are standing around two large rowboats. We have been split into two groups of twelve. I am in the group lead by John Brown and to my chagrin, Joseph Bucklin is also in my group; his giddiness is unnerving.

It's another two hours before we see the two ships approach. The moon is bright and the sky is clear, so we are able to see the chase clearly. As the two ships close on the point, _the Hannah_ pulls out into the harbor at the last minute, leaving the_ Gaspee_ with no choice but to ground at the edge of the point.

"Let's move!" John Brown yells. Most of the men pile into the boat with our grappling hooks while four of us push the boat out. I run until I am shin-deep in water before leaping onto the boat. I look to my right and about fifty feet away, I can see Abraham's boat moving in the direction of the_ Gaspee_.

When we get close enough to use the hooks, we throw them over the ships rail and as quietly as possible, we climb to the deck. I have never been comfortable with heights, but I manage to climb the rope with ease, refusing to look down.

Once on deck, I look around to see most of the crew have already been unarmed and have surrendered to the Sons of Liberty. I let out a small sigh of relief, hoping that the rest of the night is this easy._ I may get home alive after all. _Suddenly I feel someone tug at my arm. I turn to see Joseph Bucklin gesturing for me to follow him, and for some reason I don't hesitate to follow.

"Where are we going?" I ask as he runs towards the stairs leading below the deck.

"You and I are going to find the captain." My heart is beating rapidly again. Do I turn around and go back? Would that make me a coward? This man is brave enough to take on a British-trained captain, so why aren't I?

I decide to continue following Joseph to the captain's quarters. Once there, Joseph opens the door without any sort of hesitation. I watch in slow motion as Joseph is tackled by a man dressed in in a British navy uniform. I can only assume he is the captain.

Without a moment's hesitation, I run into the room and push the captain off Joseph. I turn him so he is facing me before punching him hard in the nose. Blood gushes out of his nostrils and an unsettling cracking noise comes from the area where my fist connects. The captain stumbles backwards and falls to the ground nursing his injury.

When I turn back to check on Joseph, the look on Joseph's face when I turn back can only be called murderous. He flashes a scathing look over my shoulder to the captain on the floor while reaching into his pocket to retrieve a pistol. He quickly points it at the bleeding man, pulling back the hammer.

"Stop!" I wave my hands in front of him. "Joseph don't, we're not here for that. He's down." Joseph looks completely confused by my words. I cautiously put my hands on his shoulder and speak in a calming voice. "Put the pistol away." He slowly complies. The gun is just back in his inner coat pocket when I hear the familiar sound of a gun's hammer behind me. I slowly turn around to see the captain on his feet again and a pistol pointed directly at my face.

Everything stands still. I feel like I am outside of my body taking the scene in. There I am, standing stoically still, while a swollen-nosed captain has a gun in my face. It's not fear I feel however, but regret.

"Traitor!" the captain seethes at me, bringing me back from my outer body experience.

_I shouldn't be here. I should be in bed with Katniss. My lips against her lips, my skin against her skin. Sheathed inside of her, hearing her whimpers and my moans. Loving her as she loves me. I shouldn't be here, I should be home with Katniss. Katniss is my home. _

I watch as the captain's finger tightens around the trigger, waiting for the impact and the pain to shoot through me. I am too lost in my regrets though to notice that the gun has failed to go off. I am so shocked however when I do realize it that I am not quick enough to deflect the chair that the captain has grabbed after dropping his gun. The heavy chair crashes into my side. I wail in pain as I fall to the wooden floor. It is then I finally hear a gun go off.

I look up to see Joseph, gun in hand, standing over the fallen captain. The captain is still conscious but writhing in pain on the floor, grabbing his midsection.

"Come on," Joseph says as he grabs my arm and hoists me to my feet. I hiss at the pain from the sudden movement, my right side screaming in agony. I follow Joseph out of the cabin; each step is excruciating, but I manage to keep up. A few fires have already been started around the ship as we make our way for the ropes. Joseph goes down first but stays close to me as I barely manage to make my way down the rope to the waiting boat.

Most of the men are in jovial spirits as we head back to shore, hooting and cheering into the night sky. I sit quietly, unwilling to take part in their triumph and hoping that my ribs aren't broken, but knowing full well that things could have been so much worse.

_I almost died tonight!_

Joseph watches me curiously for a few minutes before joining the celebration with the rest of the men. Once back on shore, I turn around for the first time since leaving the ship to see the reaching flames, glowing wood and billowing smoke of the_ Gaspee's_ final moments.

* * *

The carriage ride back to the house is a painful one. Every little bump sets off a shooting pain through my aching ribs.

The house is quiet when I arrive, the hour being close to three in the morning. I climb the stairs slowly and make my way towards my room. I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep for days. I walk into my dark bedroom, with only the light of a candle to guide me, closing the door behind me. I begin stripping my clothes as I head towards the bed. When I am close enough, that's when I spot her.

Katniss is curled up on my bed. She lies on her side, her knees pulled up almost to her chest. In her hand, she clutches a handkerchief and her face seems splotchy in the meager light from my candle. I sit on the edge of the bed, taking in her sleeping form. As I watch the rise and fall of her chest as she breathes I can't stop thinking that I may have never seen this again. I am trying to decide if I should wake her when her eyes suddenly fly open.

"Peeta?" she whispers disbelievingly.

I don't even get to answer before she sits up and launches herself at me. I wince but do everything in my power to hold back a cry of pain, not wanting for her to know I am hurt. I realize that I have done a poor job of this when she pulls back from me, studying my face.

"You're hurt," she states. I shake my head.

"It's nothing I'm fine I just need..."

"Show me," she demands, but her face immediately softens before repeating in a gentler voice. "Show me please." I untie my undershirt and pull it off. Katniss uses my candle to light the lantern next to the bed for better light. I hear her gasp as she inspects my right side. When I look down, I see that the area is swollen and a very angry bruise is starting to form. Katniss jumps out of bed. "Lie down," she instructs. I do as I am told, much too defeated at this point to argue. Katniss straddles my waist, placing the lantern on the bed. She leans forward to get a closer look at my ribs. She drags her fingers over the still-forming bruise. I hiss out loud, and she pulls away.

"Oh Peeta!" And with that she begins to cry. "I am so very sorry."

"Shh Katniss, it's ok. You have no reason to be sorry." I rub my hands up and down her thighs trying to soothe her, but her tears continue.

"You could have died, and I acted the way I did. I may never have seen you again, and I was too angry to tell you that I love you." She silently sobs above me. Tears prick my own eyes between her sorrow and my inability to move to comfort her because of the sheer pain I am in.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Delly." I don't know what else to say, starting with an apology seems like a good place to start. Katniss snorts at me, and then fixes me into an incredulous stare. She rubs her eyes with the palms of her hands.

"I never cared about any of that, Peeta. I just... I don't know... When I get sad or scared it's hard... It's hard for me to express it, and instead I just get so angry. I was so angry at you for going because I was so scared you were going to get hurt or worse." She swallows hard and her face contorts with the threat of tears. "And I was so angry at you when you left because it broke my heart that I wasn't reason enough for you to stay."

One blink is all the hesitation I take before I mumble a _screw it _to my hurt ribs and quickly shift myself up on the bed. A few tears leak from my eyes in the process, but I know they aren't because of my physical pain. I grasp on to Katniss's hips so she doesn't fall off me.

"Peeta!" she yelps when I shift, but I ignore her. Once I have managed to prop myself up against the headboard and I am face to face with her I realize I can't take even this smallest bit of distance between us. I reach for the back of her head, crashing her lips into mine. This is all I will ever want, she is all I will ever want for the rest of my life. How could I have been so stupid, so foolish? How could I have put myself in a situation to lose all of this over a misguided sense of pride?

"Oh God, Katniss," I utter as I pull away. "I am so sorry. I love you. I love you. I love you." Each declaration brings a kiss to her mouth, her jaw, her neck. Katniss smiles and cries and laughs all at the same time, and I know I need more than anything right now to be inside of her. I need to show her that with her is where I want to be, that I am not home unless I am with her. I forget myself and move to gently push her back in the bed so that I can climb on top of her. The resulting pain is blinding.

"Damn it!" I curse myself. I attempt again not ready to admit defeat. I need Katniss more than anything right now. She understands what I am trying to do and puts her hand to my chest.

"Shhh," she soothes. "Let me take care of you." She places the lantern on the bedside table, then stands so she is hovering over my incapacitated form. She begins to shimmy down her undergarments from beneath her nightgown. Then _one_... she smirks at me. _Two_... she lowers herself. _Three_...she guides me into her wet tightness. I groan in relief. I am home.

"Katniss." I call to her between her whimpers and my moans. "I love you, only you. Only ever you," I groan as she slowly rocks above me, rising and falling. Her breaths are shallow, her whimpers making me buck my hips against her with every fall. My ribs hurt like hell, but I need this, I need her. "I never..." I groan. "Want to be..." She moans in response. "Anywhere unless I'm with you." She smiles at me then, a smile so brilliant, so alive, that I know she feels the same way.

* * *

**Please check out my Tumblr under the name Streetlightlove1. I will be posting pics of the ring, necklace, and my fancast of Patriot!Peeta which was made up for me by the lovely Pookieh.**

**Fun Facts:**

**1. Katniss is at it again! The book she was reading 'Roxana' by Daniel Defoe is about the life of a mistress. It was considered a risque novel published in 1724. **

**2. The Gaspee Affair did go over mostly without a hitch. The only injury was to that of Lieutenant William Dudingston, the captain, who was in fact shot by a one Joseph Bucklin. **

**3. I did most of my beta's edits while sitting in the hospital contracting for 12 hours. But since I don't have a baby yet, you get a chapter...;)**

**Thanks so much for reading**


	16. Chapter 16

**You guys! I am so incredibly sorry that this chapter is nearly 2 months late! For those of you who are still reading this, I thank you from the bottom of my heart... My excuses are as follows - Had a baby mid February, and did a fic for the spring fling on Ao3. I can't tell you which one I did, but the authors will be revealed tomorrow, and I will publish my fic here then... **

**Other Spring Flings you should check out though - 'Found', 'Into the Wild', and 'Surviving Death'. All of them are Epic Fics.**

**A huge thank you to my lovely beta's Court81981, Pookieh and Katnissinme. Without you guys I would be lost!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"What were you thinking, boy?!" The voice is accompanied by the scent of rum, pipe tobacco and an off-putting sourness.

Haymitch's carriage was already waiting for Katniss and I as we pulled up to the house. He had hung his scraggly-haired head out the door, and demanded that I '_get in'_. Katniss threw me a sympathetic yet amused look as she scurried up the backstairs to the house. Haymitch moved his face only a mere inch from mine once I was seated in front of him. Apparently he _didn't _understand my actions in Rhode Island.

"Well don't just sit there all doe-eyed. Answer me, boy."

"Will you stop calling me 'boy'!" I growl back at him. He pulls back a little and quirks his eyebrow.

I assume my reluctance to answer has not gone unnoticed when Haymitch nods knowingly at me, and a smirk pulls at his mouth. "I get it. Riches to rags needed to prove himself. Needed to rub elbows with the grunts. Well, guess what kid, that isn't your job." My head lowers as it shakes, and I can't help the chuckle that escapes my mouth.

"What's so funny?" Haymitch eyes me suspiciously.

"Katniss said the same thing. You two are eerily similar."

Haymitch just grunts as he settles back into his seat. "Maybe between the both of us we'll manage to keep you alive."

"Aww Haymitch, you were worried about my well being?" He snarls his lip at me as I grin back at him. "Well if you haven't noticed I'm still alive."

"Hmph! Believe me, you getting killed would have been the least of my problems these past couple of days." I look at him questioningly. He seems amused by my lack of understanding. "I can't have the face of this rebellion getting maimed, or arrested and put on trial, because then you are completely useless to me. At least if you're dead, I could turn you into a martyr for the cause."

"Sorry to disappoint," I mumble dejectedly. Haymitch's face softens at my tone.

"Listen kid, I like you. You're good at what you do, and you are invaluable to the cause, so please don't get yourself over excited and make my job harder than it has to be." He pats me on the side of my arm. I know this is probably as close to a genuine compliment that I am going to receive from my unconventional mentor. I look at him and smile.

"Okay, Haymitch, I get it. No more trying to get myself killed or _worse."_ I dramatically widen my eyes, and Haymitch shakes his head at me.

"Alright boy, get out of here. I'm done looking at your face." I chuckle as I climb out of his carriage and shut the door behind me. As I get to the steps leading to the Everdeen house, I hear him yell again.

"And will you make an honest woman out of that girl already? I don't want you to end up being useless to me because of your reputation of being a scoundrel." I roll my eyes but tip my hat towards the man in acknowledgement before heading up the stairs.

I think about the past week and all that has occurred as my boots hit every step on the way up...

_The morning after I played part in the capture of a British ship, we had woken up tangled, legs and arms draped around each other. The apparent mood change between Katniss and I since just the evening before did not go unnoticed by Finnick or Annie at breakfast. Finnick gave us a suggestive smirk and waggled his eyebrows. Annie simply shook her head at us in disbelief. Later in the day, Finnick and I sat outside near the garden, enjoying the warm summer breeze._

"_That girl has a lot of fire in her," Finnick points out. _

"_I know that." I say with a nod. I take a long puff from the cigar in my hand. Finnick studies me for a moment before his lips curl up in a smile._

"_Well, you need to learn how to stoke those flames without them getting out of control." He chortles at his own metaphor as I roll my eyes in his direction. Suddenly the smirk leaves Finnick's face, and he regards me with a serious visage before speaking again._

"_I'm serious Peet, if you pull another stunt like you did last night, I'm not going to feel the least bit sorry for you when you get burnt."_

Finnick's words linger in my mind causing me to hesitate briefly before entering the Everdeen residence. I walk into the kitchen just in time to see Prim in Katniss's embrace. Mrs. 0oEverdeen stands close by, her hands on her hips and a smile on her face. Gale sits at the table taking in the sisters' reunion. He must hear me come in behind him because he turns to look at me.

"Pretty Boy." Gale greets me with a nod of his head. His expression is guarded. I think back to the conversation we had before Katniss and I travelled to Rhode Island. I then think about the conversation I am about to have with him, and I find myself trying to desperately swallow against my dry mouth and throat.

"Peeta." Mrs. Everdeen notices me for the first time and walks over to me taking my face in her hands, planting a kiss on my forehead. "It's good to see you." I witness the happiness sparkle in her eyes.

"Peeta!" I hear the tell-tale squeal of Primrose Everdeen as she attaches herself to my side. I wrap my arm around her, and she buries her face in my chest, squeezing me tight. "I'm so happy you two are home." I smile.

I look up and meet Katniss's eyes. She smiles wide at me, the gesture making my heart skip a beat. Katniss nods almost imperceptibly, and I know she is letting me know it is time.

"Prim," Katniss calls to her sister. "Come with me to the bedroom. I have gifts for you." Prim detaches herself from me, quickly falling in line next to her older sister. Katniss places a gentle hand on the middle of Prim's back, guiding her towards their bedroom. Just before she is out of sight, Katniss turns her head to glance at me once more. I put on a brave face and smile at her, nodding and hoping she doesn't see the nerves behind my facade.

I look to Mrs. Everdeen and Gale, who are both staring at me with great interest. I feel a sharp shiver run up my spine and hope that the lump in my throat does not prevent me from speaking.

"Mrs. Everdeen, Gale, there is something I would like to discuss with both of you." Mrs. Everdeen joins Gale, sitting down at the table. I unconsciously begin pacing, trying to gather the words I need to ask them the most important question of my life. My heart is racing, and I feel sweat begin to to collect at my temples. My hands begin to tremble. Sometimes before I would speak to groups of colonists, I would be anxious, shaken. Yet, standing here now, I am absolutely petrified.

_Why am I so nervous?_ I chide myself. _Do I honestly think they will say no? _I glance at Gale, who regards me with narrowed eyes, and I wonder if I do have something to worry about.

"I...uhh." I rub the back on my neck.

"Peeta, darling." I look up and meet Mrs. Everdeen's pale blue eyes. "Just ask us."

I release a shaky breath followed by a nervous chuckle. I gather what little bit of resolve I have left."Mrs. Everdeen, Gale." I nod to both of them. "I am in love with Katniss and have been for quite some time now. I have wanted to marry her, but Katniss made her opinions on marriage perfectly clear."

Gale snorts. I glance up and catch Mrs. Everdeen shaking her head disapprovingly at him. I crack a smile, feeling some of the anxiety leave me before I continue. "Well, while we were away, we talked about our future." I try desperately not to recall our time sharing a bed, of my mouth between Katniss's thighs, or the way she felt as she straddled me and rode me into the night. "Well." I rub the back of my neck. "She _wants _to marry me now." Mrs. Everdeen's jaw drops, and Gale furrows his brow at me. _Are they actually that surprised?_

"Catnip?" Gale asks doubtfully, and I nod. "Katniss?" I nod again. "My cousin?" I let out an exasperated laugh. "Katniss Everdeen..." I close my eyes and shake my head. "Said she would _marry_ you?"

"_She_ asked _me_," I say with a smirk.

Gale's eyes widen; he turns to Mrs. Everdeen, who appears to have tears in her eyes. "You said yes, right."

Its an absurd question, but for the first time ever I hear a meekness in Mrs. Everdeen's voice. I walk over to her seated form, reaching down to claim her hand in mine.

"Of course," I say softly, and I watch a smile capture her face a second before her tears do. "I wanted to talk to you about it first, to ask your permission." With that, Mrs. Everdeen flies out of her seat and wraps her arms around my neck.

Her voice cracks. "I have wanted this for you both for so long. The way you looked at her was the way her papa used to look at me, and the way she looked at you... I...," She pauses "You are a good man, Peeta Mellark. I couldn't be happier."

"Me either." I whisper into her hair. The clearing of Gale's throat pulls us apart. I turn to look at him, wondering how he is taking this news.

When I see his face, his eyes are narrowed, his mouth set in a tight line. Gale stands impossibly tall, his chest slightly puffed out. For a while he stands there unmoving, just glaring at me.

"Gale Hawthorne," Mrs. Everdeen warns, but Gale simply shakes her off. I meet his scrutiny straight on, wondering if I am going to have to defend myself against him.

"You!" He points to me, closing the distance between us. "You better treat her well, and keep her safe for the rest of your life, or God help me I will gut you, you hear me Mellark? I. Will. Gut. You." His face is hardened rock, and I know that the man means it. I give him one deliberate nod, never breaking eye contact. I know Gale doesn't need reassurances of my love, but instead, he needs me to understand the threat against me if I ever ruin this.

Gale pins me with his critical stare for a moment longer, then I watch his feature soften as a slow smile pulls at his face. He grabs me by the arm, pulling me into a strong embrace.

"Welcome to the family, Pretty Boy." He congratulates and I hear the smile in his voice. I hold him tight for a moment before, patting him on the back and pulling away from him. The anxiety that had churned my stomach just moments before has finally dissipated.

"Katniss, Primrose, you can come back in here," Mrs. Everdeen calls down the hallway. Moments later Prim skips down the hallway towards the kitchen, followed by a reluctant Katniss. When she reaches the kitchen she looks to me briefly before being pulled into her mother's arms.

"Oh Katniss, darling, congratulations." She takes her eldest daughter's face in her hands, kissing her cheeks.

"Thank you Mama." She hugs her mother again, looking at me with a smile on her face as her chin rests on her mother's shoulder. I smile back, my heart completely full with the knowledge that now nothing stands in the way of Katniss Everdeen becoming my wife.

Prim jumps up and down in place, clapping her hands, and then she launches herself in my arms.

"Thank you for preventing my sister from becoming an old maid," she squeals.

"Prim!" Katniss yells, which leaves her younger sister in a fit of laughter as my own laugh tears from my throat, earning me a scowl from Katniss.

Soon everyone has embraced each other, offering both Katniss and me their well wishes. A blissfulness blankets the house for the rest of the night.

Later, I find myself in the small bed in my room off of the apothecary. Mrs. Everdeen had produced a bottle of alcohol during dinner, and everyone had wandered to their own corners of the house with full bellies and fuzzy heads.

I lie in bed, reminiscing about the day, happy that Katniss's mother approves and even more pleased that Gale approves. And knowing that Katniss loves me, wants to marry me, keeps the smile on my face as I slowly doze off.

I'm awoken a short time later by soft humming in my ear and the feel of gentle fingers running through my hair. I open my eyes to the sight of Katniss sitting on the edge of my bed, leaning towards my face.

"Hello, my love," she purrs at me; her voice appears to make the light of her lantern bounce, casting her shaky shadow against the far wall.

"Hi," I respond, my voice groggy with sleep.

"I missed you," she whispers into my ear.

"I always miss you when you're away from me." I confess as I pull her head towards my mouth, claiming her lips with mine.

Soon enough our kiss becomes heated. We paw at each other, and my hand slides under her nightdress, my fingers climbing up her legs to drag along her wet core, forcing her to suck in a loud breath. She rubs her palm over my bulge, making me groan with pleasure. We both know where this is headed. We both want it to go there.

"Katniss!" I manage to call out in a strangled voice, cursing myself as I do it. Katniss's ministrations halt as she quirks an eyebrow at me. I force my gaze up to the ceiling, gesturing to it with my chin. "We can't, Katniss, not here, not with your mother, who just gave me permission to marry you, right above us."

Katniss begins to pout, but before I can change my mind, she lets out a sigh and nods her head in agreement. We reluctantly detach from each others grasp, despite the throbbing I feel below because of her.

She stands, straightening out her nightdress when she does. She looks to me, offering a small smile.

"Well, I suppose I should..."

"Wait!" I nearly shout, reaching out to grab her hand. I push myself up to a sitting position with a little effort because of my ribs which are still quite sore.

I release my grip on Katniss only long enough to reach into my bag to retrieve a small wooden box. This time when I take Katniss's hand in mine, I bring it to my mouth, placing a kiss on the back of her palm.

"I love you, Katniss, more than you know, more than I could put into words. When I am away from you, I feel empty, but I feel invincible when you are by my side. I cannot express to you the joy I feel to be living forever after with you." I pull my hand away to open the box, revealing the heart-shaped diamond and ruby engagement ring I bought her just a few days before.

At the sight of it, Katniss sucks in a sharp breath. Her shaky fingers touch the ring. She looks between me and the ring over and over, tears starting to pool in her eyes.

"Peeta, It's the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen" She says breathlessly as she gazes at the ring.

"Oh, I don't know about that." I look at her face before I continue. "I've seen more gorgeous." Katniss stills, lifting her eyes from the ring up to my face, and I can tell by her expression she knows my meaning. I carefully pull the ring out of the box, taking her left hand in mine and slipping the perfectly-fitted ring onto her slender finger.

"I love you." She breathes, her voice is full of emotion as she wraps her arms around my neck. I pull her onto my lap, winding my arms around her waist and pulling her close enough so I can smell the forest in her hair. After a long while, Katniss pulls away, studying my face.

"Can I stay with you, not to do anything... just sleep?" she asks sheepishly. I would never be able to deny her, would never be able to deny myself her warmth curled around me as I sleep. I nod to her, kissing her gently on her lips before shifting to make room for her small frame.

As Katniss's form molds to mine, I breathe in her scent, feel her warmth. My eyelids droop, and my mind becomes cloudy, but even as the heaviness of sleep overtakes me, I know I have never been happier.

* * *

**Up next: The Wedding! It will be from Katniss's POV mostly because I want to talk about how good Peeta looks. HAHA!**

**Fun Facts: I have 3 Massachusetts facts for you today!**

**1. While developing the telephone, Alexander Graham Bell lived in Salem, Massachusetts. On February 12, 1877, Bell made the first long-distance phone call in history from the Lyceum (a restaurant) in Salem to the _Boston Globe_ in Boston**

**2. On January 15, 1919, in the North End of Boston, A large molasses storage tank burst, and a wave of molasses rushed through the streets at an estimated 35 mph, killing 21 and injuring 150.**

**3. There is a house in Rockport, Ma built entirely of newspaper. **

**Come visit me on Tumblr under the name: Streetlightlove1**

**Thanks for reading!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi everyone! **

**Happy April 19th 2013 - Also known as the 238th anniversary of the battle of Lexington and Concord, which is considered the official beginning of the American Revolutionary War. In Massachusetts we observed this day last Monday April, 15. We call it Patriots Day, but to most other Americans it is known as Marathon Monday. **

**I am sure all of you are aware of the tragic events that occurred that day, and because this story takes place in Boston, and because of the dates connection with this story I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge the events, but also to talk about the strength of Bostonians. It takes a great deal to knock us down, and even then we are quick get back up, dust ourselves off and jump into the fray once again. It is why we are the cradle of the American Revolution. I can only hope that I convey this incredible strength in my story. **

**And with that please enjoy this ginormous chapter from Katniss's POV. **

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October 1772

I stare at my reflection in the large mirror cut on the wall of my mother's room. I am sitting in a stool while my mother works on my hair, and my sister applies rouge to my cheeks. Normally I wouldn't stand for such fussing over something as superficial as my appearance. I find practicality in such matters much more suitable. I would wear pants every day of the week if it wouldn't offend my mother so. I normally would scoff at my mother and sister's attempts to make me pretty, but today is different. Today, I welcome their talent that I could never dream of possessing.

In just a few short hours, I, Katniss Everdeen, will become Mrs. Peeta Mellark.

The thought brings a giggle to my lips. This halts my mother's movements with my hair, and I catch her staring at me in the mirror. I can already see the tears brimming in her eyes, but also a playful smile on her lips, because she is just as surprised that I am to be sitting here today.

If I am to be completely honest Peeta crept up on me. At first, I thought him to be arrogant and brazen. I will admit, however, even in the midst of cautiously observing him, I found his smile to be disarming, and his cornflower blue eyes to penetrate my guard. He made me unbelievably nervous.

"There." My mother sighs, snapping me out of my memory as she finishes inserting the last pin into my beautifully coiffed hair. I gaze at myself in the mirror, turning my head from side to side to take in the look of my hair. "Stand up," my mother directs. "Take a look at yourself." I obey, standing up and retreating so that my whole form is captured by the mirror. A gasp escapes me, and my hand moves to cover my mouth.

I am not pretty. I am not beautiful. I am as radiant as the sun.

Half my hair is pinned up high on the crown of my head, while the other half hangs in an elaborate braid down the center of my back. I have seen the style before in pictures of well-to-do women. My dress is white with ruffles at my chest, my wrists and at the bottom of my skirt. I look like an angel.

"Oh, Katniss!" My sister hugs my arm, her face heavy with emotion. "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." I turn to smile at her, but the look of complete awe upon her face clouds my own eyes with tears.

"Thank you," I whisper, trying to hide the emotion in my voice. I look to my mother again, who is smiling lovingly at the both of us. When she catches my gaze, she closes the distance and wraps her arms around both of us, bringing my sister and I into a three-person hug.

"I love you both so very much, my darlings," my mother says proudly, as we hold onto each other for a very long time. A knock on my mother's bedroom door pulls us apart. "Come in!" she calls. The door opens a moment later, and Rue enters the room. When she sees me, her face breaks out into a smile.

"The carriage is here," Rue announces. "And you look ravishing." Even though I cannot deny that she is right, a disbelieving laugh escapes my lips.

"Are you ready for this?" I turn towards my mother's voice; her face is completely serious. I reach out and take both of her hands in mine. I nod.

"As long as I am with Peeta, I will be ready for anything." My voice quivers on the last word as my mother nods back at me. She then picks up my headpiece from the vanity, deftly attaching it at the top of my head.

When she is finished, I feel my mother rest her hand upon my shoulder, squeezing it gently. "Then let's get you married."

* * *

The carriage seems to be moving much too fast, but also taking forever all at the same time. My mother, Prim, Rue and Margaret Undersee accompany me.

Margaret—or 'Madge' as she likes to be called—has been courted by my cousin for sometime now. They are completely smitten with each other, and I know that once Gale has saved up a good nest egg he will ask her to be his wife. During their courtship, Madge and I have become close friends. She shares my love of books, especially novels of a questionable nature.

When the carriage enters the area near the common, I stare out down streets lined with trees that are covered with their autumn-colored foliage, wondering. Peeta had told me close to a month ago that he had procured my wedding present. I begged for him to tell me what it was. He just gave me that cocky smirk of his and refused to utter a word. Even after I had kissed us both breathless, he still refused to give me even the slightest hint. Luckily for me, Primrose is much easier to persuade. Peeta has bought me a house, somewhere near the Common. Prim refused me the details of its specific location, but assured me that she has seen the house and in her own words, it is 'perfect.'

Apparently my mother never spent a single coin of the money Peeta had sent us the entire time he was away. The sum of it added up to a moderate sized fortune which my mother had insisted that Peeta take it as a dowry of sorts. Begrudgingly, Peeta accepted the money, and now I, as a result, own a house. I give every home we pass in the area a second glance, wondering if that is where we are going to start our lives together.

Soon enough, but not as quick as i had hoped, we pull up in front of the North Church. The red brick building with the tall white steeple is surrounded by the carriages of our wedding guests. Peeta and I wanted nothing more than a small intimate wedding with close friends and family, but Haymitch had more grandiose ideas. He believed that given Peeta's popularity amongst the revolutionaries throughout the colonies that our special day should be open to certain figures in the community. _"Everyone roots for young love,"_ Haymitch had asserted in the midst of the argument. It took us a long time to agree to what he asked. It touched my heart that I gave in before Peeta; he wanted this day to be only about us, but eventually he relented.

Its a beautiful mid-October day. As I step down from the carriage with the help of my ladies and the driver, I take a deep breath, inhaling the crisp fall air, while reveling in the warmth of the sunshine.

We are ushered through the front door of the church and up a flight of stairs to the left then brought to a small room with a few chairs and a vanity with a large mirror. Tea is set up for us on a small table in the middle of the room.

Now that I am here in this church, and my wedding is not far off now, my nerves finally make their presence known. It has nothing to do with Peeta. I have never felt so confident of anything or anyone in my life than how I feel about being with him. I am nervous, however, to admit these things to a church full of people, most of whom I don't even know. Peeta wanted us to write our own vows, and at the time I found the notion to be insanely romantic, but now the idea of it makes my heart pound and my underarms sweat.

The women in the room sit me in front of the vanity while buzzing around me, fixing my dress, my makeup, my hair. My mother tugs on my chin to release the lip I have been worrying with my teeth while consumed by my own thoughts. There is a knock on the door, which Prim runs over to answer. I see Gale's reflection in the mirror as he enters the room, his hat in his hands. His jacket and pants are charcoal black, and he wears a cream colored shirt.

"Can I have a moment with Katniss?" Gale asks. My mother nods, looking to me and smiling before shooing the ladies out of the room. As Madge, in her lovely burgundy dress, passes Gale at the doorway, he stops her, taking her hand in his and turning it so he can kiss her palm. I can see her blush from here. I shake my head at the scene, wondering when the boy who used to play in the mud with me, who made wooden swords so we could play knights together, who used to climb trees with me became a man and such a romantic one at that.

My mother is the last to leave, stopping at the door to face Gale. "You make sure to get her down there, you hear me, Gale Hawthorne?"

Gale barks out a laugh. "I promise, Aunt Lily," he pledges, leaning down and kissing her on the cheek. My mother closes the door when she leaves. Gale drops down in the seat next to me.

"You sure about this, Catnip?" I turn to meet Gale's pensive stare. The question hangs in the air and worries me.

"I thought you approved of Peeta?" I ask, nervously awaiting his answer.

"Oh, I do. He's a good man, and he loves you so much." I feel a slight blush hit my cheeks. "But if you are not sure about any of this, I need to know."

"It wouldn't matter though, would it? You already promised Mama to deliver me to the altar." I hope my light tone cuts through the seriousness of this conversation. Gale shrugs.

"I don't care what I promised, you say the word and I would have him taken care of. I could do it you know" I snort at the suggestion.

"You would get caught, and they would hang you." I smirk as I play along.

"Not if I ran away." He replies in all seriousness

"What about Madge?" My question draws a smile from Gale for the first time.

"Maybe she would come with me," he reasons. I chuckle softly, shaking my head at his proposition. He reaches down and takes my hands in his.

"I'm serious, Catnip. I would do anything for you. You are so important to me, your happiness is so important to me. You are not just my cousin, you're my sister." I feel tears begin to prick the corner of my eyes. I pull one of my hands free from his, raising it to cup his cheek. I look into his gray eyes that resemble mine, eyes I got from my father, and he from his mother.

"And you are not just my brother." My voice cracks with emotion. "You're my best friend." We pull our hands away from each other in unison before pulling the other into an embrace.

"I love you, Katniss."

"I love you, Gale." I say before pulling back. "And Gale?" I have his attention. "I love him too, so much, so very very much." Gale smiles at me and nods.

"Then I better keep my promise to Aunt Lily."

* * *

Gale and I stand hand in hand, fingers intertwined, behind the set of doors that separate us from family, friends, guests and Peeta. The organ music begins, and Gale squeezes my hand once more before taking his hand away, offering me his arm instead. He leans over and kisses me on the cheek.

"You look beautiful, by the way. Like a real girl," he says with a smirk only seconds before the large oak double doors open revealing us to the people inside. I still manage to kick the side of his shin for his comment without anyone noticing. Gale is forced to swallow the sound of his pain. I rest my arm on his as soon as he recovers, and we begin walking down the aisle. Everyone stands and all heads turn to look at me. My cheeks flush and my heart speeds up from the sudden attention, as a wave of nervousness crashes over me. My hand clasps onto Gale's wrist, and for a moment I wonder why I am even here, and what would possess me to do this. Its then that I look up and remember.

There, standing at the end of the aisle flanked by Finn, and my sister, is Peeta. His pants are black, and his shirt cream like Gale's, but his jacket is a bright blue that almost resembles the color of his eyes, which are on me. Suddenly they are the only eyes I feel. They are the only eyes that matter.

The rest of the walk towards the altar seems to happen in a blink of an eye, and my hand is being placed in Peeta's by Gale. Peeta's warm hands quickly wrap around mine, pulling me up the steps so that I am standing in front of him. My eyes at first take in the stray golden curls that hang down on his forehead, and then move onto the rest of his haphazard waves. I glance at his mouth. His perfect lips are slightly parted. I crave their softness in this moment, a softness I have felt on so many parts of my body. I can't help but recall the first time we were intimate—out in the woods, my naked flesh pressed against the rough bark of a tree, Peeta's lips trailing kisses from my mouth to my eager core. The memory forces me to clench my thighs together tightly, and for once I am happy to be wearing a dress. I watch his lips as he silently mouths one word, _Beautiful._

I have to look away from his lips and into those beautiful cornflower blue eyes, that shine brighter from the sunlight pouring into the church. I could stare into them all day, and I look forward to staring into them for the rest of my life. His eyes are what I fell in love with first. When he was gone all that time, it was the memory of those eyes, and the way they seem to smile all on their own, that would make up my fantasies, where they would hover above me as I lay naked in bed, carrying the promise to quell the constant ache and loneliness that I felt while Peeta was away.

The minister clears his throat, and it brings me back to the present, but I am still unable to pull my eyes away from my astonishingly handsome husband-to-be. _Gale's nickname for him fits quite well, _I note to myself.

The ceremony begins, I barely hear a word, as I am distracted by the lazy circles that Peeta draws on the back of my hands with his thumbs, as his mouth continues to silently form words and phrases for me, _I love you. Gorgeous. I am so happy. _

The time to exchange vows comes all too quickly, and my heart begins racing again. The elderly minister asks Peeta to go first. He squeezes both my hands while straightening himself. He clears his throat then takes a deep breath. I can't help wonder if he acts this way anytime he is about to speak in public or if he is as nervous about this part as I am. His eyelids fall shut for a brief moment before they open again, finding my eyes before he speaks.

"Katniss." He pauses. There are no nerves apparent in his deep voice, and the sound of him saying my name soothes away my anxiety. "When I first met you, I was taken by surprise. Your presence demanded attention, and I was knocked off balance, a balance, I'll admit, I have yet to recover." He smiles at me. "That night over dinner, I knew that I _needed _to get to know you, knew I needed that more than I've needed anything in my entire life.

"So that's what I did, and I found this stunningly beautiful young woman to be intelligent, cunning, brave, strong. " He pauses with a smirk. " And hot-headed, stubborn, and occasionally infuriating." I scowl and he, along with a handful of other people present, chuckles. "But," he continues, his face again serious, "she is also kind, loving, devoted and fiercely loyal, and I found myself falling for her quicker than I should have." The look in his eyes as he speaks these words for me causes a burning in my belly, and my breath to catch in my throat.

"Then I went away, for what seemed like an eternity, and every year that passed, every month, every week, every day, every hour, every moment that passed I found myself mourning your absence. With every letter you sent, I found myself falling deeper and deeper in love with you, and that the hole in my heart from being without you began to grow. I felt so lost without you by my side. I longed to hear you speak, to hear you sing, to laugh. To see you smile, even to see you scowl." He smiles gently.

"You told me once that you were never getting married, and those words always scared me. They scared me because as my feelings for you grew, I knew I wanted this. I wanted to stand here with you before God, family and friends and let you and them know how unbelievably lucky and humbled I feel to have such an incredible woman in my life, and that you, Katniss Everdeen, would do me the honor of becoming my wife." I can see the sheen of tears in his eyes while my own tears slide down my cheeks. I love him so much it hurts, and to think that I was so resistant to marriage, to this.

"Somehow I convinced you though, didn't I?" He smiles again, and I snort out a laughing cry. "Thank you," he whispers, and I know he is talking only to me now. "I love you so much." He takes one of his hands back, lifting it to drag his thumb across my cheek to collect the tears. "All I want is you forever." He pauses once more, then raises his voice as he speaks again. "I can't wait to spend the rest of my life belonging to you." He punctuates the final sentence by bringing my hand to his mouth and kissing it gently.

I can hear the sniffling sound of Prim crying behind me. Looking to the first pew, I see my mother, dabbing her handkerchief to her eyes, and behind Peeta, I can even catch the sight of Finn quickly swiping his thumb under his eye, which almost makes me laugh out loud.

"Katniss." I turn to look at the minister. "You may now share the vows you have prepared." My stomach drops. Peeta's words had all but erased the knowledge that I would have to do this also. I manage a small nod before turning back to Peeta.

"Peeta." I begin. He smiles at the sound of his name, and I wish it would settle my nerves but it doesn't. "I..." I begin again, biting my lip. My legs feel weak. I know what I want to say, what I want to tell him. I want to tell him how much I love him, how he made me a better person, how he makes me better everyday, but I cannot seem to reconcile my mind with my mouth at the moment. Peeta nods encouragingly at me, but it doesn't change how uncomfortable I am expressing myself in this manner.

"Peeta... I..." I try again, but it's no use; the words are just not coming. I feel like a failure. Peeta stood before me, baring his soul to me in front of all these people, and I cannot manage to give him a simple 'I love you'. I begin to panic, not sure what to do next. That is when my frantic eyes land on Peeta's lips once more. Those lips for which I long for, those lips that can manage to always soothe me, not just with words but other ways as well. It is those lips that inspire me to my next action. I quickly pull my hands from his, raising them up to cup his face.

"Peeta." He looks confused by my actions, but I do not let it deter me. I pull his face down to mine, "I'm no good with words," I whisper against his mouth before pressing my lips to his eagerly, like I am dying in the desert and have just been given water. Peeta's lips are reluctant at first, as he wades through his shock and confusion, but soon enough his lips move fluidly with mine. His arms wrap around my hips pulling me to him, and my hands move up into his hair. Our tongues dance. Again we are alone. That is until...

"Katniss!" I hear my mother hiss from the first pew. Peeta and I jump away from each other; Peeta's face is as red as mine feels. The crowd buzzes with gasps, laughter and hollering. Finn reaches over to slap Peeta's shoulder affectionately.

"Plenty of time for that later!" I hear Mr. Abernathy yell from the crowd. "Let's get through the wedding first, huh, Sweetheart?" I bring my palm up to cover my face.

The ceremony continues. We exchange the rings that were being held for us by Prim and Finn. The gold band feels cold as Peeta slides it onto the finger that holds my beautiful ruby and diamond engagement ring. The minister closes with a prayer, before announcing that we are now man and wife. He turns to Peeta.

"You may now kiss your bride...again," he teases with a wink. We look at each other letting out a relieved giggle at the same time before we close in. This time the kiss is simple chaste, and much more appropriate for church.

* * *

We wave from the carriage as it heads towards the Abernathy estate. Mr. Abernathy had insisted that he host our after wedding celebration at his home. Peeta thought the gesture was merely so his mentor could show him off to certain guests, and while I agreed with him to an extent, I also think Mr. Abernathy is often lonely.

As soon as the carriage pulls away, Peeta is on me. His lips attach to my neck, eliciting a surprised moan from me as my body melds to his. His lips then move along my jaw, up to my mouth. The kiss we share is heated and full of passion. He holds my hips tightly as his tongue massages mine. My own hands find purchase on his forearms as he leans into me.

Only when we are both breathless does Peeta pull away, but only slightly so he can continue to pepper my face with feather-light kisses.

"I. Can't. Believe. You. Did. That." Peeta staccatos each word by touching his lips to my heated skin. I pull away from him, bow my head and close my eyes, still embarrassed by the kiss and ashamed that I failed Peeta.

"I'm sorry," I mumble at my lap. No sooner do the words leave my mouth then Peeta is on his knees in front of me. His hand cups my face, and I lean into his touch.

"Katniss?" Peeta's voice questions. I open my eyes and look at him. His face shows worry and confusion. "Why are you apologizing?"

I sigh. "I didn't say the vows I had written. I didn't follow through as we had planned." Suddenly the words begin spilling from my mouth, as my eyes close again. "I didn't tell you how much I love you, or how you make me a better person. I never told you how the thought of being apart from you makes my heart hurt and brings tears to my eyes. Or how sometimes being with you makes it hard to breathe because the amount of love I feel for you is so great that it crushes the lungs inside my chest. I didn't tell you that before you, I never believed in fairy tales or happy endings. I didn't tell you that I like that you make me mad sometimes. I never talked about how you have such good in you, a goodness I have never seen in anyone else ever, and that I could live one hundred lifetimes and still never deserve you."

"Is that really what you were going to say?" I hear Peeta ask. I open my eyes to look at him. His eyes are wide, and his lips are parted. His face can only be described as being in awe, or maybe...it's reverence?

"Yes, and..." He doesn't let me continue, stopping my words with his lips. He always knows how to quiet me. I moan into his mouth as his tongue enters mine, my hands find their way into his hectic curls. Peeta pulls away after a moment and gives me a devilish grin.

"Do you know what I have been thinking about all day, besides marrying you?" Peeta asks. I shake my head. He leans over, placing a single gentle kiss to my lips. "I've thought about the taste of you. I have craved it all day; it has been driving me mad," he growls. "So if it's all the same to you, I am going to take advantage of this spacious carriage." With that, he pulls up the skirt of my dress and deftly begins unhooking my undergarments. I quickly come to my senses though and push my skirt down to block the area he is trying to get at, stopping his movements.

"Peeta!" I try to be stern but can't contain my giggles. "What about the driver?" I motion towards the front. Peeta looks at me with feigned shock.

"Katniss!" he admonishes. "The driver will not be joining us!" I smack him hard on the side of the arm, then cross my arms across my chest. I turn my head, only looking at Peeta out of the corner of my eye.

"You are crude, Peeta Mellark, and I have no idea why I married you." Peeta sticks his bottom lip out, looking like a child who has just been scolded.

"I thought it was because you like when I get you mad?" he says as a smile tries to break through his pout. I roll my eyes, huffing dramatically. Peeta reaches out, using a finger under my chin to tilt my face forward again. "I love you," he says in all seriousness. "It is I who does not deserve you."

With that, my tough facade breaks, my arms fall to my side, and a smile takes over my face. I could never resist him. Peeta begins working on my undergarments once again, nibbling on the corner of his upper lip, his face scrunched in concentration as he maneuvers through the clasps and straps.

Once he frees me and pulls the garments down my legs, he wastes no time trailing wet kisses up the inside of each of my bare thighs. I can only see a sparse amount of blond curls visible over the crest of my bunched skirt.

His fingers suddenly glide across my eager center. I hear him suck in a sharp breath, probably directed at the wetness that is his doing. He pulls his fingers away all too quickly, but he does not keep me waiting long, and soon enough the flat of his tongue slides up my dripping core.

"Peeeeta," I moan, drawing out his name. This seems to spur him on, as the tip of his tongue flits around my bundle of nerves, occasionally sucking it into his mouth, causing me to arch off the bench

His hands rest on the top my my thighs, his thumbs drawing shapes on my heated flesh. "I love this man," I accidentally mumble out loud, but I cannot find the will to be embarrassed as my orgasm begins to build rapidly. My hips shamefully buck, grinding my center against Peeta's face. When my orgasm arrives, it hits me hard, so hard it knocks the wind out of me. I whimper my way through the blast as Peeta laps me up earnestly.

The movement of his tongue starts to slow as I come back to earth, and every bump the carriage hits, causing another aftershock of pleasure. Peeta finally pulls away, letting the skirt of my dress drop to cover me. His mouth is slick with my arousal, and he wipes it off with the heel of his hand before he climbs back onto the bench to my left, grabbing my face and kissing me. I can taste my own tanginess on his tongue.

My hand makes its way down into Peeta's lap, my fingers gliding against the prominent bulge in his pants. He releases a low groan before halting my motion with his hand around my wrist. I look at him in confusion. It has been so long since we have been able to be together like this among Peeta's work, planning a wedding, and my mother's sudden insistence that once engaged, we were to not spend any more time alone. It made little sense to me, but we obeyed her wishes nonetheless. In fact, we made a game out of it. Long glances across the dinner table, tongues jetting out to wet needy lips, purposeful brushing of bodies against each other in passing. Some nights I would go to bed so desperate for Peeta's touch that I would have to use my own fingers to help find some relief. So besides a few stolen kisses while no one was looking, he has not known my touch for close to four months, and I cannot understand why he would choose to be resistant now.

"We are almost there," he answers my silent question while gesturing with his head out the carriage window. "But later," he says with a smirk, "I am all yours." I grin at the idea. Peeta leans over to kiss me once again. "I love you," he tells me in between kisses.

"I love you too."

* * *

Our carriage driver looks everywhere but at me as he helps Peeta get me down the carriage steps. I blush at the knowledge of what he must have heard. Peeta, who seems to not notice, tips the driver generously before taking my hand and leading me towards the house. The Abernathy estate is a large brick mansion positioned on a sprawling plot of land.

"Is this the size of the house you grew up in?" I inquire teasingly. Peeta stops and looks up at the house narrowing his eyes and tilting his head in concentration.

"A bit bigger than this," he says as he turns to me. My jaw drops in shock; this is the largest house I have ever seen. Peeta ignores the look on my face and pulls me towards the house once again.

Peeta never talks about his life before coming to Boston, despite my persistence in asking about it. He always gets a faraway look in his eyes before changing the subject. All I know is that he attended Harvard, his father is dead, and that his mother and brother—who are Tories—moved to Nova Scotia, but Peeta decided not to go with them. I also know he was engaged to a girl named Delly, but that much I learned from Finnick. Annie told me, while we visited them in Rhode Island, that Peeta did not have the happiest of childhoods, her eyes sad as she spoke. I'll admit that I wish he would open up to me more.

Peeta pulls the rope by the side of the door, and a deep gong rings. We stand there for less than a minute when the door opens. There before us stands a beautiful, demurely dressed, dark-skinned woman. Her smile does not quite reach her eyes.

"Hello Portia," Peeta greets her happily.

"Peeta, it is so good to see you again." Her seemingly sad eyes move to me. "And you must be Katniss, I have heard so much about you." She directs a slight smile at Peeta.

"Nice to meet you as well." I smile and she nods to me, moving out of the way and gesturing for us to enter.

"Well come on you two, your party awaits." Peeta takes my hand in his, entwining our fingers. Portia leads us down a long hallway and stops us in front of a large set of white double doors. She turns to look at us. "Now wait right here, I'll let them know you've arrived, so they can make the announcement." She sneaks through one of the doors, shutting it behind her. I turn to Peeta.

"Announcement?" I ask him, but he just shrugs, obviously as confused as I am. We stand there for quite a long time, and I am starting to get anxious. I begin to daydream about the wedding we had originally wanted, the one that did not require mansions and announcements.

"You know." Peeta's mouth is suddenly at my ear. "You look absolutely gorgeous in that dress." His hot breath sends shivers down my back. "And I cannot wait to take it off of you." I groan out loud as Peeta sucks the soft part of my ear, along with my earring stud into his mouth. He brings his hand up to cup my opposite cheek and moves his mouth down to attack my pulse point, making me wet and hungry for more of him. My eyes flutter shut. It is because I close them that I miss the doors swinging open.

"...Mr. and Mrs. Mellark!" a voice calls from inside the room. For the second time today, Peeta and I jump apart from each other. He squeezes my hand tightly, but I think it is an action born out of shock rather than him trying to be encouraging. I can feel embarrassment on my face as we walk into the room. We are met by snickers, wise eyes, and sympathetic smiles. I catch my mother's eye as she stands with Prim across the room, she is shaking her head at me.

The rest of the celebration goes rather smoothly. We dance, which to my surprise I am rather good at, considering I have never tried it before. Peeta keeps me close for most of the night. If we are not speaking with our guests, he is whispering his wants in my ear. I am sure there will be a permanent blush on my cheeks after today.

Peeta introduces me to a few of his classmates from his time at Harvard. One of them, a man by the name of Benjamin Marvel, stares at me with a confused look on his face. It unsettles me. Peeta seems to notice my discomfort and walks over to Mr. Marvel. With a grin on his face, he speaks directly into the man's ear. In contrast to Peeta's smirk, his classmate's countenance seems nervous, and he's clearly uncomfortable by the exchange. When Peeta finally pulls away, he claps the man on the side of his arm in what looks like a friendly gesture, his face beaming. Mr. Marvel, however, jumps at the contact like a musket ball had gone off next to him. After that, I find that Mr. Marvel no longer stares at me.

Every once in a while as we enjoy the day, I catch sight of Portia, always looking as sad as she did when she first opened the door for us, the exception being when she was having an argument with Mr. Abernathy about his drinking that I happened to walk in on. When I return to Peeta, I take his hand in mine and lean up to kiss his cheek before asking him a question.

"Is Portia always so sad?" I wonder to myself if Mr. Abernathy treats her poorly. Peeta stares off into space a moment before looking to me again. He seems to have the same sad look in his eyes now.

"She's in love with Haymitch," he whispers to keep this information from prying ears.

I lean in, lowering my voice as well. "And he does not love her back?" Peeta shakes his head.

"Haymitch hates himself too much to love anyone else," he says sadly. "But if he were to love anyone it would be her. He can't survive without her."

I think back to when my mother told me about Mr Abernathy's wife dying in childbirth and how the man blames himself. I look back up and this time I catch Portia staring at an inebriated Mr Abernathy from across the room, and suddenly my heart breaks for them both.

* * *

It is nearly evening, and the party has begun to wind down. The dance floor has cleared so that I can dance with Gale while my mother twirls around my sister next to us. I am so blessed to have the family I do. I still miss my father's kindness, and his love of singing sailor songs around the house, but my mother did right by us, all of us. She made sure we were all fed, dressed, educated and most importantly loved.

I glance over to the side of the dance floor and catch Peeta's eye as he speaks with Finnick. He smiles at me, but something seems missing from his happiness. My heart constricts painfully in my chest when I think of how Peeta's family is not here, that he doesn't have any family to speak of. I try to swallow the lump in my throat.

We thank our guests and Mr. Abernathy for sharing our special day with us before exiting the mansion. Peeta has a quiet conversation with our same driver from earlier before we return to our carriage, and take off into the evening to partake in wedding night rituals. We are just out of sight of the house when my arms are wrap around Peeta's neck, my cheek resting on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," I whisper. Peeta's strong arms encircle my body, wrapping it with his warmth, pulling me tight to him.

"What are you apologizing for now?" His voice is muffled as he nuzzles into my hair.

"That your family could not be here today." I bite my lip when a sudden wave of sadness causes it to quake. Peeta pulls back, undoing me with his eyes. He brings his hand up to caress my cheek. I close my eyes, leaning in to his touch.

"You're my family now, Katniss." he whispers before our lips meet again.

* * *

We have ridden quite awhile, and the sky has darkened considerably. Peeta reaches under the seat and retrieves a green scarf from under the bench, motioning for me to turn around before placing it over my eyes and fastening it into a knot at the back of my head.

"Peet—" I begin to protest, but he cuts me off

"Shh, we're almost at your wedding present." He sounds so excited, and I can't help the knowing smile on my face.

After another few minutes. I feel the carriage come to a halt. Peeta takes my hand and lifts me off the bench. I take small shuffling steps as he leads me towards the door. Peeta then takes my other hand before giving me directions on where the steps are. When I am safely on the ground, Peeta takes back one of his hands and thanks our driver for all his help. I hear the carriage drive away a moment later, and we begin to walk again. I can hear Peeta chuckle excitedly as we walk, and the sound makes me start to giggle as well. A few feet later we stop. I feel him move behind me, his hand brushing the bare skin of my neck, eliciting a shiver as he fiddles with the scarf.

"Are you ready to see your present?" he whispers into my ear. I nod enthusiastically. "Ok," he says, and I hear him take a shaky breath before lowering the cloth from my eyes.

Prim may have told me that my present was a house, but now, standing before it, I am utterly unprepared for it. In front of me stands a two-story light green house with a dark green door which is lit by gas lanterns positioned on either side of the entranceway. Off to the right is either an attached arboretum or a day porch, but I cannot be certain in this light. It is a large house for just two people, and by the looks of it, it's quite a bit bigger than the house I grew up in. I am in awe. My husband has bought me a house, and it is beautiful.

"Well, say something," Peeta utters nervously. I can see him bouncing on the balls of his feet out of the corner of my eye. I turn to him, well aware my mouth is still hanging open, and that tears are running down my cheeks.

I look at my husband of less than twelve hours, his wheat-colored hair as always in disarray, his entrancing blue eyes presently fraught with worry as he desperately seeks out my approval. I look at his hands, those hands which have held mine, touched my face and sent me screaming in pleasure as they pushed me over the edge, now wring together nervously. His chest rises and falls quickly. His Adam's apple bobs as he worries his bottom lip. I have never seen this man so nervous in all the time I have known him, and I find it absolutely charming.

"Well," I start as I look back to the house, sucking air through my teeth, as if I am trying to find something nice to say. I look back at Peeta with an obviously fake smile on my face, and when I meet his eyes, I shrug. His face falls immediately, and I almost give up on my game right then.

Peeta hangs his head, looking devastated, I force myself to keep up the facade, and I think I do commendable job until his head shoots up and his narrowed eyes glare at me, his mouth turned down in a frown. He takes me in for a moment before speaking.

"You are teasing me, aren't you?" I look anywhere but at him, trying to keep composure on my face. "Katniss? Tell me you're teasing." I can't do this to him any longer, and I dissolve into a fit of giggles. "Damn it, Katniss, I thought my heart was going to stop." He puts his hand on his chest and takes a deep dramatic breath. I give him a teasing pout in return. At first he looks shocked, but soon enough that cocky grin of his that I love so very much tugs on his lips. That's when he begins to run at me.

I squeal as he closes the distance between us. I run away as best I can with an absurdly cumbersome dress. If I were in pants, I would have the upper hand, but on my wedding day, I don't make it more than ten feet before Peeta has my front pinned against the house.

"You are cruel, Katniss Mellark, and I have no idea why I married you." Peeta's voice is thick with lust as he mimics my jest from earlier.

"I thought it was because you liked that I was infuriating," I say as I push my backside against his groin.

"Katniss," he growls. "I need you inside our house now." His words cause warmth to pool in my lower stomach. Peeta spins me around to face him, his eyes wild with desire. He scoops me up into his arms and charges towards our front door. He is able to maneuver the hand that is under my rear to turn the knob..

Once inside, it is harder to see with the lack of light. I can make out that the rooms around us are sparsely furnished, but I don't want to talk about furniture right now, nor does Peeta as he heads towards the staircase and bounds up the stairs with me still in his arms.

We enter through one of the open doors on the second floor, and he places me down so that he can light the lantern sitting on the floor by the door. Once the fire begins to illuminate the room, I look around. The room is nearly empty aside from few cases on the ground and a large four-post bed adorned with bedding the color of a dark red wine.

Peeta unceremoniously dumps me onto the bed and then climbs on top of me, ravaging my neck and mouth with wet, ardent kisses. I long to feel my bare skin against his, but the thickness of my dress stands in the way of my want. Instead, I succumb to the delicious feeling of his mouth against mine, but too soon the inferno inside of me burns for so much more.

"Peeta," I whine, and his movements cease. He looks into my eyes, and I am temporarily mesmerized by the dancing lantern light in his darkened blue irises. I motion my eyes to look at my material clad body. Peeta quickly catches on, and pulls himself off of me, then reaches down to grab my hands before pulling me off the bed as well.

"Let's get you out of this dress." Peeta licks his lips while trying to figure out where to start.

"Your clothes too," I add. He flashes me a devilish grin, which I return before we are a flurry of arms, hands and fingers, trying to desperately rid the other of every stitch of clothing.

We finally stand before each other naked, Peeta gloriously so. His broad chest and defined stomach move in time with his erratic breathing. His beautifully sculpted arms are splattered with the occasional white scar. A trail of darker hair than can be found on his head creates a trail from his navel past the V-shape of his pelvis, down to the patch of dark curls that surrounds his erection. My mouth salivates at the sight. I look up to Peeta's face, catching him dragging his eyes up my body to meet mine. He silently advances on me, but my hand quickly finds his chest, stopping his movements. He cocks his head at me, looking puzzled. I take control of my nerves.

"I would like to try something different if that's alright with you." I think back to sitting in Madge's bedroom, staring curiously at the erotic illustrations she somehow obtained from French traders. I remember tilting my head and biting my bottom lip as I stared at the frameless painting of a woman kneeled before a man, his length in her mouth, his hand holding her head in place. The scene both confused and stimulated me.

"_Do you really think a man would enjoy something like that?" I ask Madge. She shrugs while remaining equally entranced by the painting. _

"_I guess as long as you don't accidentally bite down." I cringe at the thought. Madge pulls her eyes away from the canvas and turns to me. "You should try it on Peeta on your wedding night." My mouth drops open at her suggestion. Madge just continues to smile much too innocently for the conversation. "If he likes it, maybe I could try it on..."_

"_Ahh." I yell as I cover my ears, grimacing at the beautiful blonde in front of me. She shuts her mouth tight, fighting a smile. When I am sure she is done speaking, I slowly uncover my ears and level Madge with a glare. "I don't ever want to hear about what you do with Gale. Do you understand me?" We stare at each other for a moment or two before dissolving into a fit of_ _giggles._

I am not giggling now, however, as I look to my husband for an answer. Peeta cocks an eyebrow at me, but nods a second later. Before I lose my nerve, I drop to my knees in front of him, my mouth on level with his hardness. I glance up at Peeta once; his eyes are pinned to me, their usual bright blueness now a deep indigo. I take a deep breath and wrap my hand around the thick base of his erection. I hear Peeta suck in a breath.

Once here, however, I have no idea what to do next. I begin to panic, but will my mind to turn off, instead relying on instinct. I press the flat of my tongue against him, gliding it from my closed hand to his tip.

"Katniss...fuck!" Peeta hisses above me. Hearing Peeta curse spurs me on. Bravely, I let the tip on my tongue linger at the tip before taking all I can of him into my mouth, sheathing my teeth with my lips. I pull back and forth, with each pass trying something new. Sucking, swirling my tongue, humming, pumping my fist in time with the motion of my head. Peeta does not make it easy to gauge what he enjoys more, as he has been a profane, moaning mess since I first laid my tongue upon him. However the combination of my pumping fist and swirling tongue brings his hand to rest behind my head, and his hips to ever-so-slightly buck into my mouth.

My jaw begins to tire, but I can't bring myself to stop; every time a guttural version of my name is torn from his mouth and left to bounce off the walls in the surrounding darkness, I feel myself getting wet with desire.

My free hand caresses his thigh, and I can feel his muscles quiver beneath my touch. His movements become jerkier, but I continue. It is not until I feel his hand leaves my head to push on my shoulder that my movement slows.

"Katniss...I..." Peeta's voice is a broken whimper. I pull back just enough to look up at him. The tip of his length is just shy of my lips when I feel a warm, thick liquid splatter against my nose and mouth, dripping down off my chin. I stick my tongue out to taste what is on my lips and discover an unusual, salty taste. I use the back of my hand to wipe up the rest. Peeta is looking down at me with a combination of awe and amusement, but his eyes begin to narrow as a whole new expression takes over his face, more predatory.

I have seen this look once before: on a wolf who I watched from the safety of a tree while it stalked and eventually took down a doe. That same look is now directed at me. Quickly, I am hoisted to my feet. Peeta takes my face in his hands before crashing his lips into mine. My fingers weave into his hair, tugging until he moans into my mouth. Our tongues thrash against each other, and my need for him to take me becomes greater, as I feel him, against my stomach already getting hard again.

"And to think I thought I knew why I married you," Peeta growls against my mouth, my neediness making it hard for me to smile at his words. He pulls away; his face is dark and mischievous. "I want to try something new too." He leads me towards the bed, but stops me at one of the posts. "Bend over, " he instructs, "And hold on." My skin flushes as I grab hold of the post, anticipating Peeta's next move.

Peeta's hand caresses my bottom, and I push against his hand. Not a moment later though he removes his hand and grasps me by my hips. He lifts my backside up a bit, and kicks my feet apart into a wide stance. Then I feel his tip pressed against my wet entrance.

"Ready?" he asks. I nod, and Peeta plunges deep inside of me. I scream out in surprise at the foreign sensation of this new position. He pauses only for an instant before pulling back a bit and slamming back into me. I cry out again. He continues his assault on me; each time he thrusts back in, I cry out, scream or moan. One of Peeta's hands rests on my hip while the other takes a hold of my now loose hair. He tugs on it, not enough to hurt, just enough to help build to my release.

Each buck of his hips brings me closer to completion, but it is the sound of his unabashed moans and grunts that shatter me to pieces. Peeta pulls out seconds later, bringing his face down to the back of my neck as his own completion causes him to curse against my skin. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me down to the floor with him, landing in his lap. Our heated, moist skin sticks together as we catch our breath. I wrap my arms around Peeta's neck and rest my forehead on his shoulder, taking large gulps of air, my heart thrumming in my chest as the last remnants of my orgasm finally leave me. I can feel Peeta's lips leave soft kisses on my neck. I pull back to look at him, my gray eyes connecting with his blues.

"And to think _I_ thoughtI knew why I was marrying _you_." I say with a smirk. Peeta shakes his head and rolls his eyes before our laughter fills the room. Peeta's laughter sputters out and he looks at me with such intensity.

"I love you." The sincerity of his statement cuts my remaining giggles short. I gaze at him as I wait for my body to remember how to breathe. Leaning over, I rest my forehead against Peeta's.

"I love you..." My voice is shakey. "...So very much."

* * *

**And there we are my darlings! Please let me know what you thought of this chapter considering the POV change. Also I wanted to take a moment to express my undying gratitude to each and everyone of my readers, and because of that gratitude I want to be a better author for you, so I am making a resolution to start responding to all my reviews, because if you guys take the time to write me, I should take the time to write back. So please by all means make it hard on me and review the hell out of this chapter... ;)**

**And your Fun Facts:**

**-The first American couple to divorce obtained their decree in 1639 from a Puritan court in Massachusetts. Anecdotal evidence indicates that untold numbers of other colonists simply deserted their unwanted or offending mates.**

**-18th century face make-up, now called lead white, was a pure white lead based paste and highly poisonous. Their rouge was also lead based. **

**- The Church that the Mellarks were married in, now known as The Old North Church, will be important later in this story, however interestingly enough the first 'flight' in America was completed by a man named John Childs, who in 1757, tethered to a rope, and attached to a feathered glider, _flew_ about 700 feet from the steeple of the Old North Church to the ground.**

**Please stop by and visit me on Tumblr under the name Streetlightlove1. I will be posting pictures from this story, which will include a picture of Katniss's dress, pictures of the church, and others. **

**Also if you are interested I wrote a story for the Spring Fling called _Sins of the Father_, and two stories for Prompts in Panem called _What You Have Never Known_ and _The Things That Never Change. _All three stories are available on FFnet and Ao3 (Streetlightlove).**

**As always many thanks to my wonderful beta's Court81981, Pookieh and Katnissinme whose talent keeps this story together.**

**Thanks so much for reading**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hi Everyone! Thank you all for your continued support of this story! It really means so much to me!**

**I would like to thank Court81981, Pookieh, and Katnissinme for their amazing ability to turn this story into the best that it can be! Thank you so much!**

**If you haven't yet, you really need to check out Court81981's new wip 'One by One'. Its an Everlark meets a Agatha Christie murder mystery and I am so excited for it to play out you have no idea!**

**Also if you were not aware I published the first chapter of a new modern day WIP called 'A Healing Heart'. I hope you will check it out if you get a chance!**

**Back to Peeta's POV! Enjoy! **

* * *

October, 1772

The cool October air from the open window chills the room. The tip of my nose is cold, but the rest of me is comfortably warm as I lie, my limbs entwined with Katniss's.

_Katniss...my wife._

The memory of yesterday's wedding brings a smile to my face, followed by a chuckle when I think about Katniss kissing me in the middle of the ceremony. I feel heat on the back of my neck, slightly embarrassed that I gave in to her so completely in the moment. I had pulled her against me in a tight embrace, wishing that I could explore the rest of her body with the tongue I had thrust into her mouth. Of course we were in church, in front of God and before all our family, friends and acquaintances.

I guess it doesn't really surprise me that Katniss _always_ surprises me. If I am being honest, it is one of the many reasons why I fell in love with her. Katniss doesn't care about social confines or appropriateness and most of the time acts purely off the passion she feels in a single moment. It is why she is so quick to anger, but it also fuels the intensity of other emotions in her as well. It is the reason I was able to make her scream my name over and over and over last night.

I can feel my hardening length twitch against Katniss's thigh as I think of all the ways she let me take her last night. I have known no greater stamina than when I am with her. She fuels me with her moans, her breasts against my chest, her hands woven into my hair. The way she looks at me in the heat of it all, like she wants to devour me makes me groan out loud as the memory of her calling my name into the night echoes in my head.

_I think it is time to wake Mrs. Mellark. _

Katniss lies curled up at my side, completely naked. Her head is nestled on my bicep, the arm completely numbed beneath. Her molasses-colored hair falls in waves over her shoulder and down her back. The hands in front of her rest against my stomach, in prayer position while her arms squeeze her chest, exaggerating the swell of her breasts, pushing them upward, beckoning for me to take them in my mouth to toy with and tease them.

I drag my fingers up and down her exposed arm, watching in delight as small bumps appear at each pass. The contact makes her arm and face twitch. I lean over and plant a kiss on her forehead.

"Kaaatniss" I whisper as I draw out her name. "Wake up, beauuutiful." I watch as her lips curve upward, but she stubbornly keeps her eyes screwed shut. My fingers crawl across her belly, and I can feel the skin quiver underneath the pads. I keep up my ministrations until Katniss finally gives in, opening her eyes and looking up at me with the most stunningly serene smile on her face, a smile I look forward to waking up to every morning for the rest of my life. The smile is so lovely, in fact, that I am _almost_ tempted _not_ to drag my fingers across her core, transforming that pretty little grin into tight 'O.'

"Peeta!" Katniss hisses as my fingers move under the blankets and dip inside of her, drawing out moisture that I use to lavish on the area that makes her buck against my hand. Soon I have her shuddering under my movements; her back arches off the bed as the covers fall to the side, revealing her whole body to me.

"Good morning, Mrs. Mellark." I whisper against her lips before claiming them with my own. I swallow the satisfied groan that escapes her. "What would you like to do today?" I ask as I pull away. "I was thinking we could fill your house with furniture."

"Our." Katniss corrects.

"Our." I agree with a smile. I glance around the near bare bedroom. "I didn't buy too much. I wanted you to purchase what you liked best." I turn back to see a wide smile on Katniss's face, her eyes sparkle as she stares back at me.

"I like that idea," she says sweetly. I nod, smiling back. I turn to get out of bed and ready myself for the day when I feel Katniss grab my shoulder and pull me down next to her. "But first I have some wifely duties to attend to, Mr. Mellark." Then her head dips to my waist.

* * *

Katniss and I fall into a easy routine. I spend most of my days writing speeches, discussing strategies with Haymitch, and speaking at rallies across Massachusetts. Katniss occupies her days helping Rue, visiting with Prim and her mother, and occasionally hunting. Even though she no longer needs to shoot game anymore, there is a certain smile she gets on her face only when she's spent a day in the woods. I still become irrationally nervous about her going, so sometimes on days I have no scheduled engagements, she allows me to accompany her. Then at night, we belong only to each other.

We finally spend our first Christmas together. We have Prim and my mother-in-law over for holiday dinner. It is the first time the topic of children comes up. The initial question comes from Prim, but the way Lily looks to Katniss the moment the question is asked makes me wonder if it was planned.

Katniss and I have yet to have this discussion privately. I am still careful to always pull out when we are together to prevent a pregnancy, and Katniss has yet to tell me to do otherwise. I would love to have children one day, but I am not in any rush, not with the prospect of war on our doorstep. We are still young and have been married just two months. Katniss told me once that she didn't want to have children, but she also told me she never wanted to get married either, so I don't know how seriously I am supposed to take that.

Katniss simply smirks at Prim's question, gives a small shrug, and quickly changes the subject. I have to stifle a chuckle when I see how quickly her mother's face falls. I chance a peek at my wife and find her gaze on me, her face abnormally apprehensive. I offer her a comforting smile, and I nod, and after a while she smiles back.

* * *

As time passes I discover more of the many benefits to marrying Katniss. We don't have to hide anymore. If I need to travel for work, she is allowed to travel with me, and if there is a public function to attend, she can accompany me.

One such event occurs at the beginning of July. It has been three months since the Tea Act was established. This seems to be the final straw for the Sons of Liberty. It is the spark that has finally propelled them to take action.

It is a poorly kept secret that this act has been established to benefit the East India Trading Company, which has been floundering financially as of late and is burdened with an excess of unsold tea. The unsold tea was to be shipped straight to the colonies and sold at much lower prices than at the local market—thus resulting in significant losses for local merchants.

The British government foolishly thought that we would just allow this flooding of the market to commence. They have always underestimated the intelligence of us colonists, but we caught on quickly, and presently British ships have docked in New York, Philadelphia and here in Boston but have not been allowed to unload. Each ship's stranded crew has had to look for work on other vessels along the docks. Those of us who have worked behind the scenes in this budding revolution have happily accepted this gift horse and will use it to our advantage.

So I stand here now at the front door of the Abernathy estate with the most beautiful woman in the Massachusetts Bay colony on my arm. Katniss wears a stunning white dress with a pattern of green vines and a variety of colored flowers, most of which I am afraid I couldn't name. Her dark hair pulled up, and around her neck a single red ribbon is tied into a bow at her throat. This bow has done things to me in inappropriate ways since the minute she walked down the stairs in our home.

Presently I feel Katniss's hand tremble slightly in mine. She is never good around large crowds, and she is always nervous when she doesn't know anyone at an event. I bring our joined hands up to my mouth and brush my lips against her knuckles. Katniss turns to me.

"Stay with me?" she asks anxiously.

"Always." I reply just as Portia answers the door to let us in.

Haymitch catches my eye as soon as we are lead into the ballroom. He maneuvers through the crowded room, drink in hand until he is standing in front of us.

"Good to see you, Sweetheart." He nods to Katniss.

"You too, Haymitch," she replies. She has begun calling the man by his first name in the months since our wedding. They have gotten to know each other well and have found a real kindred spirit in one another.

"Well, come on you two." Haymitch gestures for us to follow him as he turns and begins walking across the room. "There are some people who would like to meet you both." We follow him, coming to a halt in front of a seated woman with auburn hair and a burgundy dress, and a man, shorter than I, with a pulled back black pony tail, standing beside her, his hand resting on the back of the green chair.

"Mr and Mrs. Mellark, I would like you to meet my cousin, John Adams, and his wife, Abigail."

"Sir." I extend my hand towards the man. He takes it and shakes it briskly before letting go.

"Mr. Mellark," he says with a nod. I turn towards his wife, and suddenly I am 15 again, and she is buying a cake from my father.

"Ma'am." I give a small bow.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Mellark." She has a warm, welcoming smile on her face.

"Actually, Mrs. Adams, we have met before, quite a few years ago at my father's bakery. My family and I were actually neighbors of yours." The woman's eyes narrow in contemplation before mouthing my last name.

"Of course." Her eyes light up with recognition. "You're Andrew Mellark's son." She turns to her attentive husband. "John, this is the son of our former neighbors.

"Your family moved to Nova Scotia, did they not?" he inquires.

"Well my mother and brother, yes sir. My father however passed away a few years back."

"Oh, that's too bad," Abigail jumps in, her face sympathetic. "He was a good man."

"Yes, ma'am he was." I find I have to clear my throat of a lump forming there due to the mention of my father's death, even after all these years. I feel Katniss squeeze my hand, bringing me back. "And this," I gesture, happy for the distraction, "is my lovely wife Katniss.

"Katniss." Abigail stands from her chair, taking my wife's hand in hers. "I have heard so much about you. Haymitch is quite fond of you, of both of you." She looks to me and smiles.

"Mrs. Mellark." John steps forward and bows.

"A pleasure, sir." Katniss nods her head back.

"Well.' Abigail comes to Katniss's unoccupied side, linking her arm with my wife's. "How about I take the lovely Mrs. Mellark off your hands so you boys can talk about your war," she says knowingly.

I look to Katniss, my fingers still entwined with hers. I gave her my word that I would stay by her side, and I intend on keeping my promise, but her face does not show any hint of nervousness. She smiles sweetly at me and nods reassuringly. I pull her hand to my mouth, kissing it gently, before mouthing the words, "_I will see you soon_". I see Katniss blush as she turns and walks away with Abigail.

I turn back to see Haymitch, feigning disgust at our show of affection, but John has a very slight smile on his face.

"I must warn you, Mr. Mellark." His haughty and proper tone is unable to completely mask his Boston accent. "Abby has been known to corrupt quite a few people in her time. I fear your wife may not be the same when she is returned to you." I can't help but chuckle.

"Not to worry, sir. My wife is never the coruptee, but more often than not the corruptor. If anything she may be able to teach your wife a thing or two." Haymitch barks out a laugh, while John smiles and nods in understanding.

Haymitch collects a few other men throughout the ballroom and herds us into an adjoining room. Cigars and drinks are handed out and soon the room is filled with a light cloud of smoke. Haymitch stands at the front and all eyes are on him.

"So Johnny and I have been talking," Haymitch begins, gesturing at his cousin. "This Tea Act has really set a great many things into motion so we have a few ideas on how to proceed." The room looks to Haymitch with rapt attention. "The boy—" He gestures at me, and while some men in the room turn in my direction, I can't help grimacing, lowering my head, rubbing the back of my skull, hating that Haymitch calls me that. "His pretty face and fancy speeches have gotten us quite a bit of support up and down the coast." I feel pride swell in me at my accomplishments. "However we will need more, especially financial support in the coming months. So the plan is to host a huge rally in Boston; every one of any note who is willing to speak out for this cause should be there. Once everyone else sees the support this campaign is actually getting, it won't be long before other prominent people and merchants begin opening their pockets to sponsor our cause."

The room fills with agreeable murmurs, and after a few drinks, a smoked cigar, and some discussion later, we are in agreement that a rally will take place in the beginning of August. I am even encouraged to ask the Odairs and any other Patriot families I may be familiar with to join us that day and show their support—financially and otherwise.

I leave the room about an hour later, a little fuzzy in the head, and I immediately spot my wife in the corner of the ballroom having a very animated conversation with Abigail Adams. Katniss's hands move about in front of her wildly as she appears to be explaining something to the woman. After a moment, both women burst out laughing to the point of becoming red in the face. The sight of Katniss so carefree and happy, along with the liquor in my head, causes me to chuckle quietly.

I saunter over to the women. Abigail spots my approach first.

"Mr. Mellark," she calls out joyfully, raising her hand to greet me with a wave. Katniss spins around and smiles widely as I close the final distance between us.

"Peeta." She sighs happily as I lean over and plant a small kiss on her cheek.

"Mrs. Adams, would you mind if I stole my wife from you for a dance?"

"Of course not, Mr. Mellark. I should find my husband anyways." She looks to Katniss. "It was a real pleasure meeting you, Katniss."

"You too, Abigail," she chimes in.

"I look forward to working with you in the future." I look up to see Katniss nodding in response, a broad smile on her face. "Good evening, Mr. Mellark," Abigail says with a bow of her head before walking towards the room the rest of the men and I were gathered in.

I guide Katniss to the dance floor. As the orchestra plays their next song, one of my hands finds her hand while the other seeks purchase her waist.

"You and Abigail seemed to be getting along well." Katniss smiles.

"I like her very much. She shares a lot of the same views as I, about the rights of women. It was nice to talk to another woman who understands." Her expression becomes thoughtful.

"What was it she meant by you two working together soon?" I ask.

"Oh, well." I see the glint of excitement in her eye, and I find myself becoming excited along with her. "She and a few other women have started a club of sorts where they discuss how they can help with what is coming, whether it be war or otherwise. She asked me to join them."

"Wow, Katniss." I am elated. "That is great! I think you'll be able to help a great deal."

"You really think so?" Katniss asks, hesitantly.

"Of course I do." I try to assure her. "You are brilliant and clever and have quite a few skills that many women—or men—do not possess." Katniss smiles bashfully.

"Well, thank you for that." She looks up at me with her smoldering stormy eyes, and I can't help but pull her closer to me as we dance.

"No, thank you." I whisper.

"For what?" She cocks her head. I lean even closer so my lips brush against her temple as I speak.

"For wearing that ribbon," I confess. "I cannot even begin to explain what it is doing to me." My voice sounds husky. "When we get home, my love, I intend on taking every stitch of clothing off of you, except that ribbon, because once you are naked and lying before me, I would like to pull it undone with my teeth." I listen as Katniss inhales a sharp breath and feel as she shivers against me.

"Can we go home soon then?" Her voice is so earnest that I can't help but laugh out loud.

* * *

The rally takes place the first week of August on Kings Street, just a few feet away from where the Bloody Massacre, as it is now being called, took place. I can't help but stare at the spot on the ground where Thresh laid dead, shot by a British musket. When I catch Katniss looking at the same place. I take her hand and squeeze it.

"I love you," I whisper in her ear. She turns and smiles at me, though her eyes are sullen.

"I love you, too."

The rally has attracted a large crowd. Finnick and his parents have come up from Rhode Island to show their support, along with many other influential people from around New England.

I make a speech in regards to the Tea Act...

"...It is time that we stand up for ourselves, and for what we believe in. We need them to know that they cannot treat us as less than we are. We need to tell them we are not going to be another piece in their games." The crowd goes wild and when I catch Katniss, gazing adoringly in my direction, I feel as though I could take on the world, let alone the British.

From the animated sounds of the crowd, I can tell that we are making the impact we had hoped for. These colonists do not want to be treated as half-citizens any longer—they want the full benefits of being Englishmen or they want their freedom.

As the rally comes to a close, Haymitch and I stand on a makeshift wooden stage in front of the crowd. Haymitch is thanking everyone for their support and adds that he hopes they continue to help the cause as events begin to unfold. My eyes search the crowd, pride filling me as I watch these men and women stand up for what they believe in. It is as I scan the front row, however, that I notice something out of place. A tall man, eyes narrowed, his mouth twisted into a scowl, holds something in his hand, pointing it in Haymitch's direction.

It's a pistol!

* * *

**Yes I know I'm sorry... Cliffhangers are the worst! :(**

**Fun Facts: **

**-A lot of Katniss's more feminist side is based off of Abigail Adams, so I was happy to have them meet and conspire this chapter!**

**-Abigail Adams is considered the first real feminist in America**

**-John Adams, a lawyer, actually defended the British soldiers who were accused of shooting into the crowd during the Boston Massacre in court. Out of the 8 soldiers on trial, Adams got 6 of them acquitted. The other two were charged with manslaughter and given lower sentences. Even though it was an unpopular thing for him to do, Adams defended the soldiers because he believed wholeheartedly in the right to a fair trial. **

**Visit me on tumblr: Streetlightlove1 - (I've posted a picture of the dress Katniss wore to the event this chapter)**

**Thanks for reading!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey Everyone! Thank you so much for sticking with this story, and for your patience with my lousy updating schedule. I promise to try to start posting more frequently than I have been, but I at least am happy I could get you a chapter on the week of July 4th! :) **

**I would like to yell my appreciation for Pookieh and Court81981 from a rooftop, for their continual support and friendship, also thanks to Court for helping me with my historical accuracy this chapter! YAY!**

**If you guys are interested I posted the epilogue to 'Sins of the Father' recently and would love for you to check it out!**

**Also, you all seriously need to check out Fnur's new story "The People of Panem Vs. Katniss Everdeen" It is a fic about K's trial, and I can't believe we have waited so long for a fic covering this topic, so I am very excited - (I mean I wrote a one-shot about it, but it was awful...seriously terrible. So I am VERY happy about this fic!).**

**And with that... Enjoy **

* * *

My body reacts before my mind realizes where the muzzle of the gun is pointed. I hear my ornery mentor grunt as I shove him out of the way, watching as he falls onto the wooden slats of the makeshift stage. That's when I hear a loud pop.

I watch as a cloud rises from the gun before I am shoved back myself, my back hitting the floor. Smoke continues to fill the area, and I am certain it is not all coming from the musket.

_Is there a fire?_ I think to myself as the cloudy grayness begins to obstruct my sight.

"Dammit, Peeta, don't do this to me!" I hear Finnick yell, his voice uncharacteristically frantic. I am confused by what he is referring to, but find I can't manage to locate him with my eyes; my head is frozen in place.

_What's going on?_

Suddenly I hear a heart-stopping scream. "Peeta! Oh God, Peeta! No!" It's Katniss; her hysterical wailing shatters my nerves. She's in trouble, I just know it. She needs my help. Is she hurt? I try to yell back, but my voice never breaks free from my throat, and my own screams remain trapped in my head. A moment later she comes into my vision.

"Someone help me stop the bleeding." She sobs. _Are you bleeding? _I ask her silently. Her face pulls close to mine. "Peeta, stay with me. Please don't leave me!" I don't want to go anywhere, and if I could just communicate that to her, I think everything would be ok, but the smoke has made my vision blurry and I can barely make out her pretty face anymore. And then she is gone entirely and everything goes black.

* * *

My eyes fly open and everything around me seems entirely too bright as I gasp. My throat feels burnt, and I begin coughing wildly. I assume it must have something to do with the smoke I had inhaled. As my brain is still trying to grasp where I am, the door to my left flies open, and Prim leaps to my side. It is then I realize I am in my old room, the one set off from my mother-in-law's apothecary. This revelation, however, does not put me at ease, and instead fills me with a foreboding feeling.

"Peeta!" Prim squeals in my face, grabbing my cheeks with her porcelain hands. Tears spill out of her light blue eyes and down her pale cheeks. "You're awake! I told Mama you would wake up. I knew you wouldn't leave Katniss."

"Prim." My voice sounds scratchy and raw and is barely audible, but I have my young sister-in-law's attention. "What's... going... on?" I gasp out, a stinging pain trailing down my dry throat. Prim's eyes go wide, and she begins nibbling on the corner of her bottom lip. Her eyes dart around the room; she looks apprehensive, and it makes my heart begin to pound nervously.

"Peeta... you were shot..."

"What!? " I try to push myself up, but suddenly the pain my mind had been too addled to accept presents itself. I look down towards my bare stomach and notice a large crudely stitched incision on the right side. Angry bruising surrounds the stitches. I feel tears prick the corner of my eyes at the pain, and I grit my teeth as I try to relax myself back down into a neutral position.

"Easy, Peeta. Those stitches are not ready to come out yet." Prim places her hands on my shoulders. "Your appendix was hit with the bullet. We had to rush you back here. Finnick carried you, ran most of the way. Gale had to fetch the doctor, and he barely made it in time." I feel bile begin to begin to rise up my throat as Prim details my ordeal in a calm and calculated voice. "The surgery itself went quite well actually. I was able to assist." She beams proudly, but then her face turns grave. "But then you wouldn't wake up. Mama and the doctor thought the fluid from your burst appendix made you sick—that and the loss of blood."

My mind races frantically as I digest what Prim is trying to tell me, and when my thoughts do stop I can only think of one thing.

"Where is Katniss? Is she ok?" With how cracked my voice sounds I can still hear the panic in it. "Prim?" I beg when she doesn't answer me right away.

"Katniss is fine." She grabs my hand in both of hers. "She wasn't hurt; no one else was hurt but you... well Mr. Abernathy got a nasty lump on his head, but since the gunman intended for him to be the target I think he got off pretty well." She gives me a small smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"Then where is she?" I plead with her, and I can tell she is chewing on the inside of her cheek.

"She and Mama had a fight three days ago and... she hasn't been back since." She looks down at her lap. I feel a sting in my heart at her words, but something tugs at the forefront of my brain.

"Prim...how long have I been out?"

"About a week and a half now."

"What!" I yell as loud as my voice will let me, but instantly regret it as I wince from the pain.

"Peeta, you need to calm down! You're not strong enough for that." She squeezes my hand before standing up. "I am going to run and get Mama and I'll send someone for Katniss too. Everything will be alright, Peeta." She smiles reassuringly at me before racing from the room.

I am now left alone to my own thoughts as I try to piece together what has happened to me. The events surrounding my shooting start to come back to me slowly. I remember the man—or more so the gun. I remember knowing it was pointed at Haymitch and reacting, shoving him out of the way. I recall being hit, but I don't remember the pain.

And I do remember the sound of my wife's screams and her begging me to stay with her. Yet here I am all alone, and Katniss hasn't been here in three days. What kind of fight could she and her mother possibly have had that would keep her from my bedside? If the roles were reversed, you would have had to knock me out and drag my unconscious body away before I would ever leave her side.

Lily is the first to arrive back to me. At first sight, I notice a red welt that covers her left cheek.

"Peeta," she says, her eyes glassy. "You have no idea how incredibly happy I am to see you awake." I can hear the emotion in her voice, but she smiles brightly. I lift my hand and touch her cheek with the tips of my fingers.

"What happened?" I ask, my voice beginning to sound normal again. She gently swats my hand away.

"Nothing of consequence. A miscalculation on my part nothing more." She begins to busy herself by examining my stitches, feeling my forehead, and looking inside my mouth. She pours me a glass of water to drink, then a second and finally a third before she is satisfied. The water gently eases my burning throat and lungs. I am desperate to ask about Katniss—and their fight—but something holds me back, and instead I answer all of my mother-in-law's questions about how I am feeling and what I am experiencing for pain.

It is nearly nightfall when Katniss finally arrives. Lily has been spoon-feeding me broth, even though I am perfectly capable of using a spoon on my own, but I indulge her because it seems to make her happy. The door creaks open. I turn quickly and spot Prim staring through the doorway at me, a guarded smile on her face. Just behind her stands my wife. Our eyes lock and even though I will it to stop, I can't seem to keep my bottom lip from trembling.

Katniss pushes past her sister and slowly walks to my side, her stormy eyes never leaving mine. Her mother backs away from us without a word. Katniss comes just inches from me before falling to her knees. She grabs my hand with hers and begins kissing it over and over again.

"Peeta." She sighs.

"Hi," I say.

"Hi," she returns followed by a laugh mingled with a cry. We stay there, transfixed on each other before her mouth is on mine. The warmth of her lips eases away my earlier worries, and for now I bask in the feel of my hands cupping her cheeks and of her tongue gliding against mine. There will be plenty of time for talk later.

* * *

I awake the next morning slightly dazed and alone. Katniss was with me when I fell asleep. Her thumb drawing lazy circles on the back of my hand was my last memory, but the chair she had pulled up against the bed is now pushed back against the the wall across the room.

I stare up at the ceiling, trying to ignore my body's need to relieve itself. Moving is painful, and I have no idea if I could even make it to the chamber pot alone. I bite my lip and shut my eyes tight and hope that someone will be in the check on me soon. No one comes, though, and I can't wait any longer. I grit my teeth and slowly turn myself. I wince at the pain but manage to touch my feet down to the floor.

The pot is mere inches away, so if I can just stand and lean against the bed I should be able to use it. I look down my body; I have not glanced in a mirror yet, but I can tell I have lost weight. I was unconscious for a week and a half—I cannot imagine how they were able to get enough water and food into me to keep me alive.

My legs quake as I attempt to push myself up and my stomach clenches painfully, but I am able to stand, the back of my legs braced against the side of the bed. I pull myself free and with a sigh I finally begin to relieve myself. It is then that the door begins to open, but I can't be bothered to stop since the only people who'd be coming in here would be my wife or my mother- and sister-in-law, who I am sure have seen everything over the past week and a half. When the door does fully open, it is none of them.

"Portia!" I gasp when I see Haymitch's housekeeper standing in the threshold. Her brown eyes widen momentarily before she turns away. I inwardly groan when I realize she is trying to stifle a smile.

"Oh, Peeta, I'm sorry. I should have knocked." Her smile breaks through, and I look down at the floor, embarrassed, but I finish before trying to cover up. Portia keeps herself turned away until I have slumped back into bed and have thrown a blanket over myself.

"Ok," I mumble dejectedly, letting her know she can turn around now.

"Peeta." She gives me a sympathetic smile as she approaches the bed, dragging Katniss's abandoned chair with her. She sits and just stares at me for a second before taking a shaky breath and looking down at the hands in her lap.

"How's Haymitch?" I break the silence.

"He's mad at you." She looks up at me through dark lashes. I roll my eyes and shake my head.

"Of course he is. It would be just like Haymitch to get angry at the person who saved his life."

Portia chuckles, but then her face turns serious. "You're like a son to him you know." She reaches over to cover one of my hands with hers. "He wouldn't want you sacrificing yourself for anyone, and I agree with him." Her voice is stern. "But with that being said—" She lifts her hands up to cup my cheeks. "—thank you, you beautiful boy." I see the tears slide down her cheeks as she brings my face close to hers and gives me a kiss on the forehead. I bring my hands up to cover hers and smile.

"Where is the old man anyway?"

"Out talking to your mother-in-law." She grins.

"Ah, probably trying to figure out when he can put me back to work."

Portia chuckles, pulling her hands away to cover her mouth. "You are probably right." As if on cue, Haymitch appears in the doorway. He isn't looking at me, but instead at Portia. He clears his throat, and I watch Portia stiffen. She reaches up to pat me on my cheek twice, before getting up and leaning down to plant a kiss on the top of my head. "You get better soon, alright?" I look up and lock eyes with her then smile. She smiles back before turning to leave. "I'll be in the carriage." She informs Haymitch, who only nods in response.

"Boy," he addresses me in almost a growl. He stalks over to the chair at my side and sits then pins me with his dark eyes.

"Haymitch," I answer back, narrowing my eyes at him.

"For being so charismatic you sure are amazingly simple-minded."

"Oh I'm sorry, Haymitch, was that a thank you? I guess being so simple-minded I must have missed it."

"You listen here, Boy," he snarls.

"Don't call me boy!" I yell back. He drags his hand through his scraggly gray hair.

"Listen...Peeta," he starts, "you can't be doing that. The cause can't lose you. I can't..." He stops suddenly and coughs before continuing. "A young man like you with a brand new wife does not need to be taking bullets for an old man like me. Do you hear?" He points his finger at me. "Did you think of what your death would have meant for Katniss. Your girl was out of her mind, completely inconsolable for days."

I snort. "Well if that's the case, where is she now?" I'm startled by my own words, not realizing until just now how much her absence has bothered me. Haymitch just shakes his head at me.

"You really _are_ dumb." And before I can get him to elaborate, he stands up and walks towards the door. He looks over his shoulder at me. "Rest up. I need you in tip-top shape for what we have planned next." He looks back to the door but doesn't move. I am about to say something when he speaks again. "My late wife died in childbirth, don't know if you knew that." I hear him exhale a shaky breath. "The baby was a boy... I thought you should know." Then he exits quickly, slamming the door behind him.

I am left behind, completely floored by my mentor's words and actions.

* * *

Lily and Prim come in and check on me a few times throughout the day, bringing me small meals and water each time, but I don't see Katniss again until well into the afternoon. I want to ask her where she has been, but I can't when Finnick bursts in the door behind her.

"Peet," he says, his expression one of awe. He then races over to the bed and gathers me in his arms, ignoring my painful protests, and he begins sobbing, and I find myself having to console him until he is finally able to blubber some words about how afraid he was to lose me.

"It's ok, Finn." I grasp his shoulders. "I'm alive." I try to console my dearest friend. When I glance over at Katniss, I can tell she is uncomfortable. Our eyes meet briefly before hers quickly look away, and I suddenly feel like there are rocks in my gut.

After Finnick leaves, promising to stop by the next day before he returns to Providence, I am left alone with my wife, who hasn't spoken since walking through the door.

"How was your day?" I ask, not even trying to hide my hurt, but if she hears it she doesn't let on.

"Fine, I went hunting with Gale."

"Ah." I say with a nod. An awkward quietness fills the room.

"Do you need anything?" she asks me, looking me in the eyes for the first time.

"Just my wife," I answer truthfully, and I watch her eyes grow slightly.

"I think it's much too soon for that," she says with a small smile.

"Then just stay with me?" I plead. "I miss you when you're gone." Katniss nods once, and I shimmy my way over against the wall, making room for her to climb into bed beside me. We don't talk even though I am desperate to, but at least she's here, and the smell of sunshine and pine calms me, and quickly I fall asleep with her in my arms. The next morning she is still there, and my happiness over it is apparent in the kisses I use to rouse her, but as soon as her mother and sister come into the room to tend to me, she walks out the door, mumbling something about going to Rue's and I don't see her again for the rest of the day.

* * *

An infections sets back my recovery by almost a month, but I am told by a doctor hired by Haymitch that I can go home and return to normal activity in October. I am excited to finally get back to my bed and lie next to my wife. I can only assume that the distance I feel between Katniss and me will be resolved by my homecoming.

Prim rides with me in the carriage back to the house. When we go inside, I can smell the scent of venison stew in the air.

"Katniss?" Prim calls out. A few moments later my wife appears in the opening to the kitchen, a large smile plastered on her face. Her hair is done up intricately, and she wears makeup and a emerald green dress I have never seen before.

"Welcome home!" she squeals with delight and hops up and down. I can't help looking over at Prim, who is in turn looking to me with the same confused expression. Nevermind that Katniss has been cold and distant since I was shot, but even before then, the Katniss I know would never act this way and would never dress up over such an occasion.

"Come in, come in, sit, sit." She ushers us to the dining room table, which has been impeccably set. We sit down where directed and Katniss scurries off into the other room. I instantly look to Prim.

"I...I don't know. She hasn't really spoken to me since that day." Her voice is sad. She and Katniss have always been close, and for them to suddenly not speak is alarming.

"I'm sorry, Prim. I don't know what's..." I am cut off by Katniss reentering the room with a large tray of food. She places the cumbersome tray down gingerly on the table. My eyes widen when I gaze at the feast in front of me. There is a large bowl of piping hot stew, roasted and herbed potatoes, a variety of vegetables, and freshly made rolls.

"Did you make all this?" I ask Katniss, her smile abnormally wide as she sits across from me at the table.

"Of course. You deserved a 'welcome home' meal." For a moment we just stare at each other. I mentally will her to tell me if she is ok, but her eyes flit to the table as she pulls a linen napkin from her spot and places it on her lap.

The stew, vegetables and potatoes are delicious, but the bread is hard as a rock and nearly chips my teeth. I try to consume the roll without Katniss noticing my discomfort, but I catch her looking at me with a small scowl on her face, and I know I have given myself up.

"Did I do something wrong?" She stares at the half-eaten roll in my hand.

"No, darling. The meal is incredible." I insist, but she looks unconvinced.

"What did I do wrong with the bread? Tell me, Peeta, please?" Her pleading eyes pin me to my seat.

"I mean nothing, it's... I mean you probably didn't let the dough rise long enough, but that... I mean that's one of those things that happens all the time to everyone." I unsuccessfully try to stop stammering.

"Oh." Her face falls completely, her downcast eyes look to her lap. I go to explain that it is insignificant and that I appreciate what she did for me, but before I can speak she is on her feet and gathering the remaining rolls from the table. She snatches one out of Prim's hands, which startles the blonde back into her seat. When Katniss stomps into the other room with the botched bread, Prim turns to me.

"I'm going to go." She stands, but I reach out to grab her hand.

"Prim, please." I beg.

She smiles kindly down at me, taking my chin in her hand. "It will be ok, just go talk to her. She was such a mess after you were shot, and I think she just wanted today to be perfect for you."

"Ok." I acquiesce, pulling away from her and directing my gaze to the kitchen. I only know Prim has left when I hear the front door shut.

I walk into the kitchen anxiously, a lump in my throat. I curse my nerves, but something doesn't feel right. Katniss stands leaning against the counter, facing away from me. I can see from here that she is taking heaving breaths. I walk as quietly as possible and wrap my arms around her waist. I tell myself I must have startled her and that is why she stiffens under my touch.

"Thank you, love," I whisper into her ear and listen as she takes a sharp breath. "Everything was truly amazing." I catch the corner of her lips turn upwards. "Please let me take you to our room and show you how perfect it was." I growl then plant a kiss on her slender neck and watch as the skin pebbles under my touch.

"Peeta," she says breathlessly. "You've just arrived home, I don't think we..."

"But," I interject, "I was cleared to do _all_ manner of things." I kiss lower on her neck now and feel her lean back against me for a moment before pulling away. She turns to face me, and I move in, wanting so badly to press my lips against the bow of her mouth, but I am stopped by her finger on my lips.

"It makes me nervous, ok? I just want to make sure you are completely better. Please Peeta?" She looks imploringly at me. And even though the strain in my pants would disagree, I give in.

"Ok," I say softly.

"Ok." She smiles and then turns back to the counter to finish her task. I slowly back away from her and know that the lump in my stomach is not from the bread.

* * *

Time passes and even though I insist to be feeling normal again, intimacy does not return to our marriage. Katniss continues to be erratic with bouts of unnatural happiness and extreme melancholia. I try to approach her several times to discuss this, but she always claims to be tired or feeling ill. In fact, she spends the whole of our first wedding anniversary under the blankets, waking only to eat a bit of food here and there. The distance between us grows greater and greater, and I am completely at a loss for how to stop it.

If I am home she seems to always be away. I take a week long trip to visit Finnick at the end of November, but she doesn't accompany me. I talk to Finn about it, but he has little to offer except sympathetic smiles and rum.

When I return, it is much of the same. She doesn't let me near her, nevermind touch her. I may get a chaste kiss on my cheek if I am lucky, and I am reminded of the loveless kisses shared between my parents when I was younger.

In an attempt to talk about anything I ask her about the book she is reading and where she got it from. When she tells me Darius gave it to her, I become jealous as I think that this man has gotten more from my wife than I have in months. We fight, she throws the book into the fire, and we don't speak for a week.

* * *

Haymitch puts me on small tasks, leading meetings and writing speeches, but nothing too big. I know he is worried, but I am so wound up that I need something. I need to feel like I am accomplishing something since I am failing so miserably at home.

"Please Haymitch. I'm fine, just give me something to do before I pull my damn hair out," I plead to him at our first meeting of December. He scratches his scruffy face as he regards me curiously.

"I may have something for you, pretty low risk, but if you manage not to get shot I will think about getting you some more action." I roll my eyes at him and internally cheer at the opportunity. "Eleven days from now, on the 16th, Governor Hutchinson will allow three ships carrying hundreds of crates of tea to enter the harbor. Before the taxes can be paid on the tea you will lead a small contingent onto the boats and destroy the cargo." My eyes widen with delight.

"Are you serious?" I can't keep the excitement out of the voice.

"Easy, boy. There will be a group of us keeping watch over Griffin Wharf and you will be alerted if things start looking sticky. You'll be safe."

"Well what do I need to do, how should I go about this." Haymitch puts his hands up to stop me from continuing.

"Hey this is your show. I know you can convince a crowd to do what you want."

A few days later I have the first meeting of volunteers for the tea-destroying mission. We decide that we should wear disguises just in case. My suggestion of dressing like natives from the Mohawk tribe is a big hit. I catch Katniss listening in on the discussion and I offer her a tight smile, which she returns before turning away.

With all the preparation, the days pass quickly, and soon I am standing in front of the mirror in my bedroom, a leather band around my head, and a plume of green and blue feathers poking up from the back. My face is smudged with coal dust in attempts to make my pale skin look darker.

"You look ridiculous." I mutter to my reflection, but excitement still bubbles in my gut.

I walk down the stairs and am surprised to see Katniss, her hair in a braid down the center of her back, dressed in brown pants and a shirt, rummaging through her leather hunting pack. On her head she wears her own headdress, although her feathers are orange and red.

"What are you doing?" I ask when my feet hit the bottom step.

"Just getting stuff together before leaving." She doesn't even look up from her pack.

"What do you mean leaving?" I approach her. "Where are you going?" She stands and looks at me in confusion.

"I'm going with you of course."

"No you're not," I say firmly, but she narrows her eyes at me and takes a step in my direction.

"Yes. I. Am," she says pointedly. My hands ball into fists at my side, and my frustration heats my face.

"No! You are not coming. It could be dangerous."

Katniss snorts. "That's funny coming from you." She smirks. "Don't worry, my knowledge of guns involves more than being shot by them." My teeth grind at her cheap shot. "Besides," she continues, "I have never seen a blond-haired, blue-eyed native before." She reaches over and tugs one of my curls. "At least I naturally look the part." She turns to walk towards the door.

"Katniss!" She freezes, but doesn't turn my way. "I don't know what game you're playing at but..." She swivels quickly to face me.

"You think this is a game to me?" Her eyes blaze with anger.

"I don't know what this is to you because you won't fucking talk to me!" I yell and watch hurt flash across her face. "Just tell me what's going on, damn it." Katniss begins pacing in front of me.

"I've been preparing for this," she whispers.

"Preparing for what?" But she seems to ignore me.

"I wasn't prepared last time. I couldn't stop it from happening. I just had to sit there useless and afraid and watch you—" She looks up at me as a sob rips from her throat. "—bleed to death," she finishes before she starts pacing again. "My mother told me you were going to die, that with how long you were out there was no chance you would wake up again. She told me to start making arrangements." She glances up at me, the tears still streaming down her face. "So I hit my own mother." Her admission makes me jump as if I were the one who was struck.

"I have never felt a pain like that in my life, I... I can't even explain to you how hard it was to continue breathing when I knew you wouldn't be for much longer. I still feel that pain, and when I close my eyes all I can see is your blood leaving your body and the color drain from your face. It keeps me up at night, and no matter what I do I can't..." Another sob escapes her and I try to approach, but she backs away like a scared animal.

"Katniss." I reach out but she shakes her head at me.

"So when you woke up I decided I was never going to let this happen again. And I've been practicing. I am faster and stronger than I was then. If someone tries to hurt you—" Her eyes darken as they narrow. "I will fucking kill them." Then she picks up her pack and walks out the front door.

I follow her into the frigid December night, still reeling from her breakdown. My breath is so thick in the cold air that I can barely see Katniss in front of me as she marches towards the harbor. I knew something was wrong. Why hadn't I been more attentive, why hadn't I insisted she speak to me. Of course I was too busy being disappointed at her absence that it never occurred to me to wonder what she might have been doing or how she felt. I still can remember her screams from that day.

"Damn it," I mumble to myself as I think of how messed up she's been. Sure I was the one who was shot, but she was the one who mentally suffered because of it. I decide when this is all over I will find away to make this better and bring her back to me.

When we approach the docks, I see the men gathered, all dressed up like natives, carrying hatchets. I ignore their confused glances towards my wife and begin going over the strategy.

"We will break up into three groups. When I give the signal you will board your ship and destroy the cargo. We want to do this quick, so I would suggest throwing the crates into the harbor, it will be the easiest and quickest way to dispose of it." The men and Katniss nod in understanding. I break the group up and keep Katniss with me, not that I think she would have allowed it to be any other way.

We quietly move towards the three ships. I give the ok, and we board them. Our ship is nearly deserted and we meet no resistance from those who have remained on board. In fact one of the crew even hands over the brig's keys so we can easily access the tea without damaging the ship. A few men run down to the cargo hold and begin to send up crates of the East India Trading Company's unsold tea. I keep an eye on the docks, knowing that Haymitch will send a runner if there's trouble heading our way, but the street looks clear so I join the rest, finding the action of destroying the British cargo remarkably cathartic.

We are all breathless and giddy when the task is done; for a few moments we enjoy what we have done and gaze upon the crates— some of which were busted open when they crashed against the ship in the descent —floating completely ruined in the murky Boston harbor. I look up and catch Katniss staring at me with a smile more genuine than I have seen in a long time. I smile back.

Nervous energy and caution leads Katniss and me to run back to our house once we depart the harbor. We race through the door and then bend over and try to catch our breaths from the sprint. Once our breathing has leveled out, Katniss looks up at me, still beaming like she was on the ship.

"I can't believe that!" she gasps. "That was so much fun." Even though I agree with her, I don't say anything. Instead I stalk over to her, wrap my hand around the back of her neck and claim her lips with my own. Her mouth melds to mine, and our tongues move against each others.

I place my other hand on her hip and walk her backwards until I have her pinned against the wall. Between the excitement of the night and the proximity to my wife, I have already grown hard in my pants, and I make sure she can feel it as I lean against her. She moans softly and bucks her hips towards mine.

When I pull my mouth away from hers I see that I have left coal dust smudges on her nose and cheek, but I don't stop to clean it off and instead begin kissing a line from her jaw to the pulse point at the base of her neck.

"Peeta," she whimpers. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I acted..."

"Hush," I say into her skin. Right now all I need to do is make her mine again and for Katniss to make me hers. I need desperately to taste her flesh and to bury myself inside of her. We will talk later, that much I am now sure of, but right now I don't want to hear her words, I want to hear her moans.

I pull back, grasp the bottom of her shirt and then drag it over her head, pulling off her headdress with it and exposing her bare chest to me. I feel myself throb at the sight. I quickly lean forward and take her dusky nipple into my mouth, and suck and tug on it with my teeth while my hands push down her pants, letting them pool on the floor.

"Peeta." She moans when I take her other breast in my hand and begin kneading it roughly.

I move up to capture her mouth with mine again, and my fingers slide easily into her already dripping center. I hiss into her mouth at how ready she already is for me. My fingers pump into her then move up to her bundle of nerves. I swallow Katniss's whimpers as she grinds against my fingers.

Her hand moves to cup me through my pants, and I groan as I pull away from her mouth to pull my pants down with one hand while continuing to work her center with slick fingers from the other. Once freed, Katniss wraps her fingers around the base of my erection and begins pumping in time with my fingers, but I have a head start, and her hand's movements become jerkier the closer she gets to her own completion.

"Ahh, Peeta... Ahhh," she calls out, slamming the back of her head against the wall, biting her lip as her orgasm washes over her. Her hand pulls away from my length, and she writhes and gasps under my ministrations.

When I know she has finished, I pull my fingers away, using the moisture to coat my erection. I press my lips against hers one more time, mutter a whispered, 'I love you', then hoist her up on the wall and push myself into her.

We both groan out loud as her walls stretch to sheath me completely. I have missed the feeling of being inside of her, and with a grunt I begin thrusting up into her, over and over again.

Her arms wrap around my neck, and her face falls to my shoulder, allowing me to better hear every moan and whimper that escapes her, as I move into her at a punishing speed. My hands grip the swells of her ass, and my teeth sink into the flesh on her shoulder, causing her to yell.

Her walls begin fluttering, and with a few more thrusts I feel them tighten completely as she calls out a guttural version of my name and her nails dig into my back. Her tightness milks me, and I am just able to pull out in time to spill my seed on her inner thigh as I cry out.

We breathlessly slide down to the floor, and I hold her in my arms, her sweaty brow pressed against my neck.

"I love you, " I whisper into her hair.

"I love you too," she responds, her lips moving against my skin.

"You're not allowed to leave again." I hear her take a shaky breath, but then I feel her nod.

"You either."

"I promise," I say, planting a kiss on her head.

* * *

**This might be my favorite chapter so far... And did Prim bailing on Peeta during his 'welcome home' dinner make anyone else laugh?... ;)**

**Fun Facts:**

**1. (Courtesy of Court81981): The dock the Boston Tea Party took place on was actually padlocked that night, and they had to break into it. When all was said and done, the Sons of Liberty actually ordered a new lock to replace the damaged one because 'They had no love for lawlessness'**

**2. The first recorded successful appendectomy was in 1735 and performed by French surgeon Claudius Aymand, in London, on an 11-year-old boy whose appendix had been perforated by a pin that the boy had swallowed. **

**3. Out of my 4 multi-chapter fics - Peeta has been shot in 3 of them... :/ (sorry)**

**Come visit me on Tumblr - Streetlightlove1**

**Thanks for reading! **


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